La Grande Bouffe

Here we go again. It is Turkey Day!

On Thanksgiving Day, everybody in America, rich or poor, must chomp on roasted turkey.
It is served everywhere, in restaurants, in army barracks, in homeless shelters, in private homes.
It would be positively un-American not to eat turkey.

Thanksgiving is an American national holiday celebrated each year on the fourth Thursday of November.
It commemorates the harvest festival originally celebrated by the Pilgrims in 1621.
Even though it has its roots in religious traditions it is now mainly celebrated in a secular way.

It was Abraham Lincoln by the way who declared Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1863.

To turkeys though, Thanksgiving is not a happy occasion.
It is known as Black Thursday! It is not a day of celebration but a day of mourning.
When talking about it, they like to paraphrase a fellow chicken that famously said:
“He may be Colonel Sanders to you, but he’s Adolph Eichmann to us!”

America being a nation of immigrants celebrates Thanksgiving in many different ways.
Due to different ethnicities, Americans spice up the traditional dinner with dishes that often originated in foreign countries.
I have no doubt that Mexican-American families incorporate native dishes into their menu. So do Scandinavians or Japanese.
Similarly Russian-Americans flavor the dinner with vodka, caviar and plenty of zakuski and pirozhki.

IMG_2152

But no matter how you look at it, Thanksgiving is a day of excess. A belt-busting extravaganza where calories counting is piously ignored.
As the French would call it, it is a Grande Bouffe (a great stuffing day).
Many Americans (probably out of puritan guilt) renew their health club membership the next day.

Although an American holiday, Thanksgiving is now celebrated in many parts of the world.
In Canada, it is held on the second Monday in October.

In Germany they celebrate The Harvest Thanksgiving Festival, Erntedankfest, in early October.

In Japan, they observe Labor Thanksgiving Day (Kinrō Kansha no Hi). It is a national holiday Japan and it takes place annually on November 23.
This tradition was adopted during the American occupation after World War II but it also has roots in an ancient harvest ceremony (Niiname-sai ) celebrating hard work and production.

Little by little, Thanksgiving is also conquering Europe.

In Paris, in the Marais district, there is a grocery store called, what else, Thanksgiving, where homesick Americans can purchase all they need for their dining feast.

But turkey is not really my dish of choice.
If I had my way, I would put “pâté de campagne”, pheasant, truffles and Tarte Tatin on the menu.
The Pilgrims might have frowned on it, but the Indians (especially the Hurons, Delawares and Shawnees) would have understood.

Za vashe zdorovie, you all!

Alain

Now you see it, now you don’t

iphone-appsToday a smartphone is a prized technological wonder that is one’s most treasured possession.
Nobody (especially the younger set) would think of leaving home without it.
It is an expensive item coveted by many and always arousing envy.

It is also the favorite target of “snatch thieves” the “rob and run” street crime artists.
Considering its value, you would think that people would be careful about protecting it.
But such is not the case.

Many people are walking, eyes glued to the magic little screen, totally oblivious to their surroundings.
This is when the snatch thief strikes.
A quick grab and your baby is gone. Smartnapped!
Adieu, veau, vache, cochon!
And your chances of getting it back are practically nil.
This is unfortunate.

But yesterday as I was departing a coffee shop I witnessed something that left me shaking my head in disbelief.
In a case of supreme carelessness somebody left his/her car keys and his/her smartphone unattended on a table located outside a coffee shop.
This person probably went inside to fetch something, but how could anybody be so incredibly careless?
I don’t know what happened next, but leaving such valued possessions on the table is an open invitation to theft.
Take me please… I beg you.

Losing a smartphone is one thing, but losing the data that is stored on your device is a more serious matter.
For some, their entire lives reside on the gizmo.
Contacts, phone numbers, e-mail addresses, photos, confidential messages… everything is now in the hands of the thief.
Somebody is about to break into your inner sanctum.
Just think of the ramifications!

But help is on the way.
Governor Jerry Brown just signed a law requiring manufacturers to put a “kill switch” for remote deactivation on their devices.
Starting July 1, 2015, all phones sold in California must have an anti-theft feature that would render stolen devices inoperable.

That is good news, but until the law is implemented, your smartphone (and your personal life) is at risk.
Put it on a leash. Guard it with your life, or delete (hum…) everything that is confidential on it.
Especially those questionable pictures.

Alain

Virginity test

I was flabbergasted to read that In Indonesia (the world’s most populous Muslim country) a woman must pass a “virginity test” to become a police officer.
And nothing scientific about this degrading assessment mind you.

indo-MMAP-md

According to The Guardian, an Indonesian police spokesman declared, “the exam was used to establish whether applicants have a sexually transmitted infection. “
This is the most sexist and asinine statement that I ever heard!

Even if a police officer was afflicted with a sexually transmitted disease, what does it have to do with police work?
Are the people in charge afraid that the new female recruits would go on a sexual rampage and infect the entire police force?

In addition, all females must “follow a recognized religion”, be single and not marry until several years after entering the force.

Again, what does religion and virginity have to do with police work? And why does this so-called “test” pertain to women only?
Why aren’t male police officers also required to be virgins?
It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

I don’t know why some people are so obsessed with this overrated virginity business.
Virginity is often equated with being naive, innocent, or inexperienced.
That’s not what a police force needs.
In my humble opinion prostitutes would be much better recruits than virgins.
They have experienced it all and are not likely to believe any cock and bull stories.

Who would you trust to do a better police job? A virgin or a strumpet?
Personally I would prefer the latter.

I have always thought that women can practically do anything that men can do.
They can be as good or as vicious than any man, and they often are.
But if a male supervisor is unpleasant, an unpleasant female supervisor is automatically a bitch.

As usual I see the pernicious influence of religion in this pathetic charade.
Religion demands unconditional obedience. It is a form of mind control as old as Herod and it has no bounds.
It is the antithesis of democracy and should always be subservient to freely elected (nonclerical) officials.

No man (or woman) will ever be truly free as long as clerics control his destiny!

Diderot said it better:

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. — Denis Diderot

It sounds a little extreme, but there is a nice ring to it.

Alain