Stop! Stop everything! I know where the gold is!
It looks like it is buried in my garden, at the end of the rainbow that miraculously appeared yesterday.
The leprechauns haunting my garden must have stashed their gold coins in my backyard, and all I need to do is to negotiate with them what is my fair share of the loot
Because possession is nine-tenths of the law, isn’t it? It is in my garden therefore what’s buried in it belongs to me. That’s what my Tinsel Town lawyer told me.
Even if they were not keen on sharing their gold with me, I could trap one of these little guys and in exchange for his freedom I could demand three wishes.
Because if ever captured by a human, the Leprechaun has the magical power to grant three wishes in exchange for their release. That’s the law.
Now, what would I do with my three wishes? Difficult question!
I would have to be very careful because once granted, wishes cannot be rescinded.
So what could I wish for? I am handsome, smart, talented, charming… What could a guy like me possibly want?
Broads? Booze? Boules?
I could wish for making that *#&@* Fiskal Kliff fall off the surface of the earth.
I could wish for transforming all the guns of the world into spaghetti.
I could wish for transforming all hate-peddlers into comedians. In spite of themselves they could not help telling jokes and making people laugh.
So, what am I going to do may you ask?
Well, I am not going to tell you. For to come true, wishes cannot be divulged.
But you better be nice to me because if you cross me I could unload a nasty spell on you.
On the other hand, if you want to curry my favors, let it be known that I am fond of suckling pigs, Parma Hams and goose “rillettes”.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!