Category: Fourre-tout

Some people might have been wondering what compels me to write.
Why do I spend a great deal of time hunched in front of my computer?
It is a fair question and I’ll try my best to answer it.

First of all, I am retired and I have plenty of time on my hands.
Everybody knows that idle hands are the devil’s workshop, so to thwart Beelzebub’s nefarious plans (I know that he has had his eyes on me), I had to occupy my lazy hands.

Since everything I like is illegal, immoral or fattening, I decided to use my modest writing talent to keep out of trouble.
I write about whatever strikes my fancy, but I also use my soapbox to “kvetch”.
If something displeases me, I kvetch (and I urge you to do the same).

Over the years, I have become a “masterkvetcher”.
I kvetch (among other things) to avoid seeing a priest or a shrink.
Because when something bothers you, you need to be able to vent your frustration.
Kvetching is a safety valve. People unable or unwilling to let loose will soon or later pop their cork and harm somebody.

I also write because I probably have egotistical and exhibitionist tendencies. Like everybody else, I want my fifteen minutes of fame.
And by the way, I don’t wear an overcoat and expose myself to women and schoolchildren, but if I didn’t write I cannot say for sure what I would do. So for everybody’s sake, allow me write.

I always liked playing with words and I also enjoy the mental gymnastic associated with the writing process.
When I compose, I use word-processing and I also make good use of the blessed “cut and paste” feature. I just cannot imagine being in the shoes of Balzac or Dumas who wrote everything in longhand and spent additional long hours rewriting some paragraphs.

I like to compare myself to a blacksmith, hammering sentences into pleasant shapes. And you should know that it takes a lot of sweat and hammering to come up with the proper words and flowing sentences.

So forgive my scribbling impulses and if you like it, let your friends know about it.
Thank you.

Alain

PS: I like the word “kvetch”. It sounds very similar to a blue plum called La Quetsche d’Alsace that I used to be very fond of in my youth

 

There are not enough guns in circulation in the US. We must add some more.
This is in effect what Wayne LaPierre (French for Wayne the Stone) executive vice president of the National Rifle Association is saying.

To solve America’s killing epidemics we need to put armed guards just about everywhere. Especially in schools.
“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,” Mr. LaPierre said to reporters Friday.

School children will be required to wear body armor (helmets too) and be kept from harm by pistol packing mamas. Rocket Propelled Grenades might also be kept in schools’ arsenals.
It is only when everybody is armed to the teeth that killing epidemics will stop.

We should also start building personal bunkers and surround our properties with barbed wires and minefields.
We should all start to wear uniforms to distinguish us from the bad guys.
Black for the bad guys and white for the good guys.

And who is going to be in charge? Militias of course.

“A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Thank God for our good old Second Amendment. But shouldn’t you belong to a registered militia to have the right to bear arms?

And what about people who don’t like guns? What are we going to do with these bad Americans, these losers?
I suggest that we put them in internment camps, like our leaders did with the Japanese in World War Two.

Peace loving Americans should look up to the Afghanistan tribal areas where everybody carries guns and where nobody is killed, except  for good reasons. Like the audacity of some wenches who have the insolence to demand education.
Everybody knows that women should be kept barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen!

Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984) said:

First they came for the communists, 
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.
Then they came for the socialists, 
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, 
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for me, 
and there was no one left to speak for me.

And when the gun-wielding psychos will come for you, there will be nobody to speak for you.

Stop this insanity and shame your legislators into toughening our pathetically lax gun control laws.

Alain