Pedestrians’ arrogance

When crossing the street, they are so imbued with their righteousness that they are even willing to risk their lives to make their point.
They will step in front on a moving car and cross the street with a deliberate slow pace while giving you a telepathic finger.

This is why I hate pedestrians. Bullfighting pedestrians that is. I stop for animals and considerate citizens, but I’d rather not stop for “agents provocateurs”.

pedestrians runningWhen a bull snorts, it is far wiser to pause than to taunt him. And so should a pedestrian when he sees an approaching car. If you show the bull respect, he will respond in kind. And so will drivers.
But if you are disrespectful, the bull is likely to be offended. And an angry bull is not something to be trifled with.

I don’t care for violence, but (just once) I would love to see one of those arrogant bastards sent flying across the hood of a car.

The pedestrians’ implied threat is always “If you even graze me, I will sue the pants off of you”, but what good is the suit going to do for somebody with multiple fractures, internal bleeding and twenty-five minutes left to live?
You need to be physically and mentally fit to enjoy the fruits of your “righteousness”.
You should therefore never step in front of a moving vehicle. Regardless of what the law says. Duh!

I love the Pamplona Bull Run.
It is a place in Spain where bulls have cojones and where stupid pedestrians get their comeuppance. If they don’t get out of the way, the bulls will do it for them.
A 1500-pound bull will show a 150-pound weakling who has the right of way.
And sue me says the bull, but before you do that, I’ll stick my horns in your butt to remind you that “might makes right”.

If you crave excitement, join the marines or bungee jump from the Golden Gate Bridge, but stop harassing already overstressed drivers.

Alain

 

 

Les emmerdeurs

La vie, vous ne pouvez le nier, est une aventure hasardeuse, souvent difficile à gérer. C’est un parcours du combattant perpétuel avec des récifs a droite, des écueils a gauche, de la brume au dessus et des oubliettes au dessous.

2796726Mais à part les obstacles naturels, il y a aussi les obstacles surnaturels: les emmerdeurs (ET les emmerdeuses)… ces créatures de légende échappés de la boite de Pandore, et dont le seul but sur terre est d’empoisonner la vie de leurs congénères.

On les nomme, dépendant de leur milieu, des empêcheurs de tourner en rond… des casse-pieds… des enquiquineurs… des peine-a-jouir… des coincés-du-cul…

Que ce soit à la poste, à la banque, ou au confessionnel, ces individus quand ils occupent un guichet, essayent de le conserver aussi longtemps qu’il est humainement possible.
Ils s’accoudent au comptoir (certains marquent même leur territoire à la façon canine) et commencent un interminable débat souvent interrompu par des coups de téléphone.

L’emmerdeur (souvent né par césarienne parce que questionnant la voie traditionnelle) est une personne qui n’est jamais satisfaite des réponses ou des services reçus.
La devise de l’emmerdeur est « j’y suis, j’y reste » et l’on ne peut le déloger de sa place qu’a coups de pied au cul ou à coups de baïonnette dans les reins.

Quand tout semble baigner dans l’huile, quand luit le beau blond, il est quasiment  inévitable de buter sur un de ces énergumènes.
Que ce soit à la poste, à la banque, a l’aéroport, Il y a toujours un %# @^ sur votre chemin.

A quoi reconnaît-on ces pisse-froid?

Ils sont généralement nantis d’une tête de lion, d’un corps de chèvre, d’une queue de dragon et crachent du feu.
Certains cependant préfèrent prendre des apparences humaines.

Comment se débarrasser de ces chimères?
Un peu de la façon dont on se débarrasse des vampires.
Avec un crucifix, un pieu et un marteau.

On accule d’abord l’emmerdeur dans un coin en brandissant le crucifix.
On lui enfonce ensuite promptement le pieu dans le cœur et on lui remplit la bouche d’ail.
Pour le mettre définitivement hors d’état de nuire il serait bon aussi de lui couper la tête.

Ces simples mesures devraient suffire à se débarrasser d’un emmerdeur.
Si cela ne suffit pas, je recommande le lance-flammes, béni auparavant avec par un végétarien.

La vérité si je mens !

Alain

Of people and clerics

Egypt has a new (interim) president. Good.
Good riddance of those two-faced Islamic Jesuits who ruled the country for more than a year!
Their legacy: disenchantment and alienation from all major segments of the population.
It is a good thing that the opposition managed to overthrow the Islamists before they had the time to completely stifle dissent and enslave the entire country.

Most politicians are demagogues… that is the only way they can get elected.
Always talking out of both sides of their mouths… telling people what they long to hear.
They will advocate different agendas when addressing different audiences.
Soothing when talking to Jews, rabidly anti-Semitic when talking to Muslims, enthusiastically Buddhist when addressing Buddha’s devotees, etc.
Politicians let’s face it, are nothing but a whoring lot!

Mohamed Morsi was no exception. Sounding conciliatory when talking to some and rabidly intolerant when talking to others.
And one more time, as it is common in Muslim countries, Morsi had religion infringe on the life of its people.
Religion’s motto is and has always been: If you are not with us, you are against us, and if you are against us you don’t deserve to live!
What kind of insanity is this?

But we might have seen the dawn of a new era in Egypt where common sense is finally starting to prevail over religion.
Young men and young women are rebelling against backward traditions and calling for secularism and fairness in government.
No more arbitrary fatwas by out-of-touch clerics!

Any kind of dictatorship (religious or otherwise) will eventually fail, and when this happens the end is often gruesome (see Mussolini, Ceausescu, Khadafi or Saddam Hussein).

But revolutions can be notoriously fickle and unpredictable and nobody knows how it will end.
In order to prevail, the Egyptian “Bolsheviks” (“majority”) need to be fair and pragmatic, but it is always difficult for the victors to be moderate.

The Muslim Brothers had their chance. They blew it.
Time to go! Period!

May Egyptians never let any “pious” bigots ever rule their country again, and may they finally enjoy the proven virtues of secularism.

Amen!

Alain