The National Order of the Emmerdeurs

In 1802, Napoleon Bonaparte had the clever idea of creating the National Order of the Legion of Honor. This prestigious award was intended to pay tribute and reward soldiers who distinguished themselves or died for their country on various battlefields.

Just like the Order of the Garter, or the Order of Malta, l’Ordre National de la Légion d’honneur is a highly respected decoration coveted by many. Wearing the prestigious “rosette” on his lapel is the culminating ambition of many young upstarts.

I, like Napoleon Bonaparte am toying with the idea of creating a new Pétanque Order that I would call the National Order of the Emmerdeurs.
Like any other order, it would single out individuals who distinguished themselves on the pétanque field. Not necessarily by doing good, but by causing troubles. And I am sorry to say that I might be partly responsible for that state of affairs.

I have always encouraged all our members to practice the noble art of “shooting”. Some took my admonitions at heart. They practiced and practiced, until some day, lo and behold, they shot one of my boules out of its exquisite winning spot.
And they committed this sacrilegious act more than once.

In my book you don’t shoot at your coach’s boules! Out of respect for his counseling, you miss your Mentor’s boules. You can come close, but you have to miss! It is the honorable thing to do. Those rogue players who continue to disrupt games with their ridiculous feats become prime candidates to be nominated “emmerdeurs”, notorious scalawags who are known for rattling someone’s cage.

Nobody likes a troublemaker, especially when he does things better than you do. Nobody cares for a chick lecturing a rooster. Right?
All right then… In our club, who deserves to be inducted in that Order?

I nominate Noel Marcovecchio who has had the audacity to knock my boule out of place more than once. He is a traitor and what’s worse a recidivist! Do not let his mild-mannered appearance fool you. This man is dangerous.
On the women’s side I would also induct Verena Rytter who has disrupted many games with her shooting stunts, and some outrageous woman named Tamara who has been trying to emulate her husband’s heroic accomplishments… in vain.

If you agree with me, and I am sure you do, wear a sign on your pétanque bulletproof vest saying “Make Missing Great Again”.


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