Au Cochonnet Marin

“Life is all about Ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, bursting it, or trying to get a piece of it.” 
Unknown Author

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Every four years American politicians vying for at shot at Pennsylvania Avenue engage in a gigantic ass-kissing contest that is watched with incredulous amazement by the rest of the world.

This League of Extraordinary Gentlemen men dudes (and dudette) shamelessly engages in a bunch of unnatural acts to secure votes.

Wearing plastic smiles, they will mingle with and glad-hand commoners (yuck), kiss drooling babies (gross), eat crappy foods (yech), play checkers, pretend to ride the subway, in short, perform all sorts of deeds that are as flagrantly phony as a three- dollar bill.
They will even try to rope in a reluctant pope to enroll him as a Facebook friend.

As usual, an obscene amount of money is fueling this farce. For money is power. It is an “extra-strength” lubricant that behind the scene can and will unfreeze the most obstinate frozen bolts.
Candidates are not above cajoling, bribing even blackmailing (especially if there is a skeleton dangling in your closet) the so-called “undecided”.

But if victory is achieved, will there be gold at the end of the rainbow for Joe Sixpack and his buddies?
I very much doubt it. Joe and his chums will get bupkes, nada, rien.
Only a few in the immediate entourage of the candidate will be rewarded for their steadfast support.

For when this long humiliating courtship comes to an end, everything changes. It is now the former ass kisser who wants to be the “kissee”.

“I want real loyalty. I want someone who will kiss my ass in Macy’s window, and say it smells like roses.” Lyndon B. Johnson

So, why should we vote for any of these brownnosers?
Because USS America needs somebody at the helm. Somebody preferably presidential looking, reasonable, experienced, pragmatic, not some pathetically laughable, uninformed pompadoured braggadocio.

Demagogues are dangerous fellows. They generally promise what they cannot deliver.
Promise me less, but if possible, give me more. Not the opposite.

Speaking for myself, I cannot trust anybody who blows his own horn harder than famously arrogant (“There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry”) George Armstrong Custer.

Alain

« Elle était aussi bien de fesses que de face. »
Raymond Queneau

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On April 17, under a beautiful blue sky, La Pétanque Marinière hosted its annual Lentils & Sausages picnic/tournament.

You might not realize it, but lentils are one of the healthiest dishes on earth.
According to a medical journal, lentils lower cholesterol. They reduce your risk of heart disease. They help prevent constipation and they stabilize your blood sugar. And since it contain virtually not fat, it helps you to lose weight.
Aren’t we a caring bunch?

A light shadow was cast over the tournament following the unexpected demise of René di Maio. A minute of silence was observed but as the poet says:

“Better to die, and sleep the never-waking sleep, than linger on and dare to live when the soul’s life is gone.”

Memories will linger, but life will go on.

Sabine Mattei prepared the lentils (thank you Ma’am) and as usual Cartouche (aka J-C Etallaz) and Antoine Lofaro cooked the sausages. Thank you fellows.

Thirty-six contestants signed up for the tournament.

1. Blaise West, Gus Foucher, Claudie Chourré
2. Alain Efron, Doug Colville, Clea Massiani
3. Bleys Rose, Catlin Woodbury, Joanne Easton
4. Shannon bowman, Joe La Torre, Genevieve Etallaz
5. Francois Moser, Robbie Passemar, Calvert Barron
6. Brigitte Moran, Noel Marcovecchio, Monique Bricca
7. Patrick Vaslet, J-M Poulnot, Eva Lofaro
8. J-c Etallaz, Christine Cragg, Sabine Mattei
9. John Morrison, Charlie Davantes, Liliane Sebban
10. Henry Wessel, Marshall Elliott, Paul Tucker
11. Bernard Passemar, Larry Cragg, Richard Ehrinberger
12. Albert Woodbury, Rob Everett, Tamara Efron

Among the participants, I spotted notorious Rasputina (Tamara), Le Canonnier (Noel), Fillette (Brigitte), le P’tit Suisse (Francois), le Facteur (Jean-Michel), La Bête Noire (Henry), Minette (Genevieve), whimsical La Voleuse (Clea), Pitouf (Paul), Dagobert and Firefly (Bernard).
Most of these troopers did well in the tournament.

We also noticed with pleasure the participation of four young San Franciscans who didn’t hesitate to cross the Bridge to compete on our own turf.
We hope to see them on a regular basis.

After random pairing (due to the diligence of Liv Kraft and Christine Cragg), triplettes were assembled and games (3) started after lunch.

My own team consisting of Doug Colville, Clea Massiani (aka La Voleuse) and myself (La Foudre) lost the first game 7/13. This was just a warming up session.
On our second game, we went down 11/13 but did noticeably better.
On our final meet, after a highly contested game, we were (barely) bested 12/13.
As you can see, we improved with each game and with two additional games we would have definitely crushed the opposition.

While playing I managed to take a few snapshots on the fly. They are not my best work, but I plead extenuating circumstances.

After the dust settled, the final results emerged and they were as follows:

1^st place:  Albert Woodbury, Rob Everett, Tamara Efron             $25/ea
2^nd place: Sabine Mattei, J-C Etallaz, Christine Cragg                        $18/ea
3^rd place: Henry Wessel, Marshall Elliott, Paul Tucker                          $15/ea
4^th place: Brigitte Moran, Noel Marcovecchio, Monique Bricca           $10/ea

Congratulations to the winners, and especially to Rasputina (Tamara) who promised to take me out for dinner with her fabulous winnings.

Until we meet gain, hasta la vida amigos, or as my better-half would say “До скорого!”

Alain la Foudre

PS: To look at photos of this event and listen to the accompanying background music, turn your computer’s sound on, and click on the link “My Photos” located on the right side of this page. For best viewing, go Full Screen.

PS 2: Look at Clea’s gallery:

http://www.bassandreiner.com

 

After a short illness René Di Maio peacefully passed away in his sleep April 14, 2016. He was 81 years old.

René was born in Marseille, France in 1935, and was a true Provencal.
As they say in Provence:

“Fai pas bon travaia quand la cigalo canto.” (It is not good to work when the cicada sings.)

He was issued from a family of fishermen and had a varied and colorful career.

He enrolled in the French merchant marine at the age of 14 and later on served in the French navy (with world famous Jacques Pépin).
Just like Jacques, René loved to cook.

René was a Jack-of-all-trades. Throughout his life he dwelled in various occupations and was in turn a fisherman, a taxi driver, a painter, a waiter and a maître d’.
In his heyday, in his fair city of Marseille, René was also a great dancer and won several competitions.

With Louis Toulon, Charlie Davantes and Marcel Parnell, he was one of the original founders of La Pétanque Marinière.
They launched the club in 1973 and gave it its actual name.

René was an excellent pointer and won many tournaments. He excelled in a technique called “jouer a la godille” (to spin your boule around an obstacle).
He was also an avid golfer who not too long ago managed a rare “hole in one”.

René was a complex character with a deadpan humor not always understood by everyone.
But he was above all a devoted family man who doted on his grandchildren.

 

He is survived by his wife Mireille, two sons and four grandchildren.

Alain