“Wait” is a four-letter word!

I absolutely loathe that word!
It sounds the same to me as its close four-letter relative “fuck”.

IMG_2802_edited-2“Wait”, in plain English means “we are not ready for you”.
And why may I ask? Why can’t you take care of me right away? Whose fault is it?

If you are not ready, it is because you didn’t plan well… or because you need more help.
If that is the case, you should hire somebody else…
No? Why not? Is it going to squeeze your profit margin? Is it going to affect your retirement plan?
Perish the thought!

“Wait” is detestable no matter when, where or why.
And it is definitely not a word that you want to hear when you are hauled to Emergency; but more often than not it is what you will be told.

It is surprisingly easy for a comfortably seated person to say that ugly word to somebody writhing in pain.
The clerk is used to suffering, in others.
All the people at the reception desk by the way, are chosen for their thick skin and very few things will trouble them.

Keep in mind that whenever we are told to wait, we are also paying for the privilege of waiting. If the service was “free” (another four-letter word) we wouldn’t mind that much. But most of the time we are paying good money for the pleasure of waiting…

“Your call is important to us…”
Everybody has heard that little ditty and very few people take it well, especially when you have heard it ad nauseam for the last 20 minutes.

If I could relive my life, I would like to do it in world devoid of “wait”.
I would have fewer wrinkles and would look and feel much better than I actually do.

To paraphrase comedian Steven Wright, I might try to take a course in speed waiting so that I can wait one hour in only ten minutes.

If you like me just a little, don’t aggravate my condition; please don’t use four-letter words in my presence.

Alain

Spice it up!

For discriminate palates, food is not just for sustenance; it has to be a pleasurable experience.
And to be enjoyable, food has to be flavorful.

More often than you imagine, it is not. Especially in restaurants.
There is nothing more galling to me than paying good money for bland, or poorly seasoned food.

It seems that many restaurants (probably afraid to offend some wimpy customers) are holding back on seasoning.
It is a mistake.
It is not up to the customer to dictate how the food should taste, it is up to the chef.
A chef’s cooking is his signature, and if you don’t like it, don’t patronize his establishment.

Nobody (discerning people) likes bland food.
Some dishes, especially seafood, need to be seasoned to make them flavorful and various spices and herbs should be used to enhance the character of fish, mussels, prawns and other marine delicacies.

Eva_herzigova_wonderbra_1994Spices are the Wonderbras of food. Their purpose is to uplift and enhance the goods. Without them, everything feels flat.

In many restaurants, numerous dishes are not properly flavored. They are too sweet, too salty, too spicy.
Unfortunately, the journeymen operating in the kitchen seldom take the time to taste what they are preparing.
They might call themselves “cooks” but they are nothing but lowly “food preparation workers” whose main job is to expedite whatever the customer ordered.
This is wrong! Any food preparer worth his salt should taste his concoction.
When I eat “escargots” for instance, I want to taste the garlic or I want my money back!

Once in a while, when the mood strikes, I don my cooking apron and embark on a culinary adventure.
It might be a single dish, but it has to be tasty. And my best tasting utensil is my finger.

I know that there are some squeamish souls out there who would faint at the thought of seeing my finger occasionally dipping into a sauce, but I know that Julia Child or Jacques Pepin (a true professional) would not disavow me for that.

My philosophy is that guests should never be privy to what happens in the kitchen.
If they like the food, they are never going to question the chef’s cooking methods. If they don’t like it, they should!

To sum it up, when preparing a dish, don’t go mechanically through the process. Taste it for crying out loud. Often!

Alain

 

Water

In the civilized world we have always taken water for granted.
But this is about to change. Especially in California.

IMG_6675In winter normally, mountain peaks are covered with snow and it rain significantly in lower altitudes.
This year, for reasons that nobody can clearly explain, it is different

We are in the midst of the driest winter that I can recall and we are staring at the specter of a prolonged drought.
Compounding this dire situation, due to a lack of rain, forest fires are erupting right and left.

Normally, water can be found just about everywhere, in streams, in ponds, in lakes and it is relatively cheap; but when it becomes scarce its importance and value increase exponentially.

The lack of water could easily upset the delicate fabric of society and pit neighbors against neighbors with unforeseen consequences.

In many ways, water can be compared to the bread of yore, which was considered a staple of life.
A scarcity of bread could lead to riots and many times it did.

On the morning of October 5, 1789, thousands of French women marched on Versailles demanding bread. It was the earliest and most significant event of the French Revolution.
Shortly after this, the riots turned into a revolution, leading ultimately to the beheading (January 21, 1793) on the Place de la Révolution of Louis the XVI and a few months later (October 16, 1793), his wife Marie-Antoinette.

Similarly, a severe water shortage could easily degenerate in water riots.

But without even being asked many Californians are starting to change their carefree habits.
They spend less time in the shower and are reducing lawn watering.

Californians have always been at the forefront of the ecology movement and I am pretty sure that they will do their bit to stave off the water problem.

To cover all fronts though, it would not hurt to pressure a Fainéant Congress to perform a non-partisan rain dance.
It is part of their job to provide federal help.

If worse comes to worse, since we have a significant wine surplus in California, why not use this surplus to flush our toilet tanks, and taking showers?
Every little bit helps…

Alain