Category: Fourre-tout

A few days ago I played pétanque with Henry Wessel and this guy is really starting to get on my nerves.
When you are a pétanque “rookie” you are supposed to play like a rookie.
When shooting for instance, out of sheer respect for your elders, you ought to miss at least two out of every three shots.
But this guy doesn’t play by the rules! He shoots to kill and he is ruthlessly accurate.
No “boule” is safe from this maniac! This has got to stop!

Henry started playing about a year ago, and in a very short time he has blossomed into a very talented player.
He can now point like René (his Zen master) and shoot like Antoine (his Godfather).
But I suspect foul play.

Lately, Henry has made numerous trips to the East Coast, even to Europe, and I speculate that under the cover of business, he is secretly seeking help from pétanque pros.
This is not fair!
When you are a plebe, you are not supposed to do well within a single year.
You are supposed to throw lousy shots and get tutored by older Mustache Petes.

Regardless of their ability, Young Turks are required to show respect to their elders by words and deeds. And losing to them is a sign of respect!
Kissing the hand of their elders is the way it is done in the old country and traditions ought to be preserved.

Don Fulmini: Enrico, Enrico. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you’d come to me in friendship, then this scum that wounded your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

Enrico: Be my friend. Godfather.

Don Fulmini: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me.

Enrico: Si, Padrino!

Don Fulmini: Bene, bene… Then, from now on, you will lose two games out of three when you play against me.

Enrico: Si Padrino. Mille grazie.

Don Fulmini: And you will be amazed by how many games you will win playing against better players… Don’t thank me now… the day might come when I’ll call upon you to do a little favor for me.
Watch your steps Enrico… and don’t tell anybody we had this little conversation!

Alain la Foudre

 

Good morning America… and welcome to another mass shooting!

By now, the country has sadly become accustomed (almost desensitized) to such senseless violence and even though news organizations pretend to be shocked, they are not doing much to stem this kind of barbarity.
They will report every shooting with relish but won’t campaign against restricting the flow of arms.
The sacred Second Amendment you know, and (mostly) the fear of ruffling some feathers.

No matter what the carnage, American Sunday warriors continue to cling to weapons like Christians to crucifixes.
But crucifixes have never prevented anybody from becoming shooting ducks and gun owners are not immune to random shootings either.
Disgruntled employees or resentful lovers have absolutely no qualms about shooting crucifix bearers and guns lovers alike.
And there are plenty of copycats waiting in the wings…

There is no denying that urban life today has become a dangerous environment, and sometimes people need to protect themselves against deranged individuals.
But to defend yourself you don’t need assault weapons.
Assault weapons are meant to “assault” and not to defend.

In the latest carnage, the killer was armed with an AR-15 assault rifle. Such weapons come equipped with 20 or 30 round staggered-column magazines and can be purchased rather easily.
And this was the case for Aaron Alexis who in spite of known mental problems was able to buy this weapon very easily.

Most people don’t advocate the total banishment of firearms in America, but a tighter control of selling and buying procedures would be a welcome start.

Maybe after the Washington Navy Yard massacre, lawmakers will see the light and have the courage (I doubt it) to do something about it.

If they don’t, very soon children and adults alike will have to wear helmets and bulletproof vests before venturing outside their homes.

Is this something that you would like to see in the future?
Not me!

Alain La Foudre

Erratum: According to the latest news, the shooter was not carrying an AR-15 but a shotgun

 

I have been known to rant and rave about many things and many people, but today I come here not to bury but to praise Caesar.

Our pétanque club is manned by volunteers and unbeknownst to many they often work long hours in the background to make things happen.

Many people for instance come to our picnics and find it natural to find everything “ready to eat”. And they never give it a second thought.
But a picnic for 60 to 70 people is a huge undertaking requiring a lot of planning and preparation.
And this job is done by a handful of (unpaid) volunteers.

Our club, unlike a business organization, never rewards its workers in any form. They don’t even get a pat on the back for a job well done.
That’s why I always try to single out people who contributed to the welfare of our club.

Lately, it has come to my attention that Claudie Chourré is going to leave the Board of Directors at the end of the year.
It is a crying shame and we are sorely going to miss her, for Claudie is one of the oldest Board Member and one of the hardest workers in our club.
In the Soviet Union she would have been known as a  Stakhanovite, an overachiever, and she would certainly have been given some medal.
But in our organization, nada!

Unlike some lesser figures she never blows her horn and that’s why I feel compelled to be her personal horn blower.

Claudie was born in Southwest France, in the province of Bearn located at the feet of the Pyrenees Mountains.
She is from the same area and the same hearty bread as d’Artagnan, the beloved hero of Alexandre Dumas’s Three Musketeers.

She came to the United States around 1962 and along with husband Jean, she worked hard to be a success, and that she did.
She is now surrounded by a large loving family of children and grandchildren.

The club is going to lose a lot when she retires and if I could, I would personally kiss her on both cheeks and award her the “Médaille d’honneur du travail” and “honi soit qui mal y pense” the Order of the Garter.
She bloody well deserves it!

Next time you see Claudie, give a big hug and be sure to let her know how much you appreciate the countless hours that she devoted to our club.

Alain la Foudre