Nowadays everywhere I go I see men hugging, and I am not talking solely about homosexuals.
Once a taboo among young heterosexual males, hugging has become a fashionable ritual for tattooed young men.
I don’t mind an occasional “abrazo”, but I balk at being subjected to this ostentatious routine on a regular basis.
With guys, I favor the tried-and-true handshake.
It is said that the handshake originated as a way to prove that your hand was not holding a knife.
Even though handshakes are known to spread germs, they are much safer in my opinion than the embrace. Especially among mafiosi.
As a fan of The Sopranos, I have learned that the embrace is often the prelude to a violent demise. You embrace a guy to allay his fears and soon after, you whack him.
And technically speaking, it is much easier to plant a knife in the back of your “amico” while hugging than when shaking hands.
You might have noticed that I very seldom hug anybody on the pétanque field. You never know who is a sore loser.
“Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer” is another common saying. It makes sense.
I am pretty sure that Marcus Brutus embraced Julius Caesar before stabbing him to death.
A handshake could have prevented this ignominious ending.
I also favor the old-fashioned handshake because it gives you the measure of a man. A weak grip betrays an untrustworthy man.
He is definitely not into you, when with a limp shake he professes to enjoy meeting you.
When on September 22, 1938 Hitler shook hands with Neville Chamberlain I bet you that he probably offered Neville a very limp grip.
In his overwhelming desire to prevent war, Chamberlain probably did not notice this. Too bad.
Had he been a little less focused on peace, he should have embraced that malevolent little man and speared him with a cheese knife while he had the chance.
If you are a guy, when you see me, don’t hug me.
If you like me, just extend your hand and offer me with some moola.
That will do very nicely and it will be very much appreciated.
Alain