The Living Dead

Here we are. Twenty thirteen. A brand new year. But like most Americans I have few reasons for being optimistic.
America is facing a lot of pressing problems and with an ever-deadlocked Congress I don’t see even a flicker of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

Prior to being blissfully retired, I worked for a large corporation.
Every year I went through a “Performance Evaluation”.
I was given pen and pencil and asked to list my accomplishments for the year past. Based on those results I would or would not receive a pay raise. In case of really bad performance I could even face dismissal.

Unfortunately (sigh) this philosophy doesn’t seem to apply to our political fauna.
Regardless of their (meager) accomplishments, politicians are forever seeking reelection, without ever having their record scrutinized.

We need to understand that a politician’s Number One job is getting reelected. And this requires a lot of time and money. While trying to protect their job, politicians can’t waste their time dealing with national issues.
They will get reelected mainly by providing Pork for their constituency and by stonewalling issues like gun control, healthcare, etc.

If I had my way, any politician running for reelection would be required to make public the list of his achievements. For instance, how many bills did you sponsor last year? None? Interesting…
If those accomplishments were judged below par, the candidate would be disqualified from running again.

Lately, public perception of Congress has been extremely negative. Many people call it the Congress of the Living Dead.

According to Wikipedia, in 2006 members of Congress received a yearly salary of $165,200. Congressional leaders were paid $183,500 per year and the Speaker of the House of Representatives earned $212,100 annually.
And I am not even talking about perks!

That’s a lot of moola for subpar performance and unabashed junket trips (enjoyed by government officials at public expense).

In an ideal world, those incompetent hacks would be shown the door and asked to never show their faces again.

But politicians are a resilient kind.
After having been kicked out of Congress, many politicians focus on lucrative careers as lobbyists.
They are indeed the Living Dead. No matter how many times you kill them, they’ll come out of their graves to haunt you again.

So one more time, put ideologies aside and demand tangible results from your elected officials.
And compromise (regardless of what Tea Party zealots have been saying) has never been a dirty word.

Alain

 

Forwarding baloney

My mother used to say, “If it is in the newspaper, it must be true”.
Wrong! Utterly wrong!
Unfortunately, my mother (like many people of her generation) was very gullible.
If it was in the newspaper or even on the radio, it had to be the gospel truth.
Those educated people wouldn’t lie to you, she would say.
Well Mother, they did and they still do.

Keep in mind that any piece of writing (like this one) can be distorted, misquoted, or attributed to somebody else.
The same goes for the Internet. And there is practically no censure out there. It is up to you to decide what is accurate, what is misleading or what is worth forwarding.

Many people seem to be predisposed to believe gossips. Any gossip. And the juicier, the better.
Upon receiving something particularly outrageous, some people cannot wait to send a copy of that piece of baloney to all their “friends”.
They copy all their acquaintances (could be as many as fifty) and click the “forward button”. That piece of no-sense then flies over the Internet to promptly land into your mailbox.

Two things, right away.
Before forwarding anything to anybody, check the author and the accuracy of whatever you receive.
It is very easy.

Copy, and then paste the first sentence of any article into the search window of your browser.
Any reference to that sentence will generate a bunch of links, and it will be up to you to pass judgment as to the veracity of that document.
If you are satisfied with the author and the accuracy of the document, you can (carefully) forward it to somebody else.

But for crying out loud, don’t send this to a bunch of people using the Cc: (carbon copy) format. Doing this will expose the names and e-mail addresses of all the recipients to the prying eyes of Internet malfeasants.
They will harvest a maximum of names and addresses and sell them to eager buyers. Don’t be surprised to then be inundated with spam or even more dangerous schemes.

If you send a document to more than 3 people, absolutely use the Bcc: (blind carbon copy) format.
This way the names and addresses of the recipients won’t be visible to the other receivers and won’t put their addresses at risk.

Third, refrain from forwarding anything to more than your 3 BFF’s (Best Friend Forever).
Most of the time what you are forwarding is inaccurate and only plays in the hands of criminals and hate mongers.

Practice good Net etiquette, always use Bcc: utilize “forward” very very sparingly and never ever include my name in a mass mailing operation!

Thank you.

Alain

 

You’ve got mail!

A Priest and a Rabbi (yes, always them) who had been friends for years were always arguing the fine points of their respective religions.
One day as they were riding in a car, a drunk driver cut them off. Their car flew off the road, rolled five times end over end, and came to rest on its roof. The Priest and Rabbi crawled out of the wreckage and were amazed to find out that they were still alive.
As the Priest crossed himself, he noticed the Rabbi doing the same.
The Priest shouted excitedly “Praise Be! You’ve seen the Light!”
“What?” asked the Rabbi
“You crossed yourself. You have seen the True Way! This is wonderful.”
“Cross myself?? No, no. I was just checking to see if everything was still in the right places: Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Cell phone.

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I must admit that I was unaware of the practical side of the sign of the cross, and even though I am a non-believer, I would recommend this practice to absent-minded people.

As I have said in the past, snail mail is slowly giving way to electronic mail, and soon the “facteur” (sorry Jean-Michel) will be a Norman Rockwell relic of the past.
Nowadays, you would be utterly irresponsible for not checking your electronic mail, just as you do your regular mail.
And using a smartphone to do this is the easiest way to deal with this routine.

So, check your e-mail (not once in a while like some of you do), but every morning, religiously.
Crossing yourself would definitely help forgetful people and allow them to remain in tune with the rest of the world.
If you don’t, you could be missing some important stuff like the change of venue of Sarafian’s birthday party or the date of the next Doomsday.

I know that when you are getting older you sometimes forget to zip up your pants, but neglecting to check your e-mail could have more serious consequences.
Somebody could be trying to reach you regarding a life or death situation, or there could be some monstrous traffic jam 2 miles ahead of you.

Either way it would greatly behoove you to check your electronic mailbox on a timely basis to stay in tune with what’s happening around you.

“Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore…”

Pax vobiscum my children!

Alain