Humour quand tu nous tiens

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization” George Carlin

When I was a young gay blade* chasing flirtatious lasses, my pre-requisite for starting a relationship was a shared sense of humor.
I don’t deny that T & A ranked high, but it came only close second to a woman’s innate ability to laugh at things and people.

More than anything else, it was a ready smile and an easy laugh that first attracted me to a woman.
If my date proved unable or unwilling to laugh at my jokes she was out. No ifs or butts!

This pre-requisite still holds true today.

People incapable of appreciating humor rank low in my circle of acquaintances.
It is laughter that distinguishes us from animals, and if you are incapable of laughing, what does that make you?
To be true, I am not sure that dogs do not have a sense of humor. If they didn’t, why would they pee on your leg?

Sharing humor provides a sense of complicity, of belonging.
If you can laugh at the same things you have something in common and it augurs well for the future.
If you cannot, it is better to part ways quickly instead of lingering in an unhappy relationship.

practing jewIn humor there are no taboos.
One ought to be able to joke about anything; even about God (she would not mind) or religion. Especially religion! There is always a crying need to skewer this antiquated charade.

Some people are incapable of recognizing humor when it stares them in the face.
It is not just words or images that make something funny. It is their unexpected juxtaposition and context.

To appreciate humor you need to be informed. And to be informed, you need a broad vision of the world.
You cannot tune in to a single channel to have a balanced view of events.
You cannot understand jokes about the Oscars if you have not seen the Oscars.

Putin by himself is not funny. Putin riding bare-chested might elicit a smile. But Vladimir wrestling a bear should make you laugh. If you don’t, you don’t have a sense of humor and you are prime material for joining the Communist Party.

It is said that Conservatives have a much less developed sense of humor than liberals.
I wonder what humor is like in Saudi Arabia?
If you cannot joke about sex, politics or religion what is there left to laugh about?
The weather? Miley Cyrus? The Infidels?

If you are apathetic, depressed or cannot see humor around you, you need treatment.
For a modest fee I could oblige.
But you probably will not like me, for I will laugh at most of the things that you hold sacred.

No matter what, na zdarovye my friends!

Alain

*It is not what you think.
A gay blade originally referred to a dashing swordsman whose sword was often upright and at the ready. Later it was applied to any gallant young man.

Of Boobs and Bums

Do you remember Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Jayne Mansfield
What did these Hollywood icons have in common?
Great acting skills? High intellect? Early feminists? Humanitarian crusaders?

Not exactly. All these divas were famous in great part for their large bosoms.
In those days, in order to emerge from the pack you had to show some serious cleavage (and maybe you still do).

A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more” Jayne Mansfield.

Ever since World War II, America has been titillated by (what else?) tits.
In America bigger has always been better and girls would do almost anything to increase their assets. Insecure young girls are now anxiously waiting for their boobs to grow and begging their parents for breasts implants as a graduation gift.
Many parents oblige.

But lately, there has been a major paradigm shift. The spotlight has shifted from boobs to butts.
The popularity of large breasts has been partially eclipsed by the rise of the booty phenomenon.

CallipygeIn trade mags, celebrities (Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, etc.) are now routinely featured not necessarily because of their acting skills but more for the size of their caboose.

As seen recently on ABC news, women are now going through risky silicon injections to increase the size of their buttocks.
In their narcissistic pursuit of perfection are women now using a secret algorithm to determine the ideal size of their bottom?

Never mind selfies. Facebook is now full of lightly clad young women taking “butt selfies” that will quickly find their way on the Internet.
Why? Is it for sale?

Will a bigger tush guarantee happiness? Will a Callipygian anatomy bring home the bacon?
I could be wrong, but I always thought that a large IQ had better chances of success than a large bum.

A shapely bottom is always a pleasant sight but young women should realize that the only thing really worth expanding is the mind, and you cannot do this with silicon injections.

To bum, or not to bum, that is the question—

Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of boobs…

Bum or brains?
What would Jesus say?

Alain

 

The joy of text

I am a blogger, a guy who writes a blog.

The word “blog“, by the way was coined by a certain Peter Merholz, who broke the word weblog into “we blog” and then “blogfor short.

A blog is a highly personal website unencumbered by censorship (at least in the free world). The blogger pens down personal opinions and publish his work.

A blogger’s philosophy often stems from the French saying “C’est pas parce qu’on a rien à dire qu’il faut fermer sa gueule.” (It is not because you have nothing to say that should keep your trap shut.)
Now you know.

Many blogs concentrate on a specific subject; not me. Not anymore.
I started my own blog about 10 years ago.
Its original purpose was to keep pétanque players informed and interested in that sport.
But pétanque proved too narrow a field.

After a while my blog evolved into a more general format and I started to write about whatever was brewing under my skullcap.
It is my belief that if you keep your mind churning, you are less likely to suffer any form of cognitive impairment.

To become a blogger, you need to have a certain amount of free time, be opinionated, whacky, and above all enjoy writing.

writers blockUnbeknownst to many, writing a blog requires a lot of hard work. A single piece is never completed in a single session (at least for me) and generally goes through several drafts.

When the first draft is completed, I usually let it marinate overnight. In the morning I sample my concoction again and add some spices it if necessary.

The seeds of the second draft often germinate during my sleep. Ideas sneak into my subconscious while I am catching some Zs and it is up to me to transcribe them to paper.
It is not unusual for a writer to get up during the night to jot down the ideas that popped into his mind while he was sleeping.

Many people won’t agree with a blogger’s opinions and say so. It is their prerogative.

But as my friend Bart so ably put it, “Some days you are the dog, some days you are the lamppost.”

Alain

Flash: Francois Moser at Los Vaqueros Reservoir

Trout