Au Cochonnet Marin

Once in a while… What am I saying? Almost daily I read about celebrities’ pregnancies.

Some personalities are very coy about it. They are single and they don’t seem to be in a widely known relationship.
So what the hell happened? One-night stand? Artificial insemination? Or was it simply an “immaculate conception” or as they say a “spontaneous combustion”?

And talking about Immaculate Conception… What an extraordinarily convoluted story!
I am not sure I am almost certain that nobody really understands what it means.
The Roman Catholic Church said, “God preserved the Virgin Mary from the taint of original sin from the moment she was conceived.”
What kind of gibberish is this?

And what is the Original Sin? Is procreation a sin? Didn’t God say, “be fruitful and multiply”?Excuse my French, but I recall that this verse was originally written in Hebrew…
Could some misanthropic monk have deliberately induced the public in error and called “discussing Uganda” a sin? I don’t put anything past someone who abjured sex.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t begrudge any woman the right to get pregnant, but raising a child singlehandedly is a tough job. A very badass job.

“Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.”–Rita Rudner

Single celebrities set a bad example for the rest of the women folk because what’s relatively trouble-free for a wealthy celebrity is hardly manageable for the average woman. Celebrities have the means to hire nurses and nannies, but single women in general don’t have the money to do so and become hopelessly hobbled by the responsibilities.

When I was a schoolboy a woman got engaged first, then married and then had children. Today, in the age of instant gratification, many women prefer to have their dessert first without bothering with the appetizers.

To each his own, but if you are not swimming in dough, think twice before having your “Baba au Rhum” before your antipasto.

Alain

“Compassion for animals is intimately associated with goodness of character, and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man.” ― Arthur Schopenhauer

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I totally agree. Show me a man who mistreat an animal and I will show you a potential wife beater, or worse.
I am an unabashed animal lover and animal rights advocate and absolutely nothing will ever change my mind.

In many cases animals are better than humans.
A human is notoriously unreliable. Friend today, foe tomorrow.
Animals by comparison are the ultimate friends. They will never betray you and right or wrong, you can be assured that they are unconditionally on your side.

Nothing will ever sway them. They are not interested in money or all the things that mortals crave.
Pets don’t pass judgment. They are always glad to see you. They don’t ask questions and have no recriminations.

And a pet will never misplace the house keys and will let you watch whatever you wish on TV. Porn, horror, politics (combination of the two previous items) comedy, everything is OK as long as they can cuddle with you.

When you fall in love with a critter, no “prenup” is ever necessary. It is unequivocally understood by both parties that this commitment is valid until “death us part”.
When an animal loves you, it is for life. The same cannot be said for humans.

You can never get bored with an animal. They don’t have much conversation but they are very good listeners (when they don’t snooze).

Even though it is not obvious, animals have distinct personalities and feelings. Humans might forgive, but never forget. Animals will always forgive and forget.
They are unconditional friends.

Regardless of his or her own physical or mental conditions everybody responds positively to an animal. It has been proven over and over in hospitals and nursing homes that one therapeutic session with a four-legged beastie is more effective and cheaper than any overpriced medication.

Give me any four-legged creature and I will show you the potential for a beautiful undying friendship.

Alain

“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.” ― Colette

Enjoy a Day in San Francisco with me.
Turn your computer’s sound on, and click on the link “My Photos” located on the right side of this page. For best viewing, go Full Screen.

“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.”
George Carlin

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Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, lived an amalgam of quarrelsome tribes called “Terriens”.

They coexisted under an eccentric set of rules called “democrazy”.
Under this arrangement, every four years all tribesmen (regardless of their mental condition) were summoned to select a chief, a liege lord.

And so one year, after being deluged with fantastical claims, the Terriens picked an individual who vowed to bring them back to the Promised Land. A land of milk and honey where everybody (except a few of course) would live a prosperous and happy life.

They chose a leader who was called Drake (the name of a male duck by the way).
He was very wealthy and he was also dubbed the Gift-Bringer of the East. All his followers expected a great deal of plundering and looting in return for their votes.

During his drive for control, Drake made numerous promises but shortly after being triumphantly hoisted on a shield by his warriors, he wavered.
He realized that there was a very big gap between free flowing rhetoric and action.

He also quickly discovered that people can be fickle, and that hell has no fury like scorned mercenaries. After a brief honeymoon period, peasants carrying pitchforks and torches soon started to gather nightly in front of his castle demanding satisfaction.
They also began to call him the Flapdoodle Whisperer.

Drake who was notoriously thin-skinned didn’t like that. He retreated to his ivory tower and ordered his minions to raise the drawbridge. He also decided to ignore troubadours and minstrels to disseminate his ideas and only communicate with his legions with tweeting birds.

In the meantime, Christmas was fast approaching and in spite of the existing hardship, people furiously engaged in the greatest commercial hustle of the year.

On Christmas Day, Santa who was traveling on his SPPS (self-propelled photovoltaic sleigh) noticed a disturbance on Drake’s estate and decided to have closer look.
He did not like what he saw.

Drake had been talking ceaselessly about “cleaning the black lagoon” but when Santa looked at Drake’s swimming pool he couldn’t help but notice that the pool was full of very wealthy “swamp creatures”.
He decided to give the Drake a taste of his own medicine.
Instead of the gold, frankincense and myrrh that Drake had expected, Old Nick dropped a big lump of coal in his stocking and disappeared, chortling in the dark.

And if you paid close attention, you could have heard his jolly voice roaring in the night: Ho, ho, ho chump! Or was it hump, bump, dump, trump?
Who knows?

‘Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!’

Alain