Savings

A word that I have come to truly hate.

Nowadays, especially during the Holiday Season the words “Savings” is bandied about everywhere like some magic mantra.
Save, save scream the media.
And people, like the sheep of Panurge, rush to the store to “save” the money that they don’t possess.

The original meaning of the word “saving”, may I remind you, was “the money that one put aside for rainy days”.
But it seems that it rains more than usual during the Holiday Season and one is clearly forced to “save” more than usual.

Orchestrated by Big Business, the meaning of the word has gone through a perverse mutation and now “save” unequivocally means “spend”.
Go ahead, you are not spending, you are saving.

And it is always those who can least afford it that “save” the most.
Everybody has seen the pathetic images of the “savers” fighting like mad dogs over items they probably can ill afford.

A word of advice, before “saving” ask yourself the question “do I need or do I want” this thing?
A honest answer to this question might truly rescue a respectable amount of dough.

But holiday shopping has become a seasonal sport and like baseball or football it cannot be denied.
People buy season tickets and rush to the arenas the minute they open their gates.

Most of the purchases are done with credit cards, and with an interest rate hovering between 20 and 25%, people buying a large ticket item will in the long run pay much more than they thought.
So much for “savings”.

I realize that what I am saying is blasphemous. Speaking sacrilegiously about America’s core values is unpatriotic, but like Galileo I know (and so should you) that I am speaking the truth.

Me, if I feel the urge to save, I pour myself a cup of java, sit in front of my computer and far from the madding crowd, I leisurely order online what I probably don’t need (but want).
No camping outside the store and hand-to-hand combat inside for me.
I prefer to “save” in my bathrobe and in the comfort of my abode.

Alain

 

Shazam!

I have long wanted to shed a few pounds, and with the holidays fast approaching I aspired to look my best on Thanksgiving, Christmas or birthday snapshots. Who doesn’t?
But as you all very well know, losing weight is a tad more difficult than crossing the Red Sea.

Disappointed with previous meager results, I resolved to use magic to reach my goal. Like a sorcerer’s apprentice I decided to experiment with supernatural forces.
By harnessing these forces I managed to slim down my already impressive figure.

How did I manage this feat?
Did I use weird diets, strange potions or dark incantations? No, not at all.
To obtain the desired results, I endeavored to unlock the mysteries of Photoshop and its first cousin, Photoshop Elements.

I struggled for a while, but now with a few strokes of a virtual brush, I can enlarge boobs, shrink asses, slim down rotund people and remove ex-lovers from old pictures.

Due to its complexity, Photoshop is not easy to master, but the results can be impressive.
With Photoshop I can neatly place my own head on top of a young Schwarzenegger’s body or put any woman’s face on Sonia’s (Vergara) curvaceous anatomy.
I can change the color of your clothes, make your skin look as smooth as a baby’s bottom and (for a price) make somebody totally disappear.

Did this newfound power go to my head? Am I going like Vladimir Putin ride a horse bare-chested or wrestle a polar bear?
No. It is not my style. I will remain the humble, cool pétanque player I have always been.

But do not cross me. If you do, I can cut you down to size with a few strokes of my magic wand.
On my photo albums (seen the world over I might add) you could end up with Chris Christie’s body or Jocelyn Wildenstein’s (the Bride of Frankenstein) head.
Shudder!!!

So beware, I now have a nuclear option at my disposal and I am not afraid to use it.

Alain

 

Worth a thousand words…

I have now been playing pétanque regularly for the last 12 years.
Thanks to the game I have met a lot of people.
But I am the first to admit that I am not good at remembering names; I go around this shortcoming by using cheat-sheets.
Since I am a photographer, I frequently use people’s snapshots to jog my memory and put a name on a face.

I don’t think I am alone in this respect. Out of sight, out of mind goes the saying.
If you don’t see people on a regular basis, their faces tend to fade away.

It is for this reason that I decided to put together a book featuring various Bay Area pétanque players. To keep memories alive.

IMG_3268 - Version 2This album is also a paean to pétanque. One of its purposes is to display exciting pictures of the game and incite undecided individuals to join our brotherhood.

I chose the books’ pictures according to certain criteria.
First and foremost, I wanted to feature “action shots”.
I wanted to showcase the excitement of the game by focusing on players in action, and by showing “boules” standing dramatically still in the air for a fraction of a second before streaking towards their targets.

Next, I wanted to feature people displaying a “good form”, an elegant demonstration of athletic ability.
I think that an elegant stance is easier on the eye than an awkward one.

Finally, I wanted the pictures to be well focused and devoid of annoying shadows.
Not as easy as you might think.

IMG_0128 copyWith advancing age, older players start coming to the field less frequently until one day they completely stop coming.
And then they trek to the great pétanque field in the sky.

With each passing day, their memory becomes fuzzier and fuzzier until one day we struggle to remember them at all.
This colorful book makes it is easier to identify and reminisce about the present and the sometimes forgotten players of yesteryear.

Winston Churchill said, “History is written by the victors”.

Personally I believe that it is photographers who report history most accurately and through their pictures, make the most lasting impression.
Hence, this collection of images.

Alain

PS: To look at photos of people included in this book, click on “My Photos“.

PS2: If you would like to obtain a copy of this book please let me know.