Category: Fourre-tout

A little bit of everything

The laughing grass

Liking it or not, marijuana is now as common as dirt. And it is here to stay.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you should not be the least surprised to catch a whiff of Acapulco Gold, even in your own backyard.
To most people, the aroma of “broccoli” is now as familiar as the smell of garlic bread.

Nothing seems to be able to stop the ineluctable march forward of the Locoweed.
Its popularity is abundantly illustrated by the hundreds of slang terms alluding to it.

So since Wacky Weed is so popular, why is its sale still illegal?
There are many pros and cons regarding that question, but many people have come to realize that, like alcohol previously, the sale of Yerba Buena cannot be held back forever.
The question is not if but when the sale of cannabis is going to be legit.

Brent MillerProhibition was an experiment that few people would care to repeat. It did not stop the consumption of alcohol and only benefited criminals.
Common wisdom is now starting to say, “If you cannot lick them, join them!” Instead of fighting an increasingly losing battle, it would seem much smarter for the authorities to join the fray and try to regulate the sale of cannabis.

In North America marijuana ranges from about $150 to $400 an ounce and according to statistics, there are at least 17 million users.
That’s a lot of moolah!

Instead of letting drug dealers be the sole beneficiaries of that commerce, let legislators regulate and tax the catnip. The extra income would go a long way to fund much needed social programs.

KillerdrugBoth sides of this debate have valid arguments against and for the legalization of marijuana.
Although activists are claiming that smoking pot has no negative effects, some scientists believe otherwise. But there are no definitive answers.
As with alcohol, nobody denies that marijuana can impair vital cognitive functions.
Smoking and driving (or operate any kind of machinery) should be an absolute no-no punishable by stiff penalties.

But if marijuana can alleviate suffering in severely ill patients, they should be able to obtain it. And I surmise that it is probably less harmful than morphine.
In the same vein, if “puffing the dragon” can reduce the stress of overburdened citizens, so be it.
The key as always is moderation.

In my humble opinion, puffing on an occasional doobee is no major crime and should not be criminalized.

Alain

PS: Slaving on this little piece has exhausted me. I think that I might have a stress reducing session with Dona Juanita.

 

Humour quand tu nous tiens

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization” George Carlin

When I was a young gay blade* chasing flirtatious lasses, my pre-requisite for starting a relationship was a shared sense of humor.
I don’t deny that T & A ranked high, but it came only close second to a woman’s innate ability to laugh at things and people.

More than anything else, it was a ready smile and an easy laugh that first attracted me to a woman.
If my date proved unable or unwilling to laugh at my jokes she was out. No ifs or butts!

This pre-requisite still holds true today.

People incapable of appreciating humor rank low in my circle of acquaintances.
It is laughter that distinguishes us from animals, and if you are incapable of laughing, what does that make you?
To be true, I am not sure that dogs do not have a sense of humor. If they didn’t, why would they pee on your leg?

Sharing humor provides a sense of complicity, of belonging.
If you can laugh at the same things you have something in common and it augurs well for the future.
If you cannot, it is better to part ways quickly instead of lingering in an unhappy relationship.

practing jewIn humor there are no taboos.
One ought to be able to joke about anything; even about God (she would not mind) or religion. Especially religion! There is always a crying need to skewer this antiquated charade.

Some people are incapable of recognizing humor when it stares them in the face.
It is not just words or images that make something funny. It is their unexpected juxtaposition and context.

To appreciate humor you need to be informed. And to be informed, you need a broad vision of the world.
You cannot tune in to a single channel to have a balanced view of events.
You cannot understand jokes about the Oscars if you have not seen the Oscars.

Putin by himself is not funny. Putin riding bare-chested might elicit a smile. But Vladimir wrestling a bear should make you laugh. If you don’t, you don’t have a sense of humor and you are prime material for joining the Communist Party.

It is said that Conservatives have a much less developed sense of humor than liberals.
I wonder what humor is like in Saudi Arabia?
If you cannot joke about sex, politics or religion what is there left to laugh about?
The weather? Miley Cyrus? The Infidels?

If you are apathetic, depressed or cannot see humor around you, you need treatment.
For a modest fee I could oblige.
But you probably will not like me, for I will laugh at most of the things that you hold sacred.

No matter what, na zdarovye my friends!

Alain

*It is not what you think.
A gay blade originally referred to a dashing swordsman whose sword was often upright and at the ready. Later it was applied to any gallant young man.

Of Boobs and Bums

Do you remember Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Jayne Mansfield…
What did these Hollywood icons have in common?
Great acting skills? High intellect? Early feminists? Humanitarian crusaders?

Not exactly. All these divas were famous in great part for their large bosoms.
In those days, in order to emerge from the pack you had to show some serious cleavage (and maybe you still do).

“A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more” Jayne Mansfield.

Ever since World War II, America has been titillated by (what else?) tits.
In America bigger has always been better and girls would do almost anything to increase their assets. Insecure young girls are now anxiously waiting for their boobs to grow and begging their parents for breasts implants as a graduation gift.
Many parents oblige.

But lately, there has been a major paradigm shift. The spotlight has shifted from boobs to butts.
The popularity of large breasts has been partially eclipsed by the rise of the booty phenomenon.

CallipygeIn trade mags, celebrities (Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, etc.) are now routinely featured not necessarily because of their acting skills but more for the size of their caboose.

As seen recently on ABC news, women are now going through risky silicon injections to increase the size of their buttocks.
In their narcissistic pursuit of perfection are women now using a secret algorithm to determine the ideal size of their bottom?

Never mind selfies. Facebook is now full of lightly clad young women taking “butt selfies” that will quickly find their way on the Internet.
Why? Is it for sale?

Will a bigger tush guarantee happiness? Will a Callipygian anatomy bring home the bacon?
I could be wrong, but I always thought that a large IQ had better chances of success than a large bum.

A shapely bottom is always a pleasant sight but young women should realize that the only thing really worth expanding is the mind, and you cannot do this with silicon injections.

To bum, or not to bum, that is the question—

Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of boobs…

Bum or brains?
What would Jesus say?

Alain