Aquacat

What do you call a cat that is totally mesmerized by water? To the point of sleeping in the sink waiting for moisture to gush forth…
Apostate, deviant, perverse, weird? Or maybe just non-conformist?

Should I worry? Should I call a priest to perform some kind of exorcism?
Will this obsession prevent her from becoming a doctor, a neuroscientist or (God forbids) a lawyer?
Will she get weird tattoos and rings in her nose when she grows up?
A parent worries about his children and so do I.

I try to educate her in a manner that makes a clear distinction between Good and Evil, but it is not easy.
I have tried to tell her that sharpening her claws on the side of the couch is evil. She disagrees.
I have tried to tell her that her finicky eating habits are dreadful. She just stares, unblinkingly.
I have tried to tell her that sleeping on my face is not polite. She is not convinced.

I have told her that I am an atheist… she remains inscrutable on that subject.
I don’t want to probe but I discreetly checked her credit card to see if she has plans to go to Syria in the near future.
So far so good.

She is athletic and  is a competitive sleeper. She can sleep anytime anywhere, and in the oddest locations.
She was born a snoozer and a snoozer she will always remain.

Princess Kate is no ordinary feline. Even though she is still very young, she has the grace and demeanor of royalty. That’s what blue blood does for you.

IMG_2369She shows a keen interest in information technology and has excellent mouse skills.
To speed things along, she often nudges the cursor with her paw to make it move faster.

She watches the news with interest and is partial to a certain vet show.

But above all she loves water.
I am thinking of introducing her to the pleasure of a Japanese bath.
There is nothing like a good soaking in warm water followed by an expert massage to keep body and mind in a fighting shape.

I already approached her about that. She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no.

To be continued….

Alain

Happiness is a purring cat

Stress!
Who has not experienced emotional strain once in a while? It is one of the curses of modern life and it can lend on you like a ton of bricks.

But if you ever feel despondent, dispirited, don’t go to a shrink. Get adopted by a cat. It is warmer, softer, cheaper than a psychologist, and non-judgmental.

Sigmund Freud himself agreed:
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”

There is nothing more soothing than reaching in the gloom of night for a purring little ball of fur.
Don’t worry, it says, I am here. You can rub my belly if your heart aches. It has magic properties known to get rid of disturbing bugaboos.
You can pet me as long as you want. There is no extra charge.

Photo on 12-19-14 at 2.29 PM #2Cats seldom speak (they can, but they don’t want to) but they are able to convey what they want very easily.
They communicate with their entire body: mouth, ears, eyes, body, tail.
You will have to be pretty dense not to understand what they are saying.
And if you pretend that you that you don’t, they will turn around and walk away haughtily with their tail held high in the air; everybody knows that it is the highest form of contempt.
I am not wasting my precious time with such a dunce, the tail says.

In ancient Egypt (much more enlightened than Modern Egypt) cats were considered sacred. They were worshiped, and after death some (like high ranking humans) were even mummified.
Killing a cat, even accidentally was then punishable by death. As it should be.

Cats are the most sophisticated creatures that ever saw the light of day.
They are lovers, fighters, dreamers, philosophers and gourmets.
They are wise and consider very carefully what their next move will be.
They are not impetuous. They are deep thinkers and only act after careful consideration.

Among the famous cat lovers: Sir Winston Churchill (his cat Jock even attended wartime Cabinet meetings. He was trusted to never speak about what he heard and he never did).
Alexandre Dumas, Albert Einstein, Ernest Hemingway, Victor Hugo, Robert E. Lee, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, John Lennon (he and his first wife Cynthia had up to ten cats), Queen Victoria, Sir Walter Scott, Mark Twain and Aleksei Efronov.

When cats speak, people listen.
A famous cat said:
“Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.”
Napoleon Bonaparte

To sum it up, instead of getting your head and body massaged by a total stranger, strip into a “full monty” and get a good kneading from your cat.

You will feel better, I promise you.

Alain

Schadenfreude

« Le malheur des uns fait le bonheur des autres. »
The misfortunes of some delight others.

*************

 IMG_2297Last week in my neighborhood (be still my heart) the price of gas dipped below $3.00 per gallon.
This is the first time since December 2010 that gasoline has been so cheap.

It seems (eh eh eh) that there is a worldwide oil glut. Thanks to the increased American oil production there is too much black gold on the market. Glory be!

The big oil producers (Russia, Saudi Arabia, China, Iran) are not amused.

They critically depend on oil revenues, and when the price of oil falls below $80.00 per barrel they start to squirm.
Governments’ diminished revenues usually translate into cost of living increases, and this usually means trouble at home.
All these countries must keep their often-restive populations relatively quiet, and they do this with the carrot and stick method.
But when their buying power starts to erode significantly people don’t see the carrot anymore. They become fixated with the stick and no government likes that.

Comrade Putin is particularly unhappy. This is an unexpected blow to his ambitions.
Russia is highly dependent on the price of oil and if Vladimir cannot keep his compatriots well disposed toward him, the walls of the Kremlin might not be high enough to keep him on Mother Russia’s throne.
He might (like Marie-Antoinette) tell his people to eat cake, but I don’t think that it is a good idea.

Many western countries are turning a blind eye to human right abuses in other countries in order to continue getting a steady supply of oil.
This could change if oil becomes less relevant.
In politics, friendship is based on self-interest. If you don’t need your friends’ goods anymore, the “friendship” can go sour pretty quickly.

The mutual dependency of Saudi Arabia and America in particular will decrease and change the politics of that region.
Let’s not forget that Wahhabism does not sit well with Americans (or the rest of the civilized world).
If the importance of black gold starts ebbing, so will the strategic alliance between those odd bedfellows.
And feminists will cheer.

The downside of this damn business is that the stock market is taking a big hit.
People holding shares in oil companies are dumping them as quickly as possible.
And as usual, it is the little guy that foots the bill.

But for the time being, let’s rejoice and take advantage of the oil bonanza.
We might never see it again.

Oil is now so cheap that instead of bathing in camel milk as I usually do, I might start soaking in crude.

Alain

http://youtu.be/WXozuaz5NFw