Animal magnetism

“You think those dogs will not be in heaven! I tell you they will be there long before any of us.” Robert Louis Stevenson

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I don’t know what it is, but I seem to have animal magnetism… you know, the invisible natural force exerted by animals on others.

Cats, dogs, horses, mosquitos, women, all seem to be unusually attracted to me.
If it is not magnetism how can I explain the fact that I am constantly pulled to refrigerator’s doors?

It might sound a bit cheeky, but women constantly hit on me on social media or on Skype.
They all want to be my friend or as the kids would say, “hook up”.

Can animal magnetism also work on line? Can my would-be friends sniff my extraordinarily potent pheromones through their digital devices?
Doctor Franz Friedrich Anton Mesmer believed that the force could also have physical effects, including healing.

Could I be a healer? Like Monsieur Jourdain in Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme I was not aware of this.

“By my faith! It has been more than forty years that I have had animal magnetism without my being aware of it, and I am most obliged to you to have taught me that. “

So what can I do with my newly discovered talent? I am a great “petter” my cat can attest to this… and so can some of my former girlfriends wherever they are (probably still in my magnetic field).

trumpSo how can I parlay my magnetism into piles of money?
Our new boss man in Washington might be able to use my talent.
I realize that I have bad-mouthed the Donald in the past, but like seasoned politicians I see nothing wrong in begging him for a job.
When need be, I can easily switch sides and talk with both sides of my mouth.

But animal magnetism can also have some drawbacks. I am afraid for instance that at the Thanksgiving dinner a turkey (dead or alive) is going to stick to me.
And magnetism as you know cannot be turned on or turned off at will. The Force is a curse or a blessing that you have to live with.

Anyway, I am stuck with it. So, don’t be surprised if you are naturally attracted to me and want to spoil me a little (gifts or money are OK).

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Alain, your attractive friend

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