Revolutionary day in Sonoma

Last Sunday, people gathered in Sonoma to celebrate Bastille Day, the 224th anniversary of the French Revolution, and incidentally to play a little pétanque.
They came in throngs ready to feast and to compete.
I estimated the crowd to be around 150 people, without counting babies, children and dogs.
People came from all over the Bay Area and there were many faces that I didn’t recognize. I apologize if I didn’t remember you and didn’t greet you properly.

The weather was perfect throughout the day, not too hot and not too cool.

The VOMPC did an excellent job of organizing the event. They even rented tables and chairs to accommodate such a large crowd.
Thinking of that, it would have been nice to let people know about this so that nobody would have had to schlep chairs and tables to the field. Next time maybe.

The tournament managers were able to put together 28 triplettes, that is 84 players.
The tournament started around 10:00 a.m. and two games were to be played before lunch.
I personally opted not to play to concentrate on taking pictures, for it is almost impossible to do both. I took a lot of snapshots and out of almost 300 shots I published about a hundred of them.
You can look at them by clicking on “My photos” on the right side of this blog.

The lunch was prepared by chef Christine Piccin and her crew, and the music was provided by the Due Zighi Baci duo.

IMG_2004Around lunchtime we were treated as usual to an enthusiastic (if slightly off-key) rendition of La Marseillaise by none other than Le Facteur (aka Jean-Michel Poulnot).
That was fine and dandy, but I still wonder why he kept brandishing a golden phallus during his entire performance?
Is there something about the French Revolution that I didn’t know?

There was also another rendition of La Marseillaise by another gentleman.
It was OK, but in my often partial opinion it didn’t match the enthusiastically bloodthirsty spirit of The Postman’s performance.

After lunch the tournament continued and I spotted some episodes that I never saw before. I witnessed a seemingly insecure dog accompanying his mistress each step she took on the field, and a determined mother crouching and pointing while carrying a baby in her arms.
Could you do that? I couldn’t.
Pétanque wonders will never cease.

Thank you Valley of the Moon Pétanque Club for a job well done and an excellent day.

Alain

PS: To look at pictures of this event, turn the sound on, click on the “Home” link at the top of the page, and click again on “My photos” located on the right side of the page.

 

Pedestrians’ arrogance

When crossing the street, they are so imbued with their righteousness that they are even willing to risk their lives to make their point.
They will step in front on a moving car and cross the street with a deliberate slow pace while giving you a telepathic finger.

This is why I hate pedestrians. Bullfighting pedestrians that is. I stop for animals and considerate citizens, but I’d rather not stop for “agents provocateurs”.

pedestrians runningWhen a bull snorts, it is far wiser to pause than to taunt him. And so should a pedestrian when he sees an approaching car. If you show the bull respect, he will respond in kind. And so will drivers.
But if you are disrespectful, the bull is likely to be offended. And an angry bull is not something to be trifled with.

I don’t care for violence, but (just once) I would love to see one of those arrogant bastards sent flying across the hood of a car.

The pedestrians’ implied threat is always “If you even graze me, I will sue the pants off of you”, but what good is the suit going to do for somebody with multiple fractures, internal bleeding and twenty-five minutes left to live?
You need to be physically and mentally fit to enjoy the fruits of your “righteousness”.
You should therefore never step in front of a moving vehicle. Regardless of what the law says. Duh!

I love the Pamplona Bull Run.
It is a place in Spain where bulls have cojones and where stupid pedestrians get their comeuppance. If they don’t get out of the way, the bulls will do it for them.
A 1500-pound bull will show a 150-pound weakling who has the right of way.
And sue me says the bull, but before you do that, I’ll stick my horns in your butt to remind you that “might makes right”.

If you crave excitement, join the marines or bungee jump from the Golden Gate Bridge, but stop harassing already overstressed drivers.

Alain

 

 

Les emmerdeurs

La vie, vous ne pouvez le nier, est une aventure hasardeuse, souvent difficile à gérer. C’est un parcours du combattant perpétuel avec des récifs a droite, des écueils a gauche, de la brume au dessus et des oubliettes au dessous.

2796726Mais à part les obstacles naturels, il y a aussi les obstacles surnaturels: les emmerdeurs (ET les emmerdeuses)… ces créatures de légende échappés de la boite de Pandore, et dont le seul but sur terre est d’empoisonner la vie de leurs congénères.

On les nomme, dépendant de leur milieu, des empêcheurs de tourner en rond… des casse-pieds… des enquiquineurs… des peine-a-jouir… des coincés-du-cul…

Que ce soit à la poste, à la banque, ou au confessionnel, ces individus quand ils occupent un guichet, essayent de le conserver aussi longtemps qu’il est humainement possible.
Ils s’accoudent au comptoir (certains marquent même leur territoire à la façon canine) et commencent un interminable débat souvent interrompu par des coups de téléphone.

L’emmerdeur (souvent né par césarienne parce que questionnant la voie traditionnelle) est une personne qui n’est jamais satisfaite des réponses ou des services reçus.
La devise de l’emmerdeur est « j’y suis, j’y reste » et l’on ne peut le déloger de sa place qu’a coups de pied au cul ou à coups de baïonnette dans les reins.

Quand tout semble baigner dans l’huile, quand luit le beau blond, il est quasiment  inévitable de buter sur un de ces énergumènes.
Que ce soit à la poste, à la banque, a l’aéroport, Il y a toujours un %# @^ sur votre chemin.

A quoi reconnaît-on ces pisse-froid?

Ils sont généralement nantis d’une tête de lion, d’un corps de chèvre, d’une queue de dragon et crachent du feu.
Certains cependant préfèrent prendre des apparences humaines.

Comment se débarrasser de ces chimères?
Un peu de la façon dont on se débarrasse des vampires.
Avec un crucifix, un pieu et un marteau.

On accule d’abord l’emmerdeur dans un coin en brandissant le crucifix.
On lui enfonce ensuite promptement le pieu dans le cœur et on lui remplit la bouche d’ail.
Pour le mettre définitivement hors d’état de nuire il serait bon aussi de lui couper la tête.

Ces simples mesures devraient suffire à se débarrasser d’un emmerdeur.
Si cela ne suffit pas, je recommande le lance-flammes, béni auparavant avec par un végétarien.

La vérité si je mens !

Alain