Au Cochonnet Marin

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!”

This is the first line of a speech by Mark Antony in the play Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare.

Well, Mark Antony, I am willing to listen, but unfortunately, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to lend my ears to anybody. Particularly to people who speak in whispers, who talk too fast, or  mumble.

And I am not alone. According to the National Institute on Deafness “Approximately 15% of American adults (37.5 million) aged 18 and over report some trouble hearing. Mar 25, 2021

 I don’t deserve this. I never went to any thunderous Rock concert whose only goal is to ruin your hearing or to any Far-right rally.

“On average, rock concert decibel levels are between 90 and 120 db. This decibel level is concerning as it can threaten your hearing health. Sounds above 85 dB are considered harmful to human hearing.”

 It is more than obvious that Rock musicians are in cahoots with hearing aid companies. Make everything shake, they preach  and you  shall get a nice cut of our ridiculously high profits.

Hearing aids are extremely expensive, but my main complaint is that they don’t stay in your ears.  No matter what, soon or later, they will attempt to escape… and they do it the English Way. You don’t feel anything, but two thousand dollars (a piece) just disappeared catimini. And it can be replaced only once! After that, you are on your own.

The other day I went to see the latest James Bond flick (No Time to Die) and the sound in the theater was so loud that I had to cover my ears… But when I uncovered them, I still could not understand much of the dialogue. And the plot was so far-fetched that even if heard it I would not understand what was happening. I like Daniel Craig, but the movie is more about car chases and shooting than anything else. We left before the movie ended.
Why don’t they have subtitles in movie theaters? This way  we could cover our ears and still enjoy the show.

A quick word of advice: if you absolutely want to see this movie, first go to the Internet  and read the script. It might help you (a little) to understand why all these people are trying to kill each other. On second thought, with the abundance of guns in America, you probably can stay in your neighborhood and witness the same carnage for free.

But every cloud has a silver lining.  Sometimes, not hearing what people say is a big plus. Why clutter your mind with insignificant gibberish?

 Alain

It is hard to believe, but evidence is pointing to this direction. The stupidity virus (StuVi20) has proven to be highly contagious and difficult to contain.

Unlike the Covid bug though, it does not physically hinder those affected. It is rarely lethal, but those contaminated by it usually experience a net slow-down of their mental faculties. It takes noticeably longer for them to process and absorb new facts and figures.

“The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.” Anonymous

Unlike Covid-19, the stupidity bug seems to affect the intellect rather than any other parts of the human body. This disorder seems to be a tribal phenomenon that strikes some families, political and religious affiliations groups, or people living in small, isolated communities.

Covid-19 has proven to be beatable for people whose brain has been spared by the stupidity virus; but for the so-called “dissenters”, it will be a long arduous road ahead. It is difficult to get rid of some thoughts when everybody around you seems to share the same beliefs.

“Obstinacy and vehemency in opinion are the surest proof of stupidity.” Bernard Barton

For some people, fellowship is very important and breaking away from the pack is always difficult. It probably feels like an Amish youngster trying to escape from his rigid environment.

It takes pluck to disagree with your clan, and few people have the nerves to do that. But some children, not yet contaminated by the stupidity virus, used their brains to think for themselves and opted to throw in their lot with doctors and scientists.  They might in turn convince their parents to abandon the church of ignorance and join the cult of reason.

But no matter what, virus or no virus, some people are born stupid and will remain stupid until the Saint-Glinglin.

“Feeling pretty proud of myself. The puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.”

I told you so!

Alain

The day after the atmospheric river cyclone left town, I took a quick ride to our pétanque field to assess the damage. It looked impressively bad…

Initially I saw large pools of water everywhere and tons of dead leaves littering the entire field. At first glance, it looked like it would take weeks to clean up the mess… but today, I proclaim that happy day are here again… yesterday, under a bright springlike sunshine the field looked pristine and eminently inviting. And about 10 or 12 pétanque devotees were already taking advantage of this development.

Some good fairies no doubt took pity on us and came during the night to clean up the mess. This is what I have been telling our grandchildren, but I am not entirely sure that they believe me. And the little munchkins are right…The truth is that under the impulse of our Commander in Chief (Christine C), some dedicated volunteers tackled the problem almost immediately after the storm decamped.

I didn’t help, sorry. My back is still uncooperative and does not allow me to do any manual labor. I keep hoping that this problem is just temporary and will eventually be resolved. I am not one bit religious (my denomination is non-Delusional) but I have faith in my doctor, his magic injections, and his anti-spasm medication. Time will tell.

My undercover agents are telling me though that Mike O’Leary, Sandra and Mark Shirkey, Christopher,  Christine Cragg, Charlie, Jacques Gautier, Colin, Loel, Abby and Shama were instrumental in restoring the field to its present status. Thanks and kudos to all of them!

Yes, happy day are here again…

Our next tournament of the year (November 14) is fast approaching, and weather permitting, it should be well attended. Personally, I always enjoyed playing in the winter; I almost prefer it rather than playing under a scorching sun. Those of us who went to Napa a few weeks ago will surely agree…

If you intend to play on Saturday or Sunday (Halloween), don’t dress up too scarily. Some players have a weak heart and might not be able to stand the stress. Thinking about it… some people are naturally scary…

George M. Cohan said: “Always Leave Them Laughing When You Say Goodbye.”
So here goes:

“What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing? Get a broom!”

Happy Halloween boys and girls! Happy days are here again!

Alain