The man who talked to dogs

It’s me, I confess.
I cannot see a dog without having the irresistible urge to engage in a little “tête-à-tête ».
I walk almost daily through the woods near my house and I almost invariably bump into one of my four-legged acquaintances.

You can gauge a dog’s intentions by calmly looking at him and calling him.
Some, like inhibited women, will come running and throw themselves at you.

Some are more reserved (probably English dogs) and will take a wait-and-see attitude.
I then extend my hand and repeat my invitation again.
They will sniff it (their way of checking me out) and when satisfied, they signal that they are ready to have a little chat.

Some snobs will ignore me but some will want to play right away. They deposit a tennis ball or a stick  in front of me and invite me to play catch. I always oblige.
Some older dogs will just ask you to scratch or pet them. Not there… On the left… Under the belly… Yeah… That’s good!

I ask “how are you doing?”.
-Not bad, what about you?
-Not bad either, but it could be better.
-What’s the matter? Is you wife bugging you?
-Sometimes…
-Well, let me tell you what I do.
-Please do.
-When my keeper bugs me, I pee on the rug.
-I cannot do that!
-And when they really piss me off I chew on everything in sight.
-Does it work?
-I am not sure, but they pay more attention to me. I also get more treats. By the way, do have any munchies on you?
-I am afraid not.
-If you are coming tomorrow, don’t forget to bring me some Chew Sticks. I am trying to quit, but it is difficult…
-I understand.
-Say hello to the missus!
-I will.

That’s it.
Buddies don’t need to say much. They understand each other without having to spell things out.

A few drops on a tree to respond to a previous message and they are on their way.

-Hasta la vista!
-Vaya con dios amigo!
(Some of my friends are Hispanics)

I always feel better after such a meaningful exchange and I am pretty sure that they do too.

Alain