Arracheur de dents

Cela avait commencé par une légère douleur dans le coté droit de ma mâchoire supérieure.
Puis la peine est devenue plus intense, et c’est finalement a contrecœur que j’ai pris rendez-vous avec mon dentiste.

Depuis ma tendre enfance, j’ai toujours été bercé par un préjugé populaire contre les arracheurs de dents. « Menteur comme un arracheur de dents » disait-on.
Cette engeance n’avait pas bonne réputation. Des fréquentations à éviter disaient les bonnes gens.
Mais pour l’absolution il faut passer par la confession.

Visite donc chez mon tortionnaire attitré.

Apres quelques rayons X et un examen de la dent coupable,  « Vous avez un  abcès sous la dent » me dit-il. Il va falloir procéder à un canal dentaire.
Un canal dentaire ! Pourquoi pas une ablation de la rate ?
Zut, crotte et flûte !

Je ne crois pas être un cas unique et j’avoue avoir certaines phobies.
L’introduction d’instruments acérés dans ma bouche par exemple en est une.
Tout mon être se révolte à l’idée de cette procédure contre nature.

Mais la peine est là, et il faut faire quelque chose. Mieux vaut une souffrance temporaire qu’une douleur permanente.

dent2

Je donne donc le feu vert a notre homme et il entreprend l’opération.
Au bout d’une demi-heure il s’interrompt et me dit « vous avez une dent fêlée, je ne peux pas continuer l’opération »
Gottverdamnt !

Il va falloir arracher la dent me dit-il, et ensuite mettre un bridge ou un implant dentaire.
On ne m’a jamais arraché une dent, et le souvenir de quelques photos dans de vieux magazines jaunis n’est pas là pour me rassurer.

Laissez-moi réfléchir lui dis-je.

Je délais l’échéance autant que possible et je me décide finalement a faire le grand saut.

A l’heure H je me présente chez le dentiste et il me sent nerveux.
N’ayez pas peur, vous ne sentirez rien me dit-il.
Ne disent-ils pas tous cela? Pourquoi est-ce que je ne le crois pas ?

On m’installe sur la table d’opération.
Voulez-vous du Valium ? me demande l’homme en blanc.
Absolument.

Pendant qu’il va chercher les pilules magiques, je regarde autour de moi.
A ma droite, un petit plateau avec une douzaine d’instruments pointus et recourbés ; ils semblent me narguer.

Le dentiste revient. Il sera assisté par un jeune homme grand et costaud.
Son rôle sera probablement de me maîtriser si je rue dans les brancards. Comme dans les asiles.
J’avale le Valium comme on avalerait une hostie.

On me badigeonne la gencive avec une sorte d’anesthésiant.
Viennent ensuite quelques piqures. Je ne sens presque rien.

Attendons que cela prenne effet dit le dentiste qui disparaît hors de mon champ de vision.

Quand je suis cuit a point, mes tortionnaires réapparaissent.
Ils me donnent des lunettes noires.
Bien, je préfère ne rien voir et je préférerais aussi ne rien entendre.

Ouvrez la bouche !

J’obtempère et les deux acolytes se mettent à la besogne.

Bruits divers. Inquiétants. On m’étire la bouche dans toutes les directions. On farfouille dans mon gosier.
Etonnamment, je ne sens pas grand-chose.
Le Valium et l’anesthésie locale font bien leur travail.

Je vais maintenant utiliser un marteau me dit le dentiste.
Un marteau ? Est-ce que j’ai bien entendu ?
Good Lord !

Je sens des chocs répétés sur ma gencive.
Je pense à Lady Macbeth. « Out damned spot ! » Out damned tooth !

Les bruits finalement s’arrêtent.
Je tâte délicatement ma mâchoire supérieure du bout de la langue. Là où il y avait une dent, je ne sens plus qu’un vide.
By George, the tooth is gone!

Nous allons maintenant suturer tout ça me dit le dentiste.
Allez-y maestro !

Mais l’anesthésie s’estompe et je commence à sentir les piqures du fil et de l’aiguille.
Les points de suture s’avèrent plus douloureux que l’opération.
Je gémis doucement.
Nouvelle piqure dans la gencive. La peine s’atténue.

Encore dix minutes.

On me met de la gaze dans la bouche pour arrêter le saignement.
Voilà, c’est terminé.

Mon dentiste me prescrit du Vicodin pour la douleur qui reviendra certainement après que les effets de l’anesthésie auront disparus.
J’espère que j’en n’aurai pas besoin, mais ça me rassure.

Il va maintenant falloir que je revienne pour l’implant dentaire.
Je n’aime pas l’idée, mais je crois que le plus dur est fait.
J’ai meilleur opinion des dentistes.

Alain

 

 

Open Sesame!

I am always willing to help somebody with a hardware or software problem but nothing frustrate me more than people who seem to be unable to keep track of their passwords (plural).
When queried about such animals, they blush, stammer and look at me as if I just uttered some indecent proposal.

Then they start riffling trough a drawer filled with rubber bands, paper clips, half chewed-up Snicker bars and hastily scribbled notes.
Finally they lamely confess that they have no idea where or what the darned things could be.

Today, if you a have a computer, you will eventually be prodded to choose passwords, so you should be prepared for this eventuality.

IMG_1260 - Version 2A password is basically a key that will allow you to unlock a safe place.
With no key available, the space will fill with cobwebs and soon become unusable.
You will have to wait a hundred years for your Prince Charming to show up and bring it back to life.

In our highly computerized world it is absolutely essential to have some system that will keep track of your passwords. And I said “passwords” for you shouldn’t use the same single password for all your transactions.
The best way to keep your secret codes under control is to use a software package that will do the maintenance for you.

Personally I use “Dashlane” and I find it pretty handy.
It will also keep your passwords securely on your Smartphone.
With Dashlane you only need to remember one single password and when entered, this “key” will unlock all the other passwords that you have stashed away.

This password of course should be difficult to guess and kept securely, like a strongbox combination or the key to a chastity belt.
It should be a combination of at least 7 characters and should include uppercases, lowercases, punctuation marks, numbers and letters.

Just in case, you should also keep a hard copy of all your passwords.
If your machine balks or goes on strike, you should be able to access all your accounts through another computer by referring to this handy cheat sheet.

Don’t call me unless you follow my advice.

Alain

 

May 11, 2013 tournament

Yesterday I teamed up with my good friend Alain Marchand to compete in the LPM Select Doubles tournament.
So it was Alain and Alain against the world.

But before I go any further, let me give you a little background on the Alains.
According to Wikipedia, the Alains were nomadic horsemen probably native of the Caucasus (today’s Ossetia).

“Roman historian-soldier Ammien Marcellin describes their physical appearance as follows: they are tall, have moderately blonde hair, sport a martial look and are more civilized in the way they dress and feed than the Huns.

The Alains are bellicose and audacious: their ferociousness and the rapidity of their attacks have nothing to envy to the Huns. They ignore slavery and despise weak and older people. They despise the oldsters because for them it is an honor to die in battle, but a disgrace to die from old age.”

As you can see, this is a pretty accurate description of our team and the way we behaved on the field.

But back to the tournament.

In spite of initial fears, parking was not a major problem.
The weather was extremely nice, though a little muggy in late afternoon.
The field was impeccably groomed thanks to Christine Cragg, Claudie Chourré, Emily Etcheverry, Charlie Davantes and Dave Riffo.
Thank you all.

The tournament was run by Dave Riffo and Liv Kraft. Merci beaucoup to both of you.

Eighteen select teams  participated in this event and they were as follows:

  1. Steve Jones & Christine Jones
  2. Holly Sammons & Shannon Bowman
  3. Dave Riffo & Bleys Rose
  4. Charlie Davantes & Paul Kos
  5. Jacques Sarafian & Rene Di Maio
  6. Jocelyne Krauer & Eva Lofaro
  7. Antoine Lofaro & Jean Krauer
  8. Alain Marchand & Alain Efron
  9. Wolfie & Hans Kurz
  10. Carolina Jones & Jacques Lecouturier
  11. Henry Wessel & Dan Velasco
  12. Patrick Vaslet & Jean-Claude Bunand
  13. Mark Greenberg & Teri Sirico
  14. Carlos Couto & Etienne Rijkheer
  15. Erin McTaggart & Barbara Hall
  16. Bernard Passmar & Jesn-Michel Poulnot
  17. Colette Van Der Meulen & Antonia
  18. Alain Gusella & Mireille Di Maio

Three games were played before lunch, which might have been a little too many.
We had lunch around 1:00 p.m. due to the fact that some people took forever to complete their games.
In pétanque as in many things, less is more. Less talking and more playing that is.

By the way, I don’t claim to be impartial. I am an opinionated columnist first (with my own biases) and a journalist second. So I call them as I feel them and as I see them.

Since I opted to compete in this tournament, it was rather difficult for me to take pictures and play at the same time, hence the paucity of action pictures.
I will try harder next time, or maybe not play.
It was also difficult for me to keep track of the tournament as a whole since I was involved in so many games.

The only thing that I can report accurately is the performance of my own team, which was as follows:

In the morning we played 3 qualifying games:

1st game against Colette and Antonia
We won 13-11
To be noted, the excellent performance of Colette. She surprised me by shooting (with Antonia’s blessing) and hitting her target quite a few times. Bravo Colette!

2nd game against Barbara and Erin
We lost 8-13
Both excellent players.

3rd game against Carolina and Jacques Lecouturier
We won 13-1
By the way Carolina, you are a true petanque fan and I love the plates on your car.

We then qualified for the Concours.

In the afternoon, Concours and elimination games:

4th game against Holly and Shannon
Both excellent players, but unlucky this time.
We won 13-2

5th game against Patrick Vaslet and Jean-Claude Bunand
We won 13-3

6th game against Alain Gusella and Mireille Di Maio
We lost 5-13
Accurate shooting from Alain G. and good performance from Mireille.
But I think that there were too many Alains in this game, and our team might have lost due to an Alain unbalance.
In a game, one Alain is good, two Alains is excellent, but three Alains (like too much oil) spoil the mayonnaise.

In our 7th game (competing for 3rd place in the Concours) we faced Barbara Hall and Erin McTaggart again.
Lost again 8-13 (same score as in our first game).
My partner (Alain Marchand) did an excellent shooting job and surprised many (me included) by long and accurate “au fer” shots.

Useless to say that after seven games I felt rather pooped (was it just me?) and aspired to go home and put my feet up. Which I did as quickly as I could.

The final results were as follows:

Consolante:

1st place: Mark Greenberg and Teri Sirico, $15.00 ea
2nd place: Etienne Rijkheer and Carlos Couto, $11.00 ea
3rd place: David Riffo and Bleys Rose, $7.00 ea

Concours:

1st place: Alain Gusella and Mireille Di Maio, $35.00 ea
2nd place: Antoine Lofaro and Jean Krauer, $25.00 ea
3rd place: Erin McTaggart and Barbara Hall, $15.00 ea

Congratulations to all!

Alain

PS: To look at pictures of this event, turn the sound on, click on the “Home” link at the top of the page, and click again on “My photos” located on the right side of the page.

 

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