Au Cochonnet Marin

I always said that if you are dissatisfied with any kind of service, instead of bitching (and probably doing nothing), put your grievances in writing and send it to the people in charge.

Last case in point.
Whenever I bring my car for service to the Toyota dealership in Novato, I have to cross Vintage Way to get a cup of coffee while waiting.

I have been unhappy for quite a while about the extremely short time span allocated to the traffic light controlling the crossing of that street.
The green light will briefly appear (for about 15 seconds) and go back to red while you are only halfway across the street.
This state of affairs is rather annoying, and dangerous to say the least.

Finally fed up with this problem, I wrote (always politely) to the department that I thought was responsible for this situation.

It took a little while, but somebody finally contacted me to tell me that I was barking at the wrong tree.
The outfit responsible for this they told me, is DC Electric Group, an electrical contractor who takes care among other things of maintenance and repair of traffic signals and streetlights.
They related my message to them.

DC Electric contacted me via e-mail and asked me specifically which traffic signal I was referring to.
Acknowledging my request is already a positive development.

I used Google Earth to send them pictures of the exact location of the traffic light and I am now waiting to see if they are going to do anything about this.

They better do it, because when I start something I am like a flea on a dog. I won’t let go. If I don’t get satisfaction I will keep biting them with letters demanding action and they will get tired of this before I do.

Waiting now to see if action speaks louder than words, or for my Hispanic readers “acciones hablan más que las palabras.”

To be continued…

Alain

“Absent from one’s post but without intent to desert.”

Every couple needs a vacation. From each other.

Let’s face it, being joined at the hip is unhealthy. In the long run it generates what Edna St. Vincent Millay called “the terrible trials on incessant proximity.”
Like an old Diesel submarine a couple needs to periodically surface (pull apart) to recharge its batteries.

Every twosome is regulated by an unwritten but somewhat rigid code of conduct. Any derogation to this code can create subterranean frictions.
A vacation apart, putting aside established rules is ultimately beneficial to a couple.

While in a vacation from your mate, you can revert to your true self.
You can relive your bachelor glory days when housecleaning and corporal care were optional.
When belching and passing wind were innocent occurrences.
When the bed was made only for special occasions.
When cobwebs and dust were left undisturbed for long periods of time.

A temporary separation is unequivocally healthy and recommended by health therapists the world over.

One of the most sensible relationships I ever had was when my main squeeze and I were living in the same building but in separate apartments.
When I felt like doing the nasty I whistled.
When she wanted to make whoopee she yelled “Darling did you whistle?
After thoroughly discussing Uganda, we returned respectively to our respective abode.
No fuss no muss.

 

A brief separation makes you look forward to coming together again and appreciating each other’s company.
So, don’t throw stones at couples that take a separate vacation. It is more astute than you think.

“Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.”
Roger de Rabutin, comte de Bussy.

Lady Astor: “Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your tea.”
Winston: “Madam, if I were your husband … I’d drink it.”

I love wit, and that’s why I like euphemisms because they often show creative humor.

First, what is exactly  euphemism? Is it some kind of a disease like rheumatism, hypothyroidism or anti-Semitism?

No no Prunella dear…

Like the Vatican Croatian Prayer Book, the dictionary that never leaves my bedside says this about it:
“A euphemism is a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.”

In a polite society clever euphemisms can blunt the impact of some coarse statements. It helps people to refer to unmentionable words or expressions without offending anybody. Often because they don’t understand the true meaning of what is being said.

I dislike crude people who cannot utter an eight-word sentence without using the f-word at least three times.
It betrays a pathetic lack of imagination or sophistication.

Euphemisms can help and I would be more forgiving of some intellectually challenged individuals if instead of making vulgar comments, they would use a clever way of expressing what is on their feeble mind.

Below are a bunch of euphemisms that I gleaned on the Internet. Some are mild and some are coarse, but when I come across any of them I cannot help but chuckle.

• Adult entertainer: prostitute
• Answer the call of nature: To satisfy the bodily urge to urinate or defecate
• Aurally challenged: hard of hearing
• Barking spider: An instance of audible flatulence; a fart
• Bat for the other team: to be homosexual
• Between jobs: unemployed
• Bio-break: A visit to the restroom
• Bought the farm: died
• Candy man: drug dealer
• Chicago typewriter: Thompson machine gun
• Creative accounting: Financial accounting practices that are not explicitly legal
• Cut the cheese: to flatulate, pass gas
• Dehire: to terminate the employment
• Discuss Uganda: to have sex
• Economical with the truth: not telling the whole truth
• Fall off a truck:  to come into a person’s possession without having been paid for
• Five finger discount: shoplifting
• Hide the sausage: to have sex
• Influential person: underworld don
• Join the invisible choir: to die
• Lubrication payment: bribe, grease money
• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer: dimwitted
• Older adult: senior citizen
• Preloved: previously loved by somebody else
• Rapid unplanned disassembly: explosion
• See a man about a horse: to go missing for a short while without giving a real explanation.
• Shake hand with the unemployed: to urinate, to masturbate
• Smallest room in the house: the toilet
• Step on a duck: fart
• Vatican roulette: rhythm method for birth control
• Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: What The Fuck

Excuse me older adults, I have got to see a man about a horse.

Alain

How Russians cross a river…
Thanks to John Mengshol:

https://youtu.be/pMCrj02SUlA