Au Cochonnet Marin

I have owned my present car for almost a year now, and it still feels like a new romance.

It is good-looking, smart, responsive… and much trendier than my previous vehicle. It sports of course a sophisticated navigation system, with multiple icons… but they are not always straightforward.

Relationships are notoriously tricky, and a smart guy should learn quickly what button to push to please his new girlfriend. But unfortunately, it looks like I am not that clever, and I am still a little overwhelmed by all those buttons.

So, being kind of nerdy, I turned to ChatGPT for advice and asked “What is the best way to deal with a new girlfriend?”And this is what my technical mentor suggested:

1. Communication is key: The most important aspect of any relationship is communication. Talk to your girlfriend openly and honestly about your feelings, expectations, and concerns. Listen to her as well and try to understand her perspective.
2. Be yourself: Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your girlfriend. Be true to yourself and let her get to know the real you.
3. Respect her boundaries: Everyone has their boundaries, so make sure to respect your girlfriend’s. If she’s not comfortable with something, don’t push her.
4. Be supportive: Show your girlfriend that you care about her and her goals. Be there to support her in her endeavors and help her when she needs it.
5. Have fun: Enjoy spending time with your girlfriend and create happy memories together. Do things you both enjoy and try new things together.

OK, got it. Thank you ChatGPT; I will talk, listen, and respect my car’s boundaries. I will be supportive (give it as much gas or care as it wants) and always try to have fun with it.

In retrospect, the main difference between a new car and a new girlfriend is that, although being extremely smart and knowledgeable, a new car will never quarrel with you. This is probably why it is called a “smart” car. It might sulk and refuse to do something, but it will never lose its cool or hold a grudge.

I, on the other hand, can ask my car (always politely of course) to repeat a task, and it will always respond positively. And unlike a new girlfriend, my car will always remain well-disposed towards me.

In closing, I want to thank ChatGPT for its wise suggestions, and I will try my best to keep this romance going for a long time.

Thank you for your attention.

Alain

When I was young and foolish, in the morning I would jump out of bed and attack the day with gusto. Now, after a few decades of constant debauchery, I sit down and have a little conversation with my body before getting up.

– Hello partners, how are we doing this morning?

Grumbles, grumbles, grumbles…

– OK, OK, let’s do a quick assessment. Head, how do you feel?
– A little woozy chief, but OK
– Good. Legs, how are you doing?
– A bit wobbly captain, but ready for action…
– Excellent. I know that I can always count on you.
– Arms, Hands, Fingers what is your condition?
– Ready for action commander.
– Good. Keep up the good work…
– Stomach, are you in a good mood this morning?
– I don’t know… not sure…
– All right Stomach… I understand and sympathize. I will try to take it easy with you today. OK gang, can we make it another day?
– Yes chief.
– Good. It is a unanimous decision… let’s do it!
– Just a minute boss…
– Yes Back, what is it?
– Well, I hate to tell you, but I don’t feel up to the job…
– But you tell me the same thing every morning Back… honestly it is a little irritating…
– I know but I cannot help it… I need attention…
– Listen Back, I sympathize with you, but what else can I do for you? After countless doctor visits, tests, MRIs, surgery, and chiropractic, doctors have absolutely no idea what to do and gave up on you… Come on Back… you can do it… I won’t push you too much… do it for your partners…
– OK, OK, I will do it, but don’t go crazy on me… don’t try anything ridiculous to show off in front of the girls… you are not a spring chicken anymore…
– All right, all right… I promise, no matter what my “любовница” says…
– Don’t listen to her… listen to me… I know much more than she does…
– All right Back, I promise, I will not force you to do anything you cannot do…
– OK bwana, in that case, I will make an extra effort…
– Great! All right gang let’s get up and fight. Let’s show the world what a Tamalou can do.
– Yeah. Let’s make our body great again!
– That’s the spirit! Vamonos amigos!

Alain

Most people in the West agree that Russia’s attack on Ukraine was wicked and criminal. But a large majority of Russians (mainly the uneducated and the elderly) don’t think so. They obediently toe the line advocated by Vladimir Putin. Ukraine is Russian territory and has no business being friendly and doing business with the West.

How could it be that educated, intelligent people believe accept such nonsense?

In today’s Russia, a free, independent press has been totally eradicated. The media is totally controlled by the state which does not allow any dissenting voice. Anyone daring to disagree or protest risks long prison terms, and this prospect is enough to keep everybody quiet.

Propaganda, insane propaganda (trumpeted by a certain Vladimir Solovyov) is saturating the airwaves with hysterical rhetoric and has brainwashed most of the population listening to official channels.

According to mister Solovyov, Ukraine is populated by Nazis, pedophiles, gays and Satanists, and has to be decontaminated. You cannot allow them to exist and continue drifting toward the West. Ukraine is Russian territory, and the Ukrainians have nothing to say about it. Bitter ex-Soviet Union babushkas are eating up this kind of malarkey.

Encyclopedia Britannica defines propaganda as “the dissemination of information—facts, arguments, rumors, half-truths, or lies—to influence public opinion.”

Merriam-Webster says that brainwashing is “a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas. “

 Brainwashing is insidious, and to some extent, we are all brainwashed. We all harbor a set of beliefs often brought up by the repetition of partial, slanted bits of information.

The Germans, the Russians, the Chinese, the Jews, the Muslims, the Democrats, etc. are all monsters never to be believed or trusted. If you meet one of those, don’t even talk to them… they are all crooks and liars…

“If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it. It really is public brainwashing and misinformation.” ~ Robert Kane Pappas

 People believe what they want to believe… what they have been conditioned to believe. If you hear or read the same lies again and again, you cannot help being influenced. The Nazis, and the Communists were brainwashed, and to a large extent, so is today the Russian population.

It is an immense tragedy, and this willingness to remain silent and condone a catastrophic war is tragic. The sooner Russian citizens revolt and adopt a drastic change of regime, the better.

Alain