Category: Fourre-tout

Ho Ho Ho, tis the season to be jolly… and excuse my cynicism, extremely vigilant. During the holidays, the scammers are working overtime to separate you from your money and your jolliness.

For the rest of the year (and beyond) pay extra attention to your e-mail. This is the scammers’ Trojan Horse and their most common way to penetrate your vault room. Scrutinize all your e-mail and above all, do not respond or click on any unknown link.

In the holidays season, spam reigns supreme. One way or the other the stuff is bad for you. If you ingest it, be aware that it is high in sodium, fat, and calories. Even just looking at it, will perturb you and prompt you to react quickly. Big mistake. No matter what, stay cool and if need be, carefully deal with the fraudulent scheme.

Recently I received the following message:

“Dear user,
You should contact Security support if you haven’t received the update. We are happy to provide you with the best and most secure protection available as a Norton Security customer. A one-year subscription for Norton Security has been purchased for $385.32. You will soon see this charge on your account statement. Thanks for your patience.

Within 24 hours, the charge will appear on your statement. Your bank has already deducted it. Once the subscription’s expiration date approaches, the subscription will automatically renew if automatic renewal is selected.”

Upon reading this, I immediately detected the unmistakable smell of spam. I have not used Norton for years, and I don’t have an account with them. So, I just played dead. I didn’t respond in any way to this message, but I flagged it as spam on my computer. In G-mail, the spam folder is located somewhere under the Inbox. I also checked with my bank to see if any money has been deducted. None had been withdrawn.

When you get a spam message, don’t panic. This is what the scammers want. A panicked reaction to counter a perceived threat. Simply ignore the message and let it know on the Internet that this is spam.

Happy holidays! May you be surrounded by jolly elves, and may your egg nog be potent enough to get you through the Christmas season!

Alain

Last Saturday I woke up to find a white coat of frost blanketing all the roofs of my neighborhood. It was so cold that my cat’s tongue stuck to my nose.

After noticing this, I was tempted to remain cocooned in my warm bed for the rest of the day. I am “frileux” (very sensitive to cold) and if I perceive that there is no need to step outside, I won’t.

But all warm-blooded creatures are social animals who have a visceral need to congregate with their peers. So, despite some misgivings, I shielded myself with 5 layers of clothing and went to the pétanque field.

“We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment in our lives when we do not benefit from others’ activities. For this reason, it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.” –The Dalai Lama

 Our pétanque club has done wonders to bring people together, and Christine C. and Ann K. have been the most active (and successful) proponents of this goal. We owe them. Thank you very much, ladies!  Where indeed, can you mingle with people without being burdened by religion, politics, or any other drivel?

On the field, there were between 25 and 30 individuals willing to freeze their “derrière” for the privilege of playing and bouleshooting… a significantly high number of players for a rather nippy day. Obviously, pétanque players are a hardy breed who don’t mind mild sub-zero temperatures, but nevertheless, a sip of Glühwein would have been welcome.

On second thought, we should introduce an amendment to our bylaws stating that on very cold days, our First-Aid Attendant should provide this life-saving potion to anybody who wants it. Tamara also promised to bring some Russian fire water to help revive anybody feeling green around the gills.

According to Greatist, when imbibed in moderation, a shot of vodka can do some amazing things. Notably ” keeps your mouth clean, protects your heart health (maybe), helps you stick to a low-carb diet, tones your skin — for a little while, calms down your hair, neutralizes odors, and cleans, chills you out, reduces inflammation (maybe), kills germs.”

Hoping to see you soon warm and untroubled!

Alain

This question might sound a little bit odd, but today nobody is above suspicion. If you are famous, you are likely to be a target. Remember, it is the nail that sticks out that gets hammered down.

If you are in the limelight, you are a potential recipient, and your head might suddenly roll Just think of Chris Cuomo… He got the ax because he was trying to help his brother… Wouldn’t you do the same thing for somebody you love? Of course, this quick resolution is politically correct but unfortunately very distressing.

“Fame means millions of people have the wrong idea of who you are.” Erica Jong

We have been idolizing Mr. Santa Claus for a long time, but are this man’s deeds politically correct? I don’t think so. I believe that over the years (with the cover support of the Big Toy cartel) he got away with murder.

For instance, I really wonder what really takes place in his famous workshop… We know that he has been employing a bunch of elves for years, but isn’t this unlawful child labor? They work night and day without a break to supply the demand, but are they treated fairly? do they get overtime and health insurance? I believe that some labor inspectors ought to mousey on down to the NorthPole and have a look-see.

Then, he has been using reindeers for years to deliver his goods, but is he treating his animals humanely? Going around the world all night without food and under any weather conditions? I would not do this to my pet. As an animal lover, I would sleep better if the SPCA would investigate this.

And during his rounds, is he carrying plastic bags to pick up after his animals? Because at some time during their long trip, the reindeers must relieve themselves… In his haste to please his customers, Mr. Claus does not seem to care much about the environment.

I also understand that there have been sexual harassment allegations against him. He is not jolly all the time without some good reasons. Remember, Santa goes down chimneys and enters homes without any authorization. And what does he do down there? The children are asleep, but there could be some sleepless women having a cup of tea…  he probably seats down on the sofa and chats them up. And one thing leads to another…

And don’t you think that he is a bit too cheerful? On Christmas Eve it is pretty cold, and I am quite sure that he must have a few big gulps of Cognac during his journey to keep him warm.

Do you ever wonder why on Christmas night you sometimes cannot reach some friends or family? When you drive under the influence, you get a little careless and I am covinced that Santa banged up a few communication satellites during his hasty trip around the world.

Being famous is not what it used to be. As you can see, it has lost some luster and anybody can become a target.

“You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.”

 Alain