Au Cochonnet Marin

I am somewhat fluent in the canine language, but even though I consider myself a relatively decent linguist, I still struggle to communicate with my cat.

A dog is easy to read. Hello dog, how are you? A wag of the tail immediately tells me that he understands me and that he is eager to interact with me. With a cat, especially mine, it is quite a different story.

When I say, “hello cat, qué pasa? I am never sure of what the answer will be. She often pretends that she did not hear me, even when she can hear a fly yawn.

“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” Mary Bly

If she looks at me, or if she moves her ears, I know that she heard me, but it does not mean that she is willing to talk. A cat stare, by the way, can be intense, even scary. After many bites and painful scratches, I have learned to read the “look”. When she crouches and stares, watch out. She is like a coiled spring, ready to pounce. It is then better to avert her stare and retreat.

“The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax murderer.” —Comedian Paula Poundstone

After a long cohabitation, I am starting to doubt that this furry beast is really a cat. She looks like a cat but does not behave like one. First, she does not like to be petted or fussed with, and regardless of the circumstances, she never purrs; isn’t this odd? Even suspicious?

She also has weird habits. During the day, she sleeps most of the time, but at night she likes to do some yoga exercises and practice short dashes in the bedroom.

She is a fastidious creature and insists on being let outside every day at daybreak (around 5:30 am). She will harass my wife or me until we let her out. When I say “harass”, I mean it. Or what would call the practice of repeatedly running at full speed over our sleepy bodies? To me, this is definitely harassment.

When I get up in the morning, she waits for me to get dressed, and if she thinks that it takes too long, she will meow to hurry me. When I am finally done, she will guide me down the stairs… and satisfied with her mission she will go back to her mysterious occupations.

To her credit though, she can be kindhearted too. When I had some back surgery a while ago and had to stay in bed for a few days, she never failed to jump on my bed and curl up close to me. I am pretty sure that her solicitude hastened my rehabilitation.

So, we have a kind of love-hate relationship. I love her and she (kind of) hates me. A typical romantic relationship, wouldn’t you say?

Alain

“In a fire, between a Rembrandt and a cat, I would save the cat. » Alberto Giacometti

I think that we are fortunate to have a dog park located next to our pétanque field. Why? Well, first I love dogs, and second, these lovable creatures demonstrate every day the need and the virtues of socialization. When they are approaching the park, you can see them pulling on their leashes, in their eagerness to meet and fraternize with their fellow canines.

All living creatures want to mingle. It is a natural need, and there is no worse punishment for anybody than to be in (punitive or not) isolation. In prolonged cases, it can drive a human or even an animal to dementia. It is therefore good, even necessary to regularly leave your lair and socialize with your friends.

“In every province, the chief occupations, in order of importance, are lovemaking, malicious gossip, and talking nonsense.”   Voltaire, 1694-1778, French philosopher & writer

 I totally concur with Monsieur Voltaire, and I agree with most of his observations. He also said, “Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.”

I especially agree with this statement, being very aware that religious scoundrels were instrumental in denying abortion access to innocent fools.

Sex, gossiping, and talking nonsense are the essence of socialization. You seldom meet anybody to discuss the latest situation in Ukraine or the price of gasoline.

Badinage is a more suitable form of conversation, especially when bad news is piling up with each passing day.

You don’t even need to meet anybody to enjoy your outing; you can sit in a café just for un bain de foule and observe the people around you.

“La rue est une musée pour tous!” ― Hergé

A young boy with green hair, a skinny woman covered with tattoos, a stout fellow in a wheelchair, a woman with bouncing boobs, a teenage girl with fat legs and ultra-short shorts, a bunch of old codgers in cycling outfits, a beautiful girl with a bare midriff and tight yoga pants… Men, women, children, dogs, and an occasional accordion player… It is a moveable feast…

Some people come to a café to read a book, or to work with a computer, but I think that this is utterly foolish. You come to a bistro to relax, observe, or eventually meet somebody, not to linger in your bubble.

To sum it up, loneliness and social isolation are highly detrimental to your health. Go out, sit a spell and soak the atmosphere… or fight it out on the pétanque field!

Alain

Last week, to the world’s disbelief, America suffered heinous Supreme Court injustice.

The conservative majority of the American Supreme Court let down America on two major issues: gun control and abortion rights. Two dubious, politically motivated rulings that will ultimately make more victims; dangerous clandestine abortions will flourish, and mass shootings will endure. The blood of all these future victims will remain forever on the hands of the legislators who promulgated those abhorrent rulings.

The fundamental right of a woman to make personal (often painful) choices about her own body has been taken away and will negatively impact thousands of (mainly poor) women. This is an odiously unfair decision, mainly condoned by fossilized chauvinist males, and should be revoked as soon as possible. The sooner the better.

Trump, the maleficent puppet master who engineered this affair bragged about it and naturally took credit for these developments. His name which is already mud to many, will certainly turn into poop and leave his portly body reeking for eternity. Even hell won’t be able to remove that stink.

Now, about the hallowed Second Amendment. God did not hand down the Constitution to America, and there is absolutely nothing that prevents legislators from modifying its context. In view of recent mass shootings, most everybody agrees that it should be done, but the will of big anonymous donors still prevails.

Despite some publicity, nothing significant has been changed about gun control. Just a few band-aids ignoring the elephant in the room: the murderous automatic assault rifle.

Almost anybody in America is still allowed to buy those killing machines, and enough ammunition to mow down an entire school.
Where is common sense?

To the glee of Vladimir Putin (Public Enemy No1), these highly controversial rulings will increase social unrest throughout America and make it easier for Extremists to take over an already frail democracy.

Shame, shame to a partial, tainted Supreme Court that ignored justice and popular will.

Alain