Vade Retro Satana

Everybody knows that a crucifix or a garlic lei will keep the Devil at bay.
But sometimes you don’t have these reliable tools handy when you most need protection from the Prince of Darkness.

devilSingle women I have been told, are especially vulnerable to Satan’s ploys. They have relied since time immemorial on the male of the specie for protection; but when widowed or divorced, they become highly susceptible to attacks.

You ought to know that Satan doesn’t work alone and relies on many surrogates to do his nefarious work. And they come under all kinds of guises.
They could look like car mechanics, plumbers, pest-control guys, financial advisers… but trained eyes can see through their cover and shoo them away.

A divorced acquaintance of mine told me that she knows what to do when under attack by the Wicked One.

When confronted or pressured by unscrupulous Satan’s henchmen, she flashes a wedding ring and quickly recites the magic formula:  Vade Retro Satana (Go back Satan). She repeats it three times and the Evil One is forced to beat an angry retreat.

These magic words also imply that if the Devil doesn’t back off, she will call her big brawny husband to deal with the matter. And when disturbed, he is not a pleasant man.

This woman told me that the ring combined with the magic incantation works wonders, and that Satan’s helpers always back away. So even though she is not technically wedded anymore, she wears the gold amulet for protection.
She doesn’t wear it all the time for fear of wearing off its magic powers, but she keeps it handy for emergencies.

I was not aware of the Golden Ring’s magic capabilities, but now that I am cognizant of the facts, I will make sure to always display it prominently.
The problem though is that when I go to sleep I always remove my wedding ring and sometimes, I forget to put it back.

I should be more careful because I am a weak person, and without my ring to protect me I could easily fall prey to the Devil’s sweet talking propositions.
So wear your ring, and to make double sure that nothing regrettable happens to you, eat and bathe in a garlic scented concoction as often as you can.

You can thank me later.