I am not a pundit

I am not an expert on any particular subject but that does not prevent me from having my own opinions. And you form opinions by being curious and doing a lot of reading.
Good writing is the corollary of good reading.

I write mainly about trivia. About the scores of little vexations that confront us almost on a daily basis.
I try to be the little guy fighting the Machine.

snoopyMany people are much better writers than I am, but to me it is not a contest. It is more like therapy. Because it feels liberating to vent, to release bottled up emotions.
I always said that it is better to vent peacefully (with words) than violently (with guns) because “The word is mightier than the sword.”

I write about what I have experienced. Often emphasizing the absurd to make a point. Irony, sarcasm has more bite than crude insults.

I write about how I feel regarding certain events or people. For instance, I find the picture of the woman posing next to the giraffe she just shot absolutely repulsive.
I would be ashamed to pose next to any murdered animal.

Hunting is not a sport. It is a massacre. What is the glory of shooting defenseless animals with high-powered riffles? I wouldn’t mind that much if “hunters” would confront animals on equal terms.
As a matter of fact, I would rather enjoy the sight of an unarmed hunter confronting a large buck.

I am also a big proponent of writing complaint letters.
If you feel that you have been treated unfairly anywhere, write a letter to set things straight.
A phone call is practically useless, but a letter (a paper trail) can do wonders for you.

The secret of being heard is to be polite and factual.
Insults or threats have absolutely no place in such a letter. Good grammar and utmost politeness are the key to success.
Grammar is important because people have a tendency (especially in Europe) to judge you by the way you dress (or write).

Writing is also a way of crystalizing your thoughts.
Often you are unable to control what comes out of your mouth and before you realize it you have made an irretrievable booboo.
“If it’s a legitimate rate, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Todd Akin (R-Mo).
Too late, you said that halfwit!

When you write (and before you publish your piece) you have plenty of time to correct your story and should read, reread and read again what you just wrote.

Anybody can write. It just takes a little discipline and a lot of patience.
Write, it is therapeutic!

Alain

Le petit Robert 2015

  • Petit RobertÊtre au bout du rouleau : Situation très peu confortable, surtout quand on est aux toilettes.
  • GPS : Seule femme que les hommes écoutent pour trouver leur chemin.
  • Taser : Instrument utilisé afin de mieux faire passer le courant entre la police et la jeunesse.
  • Porte-clefs : Invention très pratique qui permet de perdre toutes ses clefs d’un coup au lieu de les perdre une par une.
  • Maison Blanche : Actuellement Barack noire.
  • Voiture : Invention ingénieuse, permettant de contenir 110 chevaux dans le moteur et un âne au volant.
  • Orteil : Appendice servant à détecter les coins de portes.
  • Egalité des sexes : Nouveau concept créé par les hommes pour ne plus payer le restaurant.
  • Monter un meuble Ikea : Expression moderne signifiant “passer un week-end de merde”.
  • Suppositoire : Invention qui restera dans les annales.
  • “Oui chérie” : Gain de temps.
  • La beauté intérieure : Concept inventé par les moches pour pouvoir se reproduire.
  • Pruneau : Synonyme de personne âgée. Qui est ridé et qui fait chier.
  • Aides internationales : Aides payées par les pauvres des pays riches pour aider les riches des pays pauvres.
  • Pharmacie : Confiserie pour vieux
  • Blonde : Concept pour faire croire que les autres femmes sont intelligentes.
  • Un meurtre de sang froid : Un ice crime
  • Sentiments partagés : Quand votre belle-mère est en train de reculer dans le ravin avec votre voiture toute neuve.
  • Femme : C’est comme le café, au début ça excite mais rapidement ça énerve
  • Carte bleue : Viagra féminin.
  • Masochisme : Concept proche de la politesse : frapper avant d’entrer
  • Le Gospel : C’est quand ton gamin a pris un coup de soleil
  • Homme riche : Celui qui gagne plus d’argent que ce que sa femme n’en dépense
    Grand amour : Expression datant du 15ème siècle, lorsque l’espérance de vie était de 35 ans.

Sausages & Lentils 2015

As you probably know, lately I have been under the weather and unable to attend the club’s annual Sausages & Lentils picnic/tournament.
But even though I stayed home, I was with you in spirit.

IMG_9563According to my sources, 42 players showed up to compete and feast on Jean-Claude Etallaz famed “diots” (sausages) “a la Savoyarde”.
And indeed they looked scrumptious on the photos taken by a certain Tamara Efron.
IMG_9533It would be remiss of me not to mention Antoine Lofaro who did a great job assisting Jean-Claude.

 

 

14 triplettes competed for the top spots, and after the dust settled the following people came to the podium to be kissed by the local miss and receive their purses.

 


1st place:     Patrick Vaslet, Sabine Mattei, Jean-Michel Poulnot:  $48.00
2nd place:    Benji Tosi, Christine Jones, Larry Cragg:  $24.00
3rd place:      Brendan Cohen, C. Davantes, Mireille DiMaio: $12.00

Let’s not forget that Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half.” Bum Phillips

The tournament was run by Verena Rytter assisted by Liv Kraft who was gracious enough to sit through the entire tournament to keep scores and allow Verena to compete.
Thank you Liv. You are indeed the genuine article.

I won’t speak at length about what I didn’t witness and I will let instead Tamara’s photos speak for themselves.

Congratulations to the winners and best luck next time to the rest of the pack!

Alain

PS: To look at photos of this event and listen to the accompanying background music, turn your computer’s sound on, and click on the link “My Photos” located on the right side of this page. For best viewing, go “Full Screen”.