Category: Fourre-tout

“To become really good at anything, you have to practice and repeat, practice and repeat, until the technique becomes intuitive.” Paulo Coelho

For most people pétanque is a pastime, for a few others, it is a consuming passion. A holy grail pursuit inspired and brought on the wings of angels. Like priesthood, it requires a faith and discipline that few people possess.

Yesterday I had the pleasure to play with against Mark Shirkey and I could not help but notice his growing dexterity. He has become a solid “shooter” (and pointer) and least but not last, he is blessed with an excellent form. He has a fluid style, smooth and graceful, and it is always a pleasure to photograph him. His team also gave us a good drubbing.

In any discipline, people like to compete against better players. For as the French dramatist Pierre Corneille wrote, “There is no glory in winning an easy battle.” And that’s why people like to tussle with Mark. He is a tough dude and winning (sometimes) against him is such an accomplishment.

Mark (and Sandra) eat and sleep (and probably dream) pétanque. They practice almost daily, and this perseverance has paid off big dividends. They have started to make a name for themselves in the Bay Area, and who knows… someday in the world.

They have the equipment, they know all the rules and the pétanque jargon, but to my mind they are still missing something. To be real bona fide players, they must learn to curse… In French naturally! They don’t need a huge vocabulary, just a few energetic, colorful words like “merde”, “bordel” and “putain” (preferably pronounced “putaing”).

Pétanque aficionados are usually passionate people, prone to curse or yell over a missed shot, and when they fall short of the mark thry need to let off some steam.

But I don’t think that it is Mark’s style. He is a cool dude and (unlike little unholy me) I never heard him curse, or even voice disappointment over a missed shot. He is as stoic as Seneca the Younger.

 When I think of steadfast practice, the name of Ann Krilanovich also comes to mind. She took up the sport fairly recently, and in a few short months, she has become the incarnation of Miss Pétanque. She plays almost daily, has probably visited all the Bay Area clubs and knows anybody worth knowing.

Just like for Mark, daily practice has helped her a great deal. She is now a reliable pointer and a budding shooter, but above all she is very friendly and has a great sense of humor. Does she have any other relatives that we could entice to play with us?

All the above to say that there is no shortcut to glory. To win, you must practice, practice and practice again. Maybe, just maybe, it could metamorphose you into a great competitor like Mark.

Alain

Relationships are what life is all about. To make it worthwhile, you want a satisfying emotional and sexual association with somebody. If you don’t have it, you won’t feel complete until you do.

But relationships are eminently tricky. You want to be part of a couple, but you don’t want to be smothered by your partner. Both individuals want to be together, but not 24 hours a day. When both partners work, they leave the nest in the morning, mingle with different people during the daytime, and are happy to meet again in the evening. In other words, you need to take regular breaks from the relationship to make it sustainable.

An individual in a couple is like an apnea diver. After the exhilaration of a deep dive, he must periodically come back for air to continue his activity. Problems will occur if you work together or when you retire. Being on top of each other every minute of the day is mentally exhausting and corrosive. You might like strawberry pie, but not every day of the week.

To test a budding relationship (and I talk from experience), I would recommend a three weeks’ vacation far away from your regular, comfortable environment. If after this time together you are still talking to each other, your relationship has a chance to survive. If not, you are not made for each other and you better call it quit, no matter how painful it can be.

This long preamble brings me to the now infamous Petito/Laundrie affair. Four months together in a small van was a recipe for disaster. A thousand things could go wrong, (it did) and the couple didn’t have any “boudoir” to decompress. A boudoir by the way is a small room usually adjacent to the bedroom. This word has its roots in “bouder” which in French means to sulk. After a quarrel, the woman would escape to her “boudoir” to regain her composure. Since a small van does have this luxury, you will have to sulk next to your partner and this will make the situation even more uncomfortable.

If you survive a long vacation together, plan to marry, and build a dream house, don’t forget to include a “boudoir” in your project. It is as valuable as a bathroom and can save your marriage. It is as necessary as an internet connection.

Togetherness is one thing, suffocation is another. It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and there is quite a bit of truth in that. Give your partner regular breaks and let him/her blow off some steam away from you. Reunions will be sweeter and will consolidate your relationship.

“Parting is such a sweet sorrow…” because it will make you long for your next time together.

Alain

This was the title of a little story featuring Cynthia Heinrichs and posted in the SF Chronicle about a decade ago.

At the time, this titillating headline surely drew some attention since everybody (secretly) loves dirt… especially when it is French. But there was not really anything indecent about Cynthia and her activity.

The writer (Sam Whiting) was talking about pétanque which is indeed played in the dirt, stuff enjoyed by kids and adults alike.

Cynthia said that she became aware of the game during her honeymoon in the South of France and subsequently became a convert. She was 74 when the article was published, and today, even though she is not as quick on her feet as 10 years ago, she still can be seen frolicking in the dirt on the San Rafael court.

The beauty of this game is that it can be played anywhere, by anybody, regardless of age or physical condition, and octogenarians (and even nonagenarians) can commonly be seen on our local fields.

This discipline, which is fairly easy to master, nevertheless requires some stamina. Some people are amazed to discover that during a single session (which can last from 2 to 4 hours) you can cover a surprising amount of ground and burn a significant amount of calories.

I guarantee that, even if you have some trouble sleeping, if you play in a tournament (lasting between 5 to 6 hours) you definitely won’t have any problem falling in the arms of Morpheus.

Warning! the game is highly addictive and will take a fair amount of time. Yes, it will deprive you of many hours of TV watching and induce some initial discomfort. But it will pass very quickly. Soon you will eat and sleep pétanque and bore everybody with your fantastic boules stories.

America is currently highly divided by many political and medical issues and would greatly benefit by adopting this “dirty” game on a national level.

Like Robert De Niro, Mick Jagger, Johnny Depp, Yves Montand, Morley Safer, Peter Gabriel, Diane Kruger, etc. the President could help to reunite the nation by adopting and promoting this unique common people’s pastime. If he ever did, reelection would be a cinch.

You can also read an excellent article about pétanque (How boules got cool) in the Guardian.

Thank you, Cynthia, for sharing your story with us.

Alain