Au Cochonnet Marin

I have long wanted to shed a few pounds, and with the holidays fast approaching I aspired to look my best on Thanksgiving, Christmas or birthday snapshots. Who doesn’t?
But as you all very well know, losing weight is a tad more difficult than crossing the Red Sea.

Disappointed with previous meager results, I resolved to use magic to reach my goal. Like a sorcerer’s apprentice I decided to experiment with supernatural forces.
By harnessing these forces I managed to slim down my already impressive figure.

How did I manage this feat?
Did I use weird diets, strange potions or dark incantations? No, not at all.
To obtain the desired results, I endeavored to unlock the mysteries of Photoshop and its first cousin, Photoshop Elements.

I struggled for a while, but now with a few strokes of a virtual brush, I can enlarge boobs, shrink asses, slim down rotund people and remove ex-lovers from old pictures.

Due to its complexity, Photoshop is not easy to master, but the results can be impressive.
With Photoshop I can neatly place my own head on top of a young Schwarzenegger’s body or put any woman’s face on Sonia’s (Vergara) curvaceous anatomy.
I can change the color of your clothes, make your skin look as smooth as a baby’s bottom and (for a price) make somebody totally disappear.

Did this newfound power go to my head? Am I going like Vladimir Putin ride a horse bare-chested or wrestle a polar bear?
No. It is not my style. I will remain the humble, cool pétanque player I have always been.

But do not cross me. If you do, I can cut you down to size with a few strokes of my magic wand.
On my photo albums (seen the world over I might add) you could end up with Chris Christie’s body or Jocelyn Wildenstein’s (the Bride of Frankenstein) head.
Shudder!!!

So beware, I now have a nuclear option at my disposal and I am not afraid to use it.

Alain

 

I have now been playing pétanque regularly for the last 12 years.
Thanks to the game I have met a lot of people.
But I am the first to admit that I am not good at remembering names; I go around this shortcoming by using cheat-sheets.
Since I am a photographer, I frequently use people’s snapshots to jog my memory and put a name on a face.

I don’t think I am alone in this respect. Out of sight, out of mind goes the saying.
If you don’t see people on a regular basis, their faces tend to fade away.

It is for this reason that I decided to put together a book featuring various Bay Area pétanque players. To keep memories alive.

This album is also a paean to pétanque. One of its purposes is to display exciting pictures of the game and incite undecided individuals to join our brotherhood.

I chose the books’ pictures according to certain criteria.
First and foremost, I wanted to feature “action shots”.
I wanted to showcase the excitement of the game by focusing on players in action, and by showing “boules” standing dramatically still in the air for a fraction of a second before streaking towards their targets.

Next, I wanted to feature people displaying a “good form”, an elegant demonstration of athletic ability.
I think that an elegant stance is easier on the eye than an awkward one.

Finally, I wanted the pictures to be well focused and devoid of annoying shadows.
Not as easy as you might think.

With advancing age, older players start coming to the field less frequently until one day they completely stop coming.
And then they trek to the great pétanque field in the sky.

With each passing day, their memory becomes fuzzier and fuzzier until one day we struggle to remember them at all.
This colorful book makes it is easier to identify and reminisce about the present and the sometimes forgotten players of yesteryear.

Winston Churchill said, “History is written by the victors”.

Personally I believe that it is photographers who report history most accurately and through their pictures, make the most lasting impression.
Hence, this collection of images.

Alain

PS: To look at photos of people included in this book, click on “My Photos“.

PS2: If you would like to obtain a copy of this book please let me know.

 

I am an addict. I confess.
I cannot go three days in a row without succumbing to my wickedness.

I am hooked on photography. I MUST take photographs! That’s it, I have said it!
Wherever I go I usually carry a camera; it enables me to indulge my vice with reckless abandon.

Since the advent of digital photography one can literally shoot (and waste) hundreds of pictures in a single day.
The number of pictures taken (once restricted by films) is now only limited by the storage capacity of the camera’s flash memory card.
With the price of SD cards plummeting, just about anybody can now afford 8GB and even 16GB cards, even in point and shoot cameras.

But gluttony has a price.
Recently I noticed that my photo program (iPhoto) was getting sluggish.
It occurred to me that this problem could be related to the amount of pictures stored on my hard disk.
Last time I checked, I discovered that I was storing over 13,500 photographs on my hard drive.

My computer sports a Christie-like stomach. A girth of one terabyte (1000 gigabytes) to be precise.
In order to be more responsive my machine had to lose weight.
But diets are not easy. To be successful you have to forsake something that you love and as the song says “breaking up is hard to do.”

Discarding photographs is always a hard decision. They are your babies and it is always difficult to part with them.
You keep some pictures for their exceptional quality, but you also keep many (not so good pictures) for sentimental reasons.

In iPhoto, pictures are grouped by “events”, the day that the pictures were taken.
I went through each event with a Javert-like determination to cull my herd.

After a week of hard work I have discarded close to 1500 shots. I think that my machine is now lighter on its feet but I have to watch myself.
A relapse is always possible. I could fall off the wagon anytime and start shooting recklessly again.
I just have to be careful and above all, avoid binging.

If you are cute or unusually fetching, don’t tempt me. For my mental health and for my computer’s sake avoid my field of vision.

Thank you for your understanding.

Alain