When Insults Had Class

**** An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband I’d poison your tea.”
He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” 

 **** A Member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

 **** “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”  – Winston Churchill 

 **** “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 

**** “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it” – Mark Twain 

**** “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” –  Oscar Wilde 

**** “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
 “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

 **** “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson 

 **** “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

 **** “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” –  Mae West 

  **** “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde 

 **** “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it” – Groucho Marx

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