Category: Fourre-tout

I don’t get it.
Why would anybody bankroll a schlocky movie that few people will ever care to watch?Making a movie costs beaucoup bucks, doesn’t it? So why would anybody sink millions in turkeys that will never fly?
This is rather puzzling…

Like thousands of people, I am a Netflix subscriber.
For about $11.00 a month I can watch as many movies as I like.
But what kind of movies? Critically acclaimed flicks?
Heck no, mostly B movies, which were probably never shown in movie theaters.
And there are thousands of them… all competing for “Razzies” (worst in film) awards.

If you want something more stimulating, better turn to adult entertainment.
What’s nice about porno movies is the fact that the plots are never overly taxing and that unlike foreign movies you don’t need subtitles.
Everybody can easily follow the story line without intensive mental exertion.

In a typical plot, a guy rings a doorbell and a bare breasted babe in high heels opens the door. The guy mumbles something about being lost and needing directions, and before you know it, they are both naked on the couch performing Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo, the Rabbit’s Stomp, the Milkmaid’s Fantasy and various sex acts outlawed in forty-five states.

In another plot, a half naked woman catches a cat burglar in the act, and after scolding him, she forces him to submit to her libidinous cravings.

In most cases dialogues are superfluous. The wailing, panting and moaning heard in the background are only here to highlight “the artistic merit” of the protagonists.

Now, what so bad about those movies?
They are highly moralistic and occasionally educational.
In the first plot, it is clearly demonstrated that you should never talk to strangers, and in the second it illustrates the fact that crime doesn’t pay and that you will always have to pay for your misdeeds.

These movies can also be educational. You might discover new stimulating sexual positions besides the well worn “missionary” and the “let’s do it like animals” standbys.

Erotica has also proven to be highly spiritual. The characters of these sexual romps have often been known to cry out the name of the Lord at crucial moments. How many acclaimed movies can claim that distinction?

So in conclusion, as long as they are paying taxes and do not hurt children or small animals, adults should have the option to live vicariously by watching highly improbable but entertaining sexual romps.

We are not living under bearded, repressed, censorious mullahs… yet.

Alain

Due to prior commitments I could not attend this event, but I managed to twice sneak away from family obligations and come to the field to witness the semi-finals and the finals of this tournament.

Six Bay Area pétanque clubs sent their champions to participate in this event. They were:

Valley of the Moon (Sonoma)
Jean-Michel Poulnot, Peter Wellington, Mike Cooper, Adair Hastings, Narin Garrett, Barbara Hall, Bernard Passmar, Holly Sammons, Frosty Sabo, Kevin Evoy, Dave Lanter, Alan Bauermeister.

La Pétanque Marinière (San Rafael)
Jean-Claude Etallaz, Colette Van Der Meulen, Sabine Mattei, Helga Facchini, Eva Lofaro, Henry Wessel, Genevieve Etallaz, Louis Toulon, Calvert Barron, Antoine Lofaro, David Riffo, Francois Moser.

Lamorinda
Carolina Jones, Dollzee Austin, Robert Belforte, Beth Lysten, Philippe Guerit, Bill Hansen

La Boule d’Or (San Francisco)
Jean-Claude Bunand, Alain Gusella, Danielle Gusella, Luc Pouget.

Sacramento
Helen McGill, Marie-Anne Curley, Lisa Vaughn, Simone Furlan, Kevin McGill, John Morris.

Petaluma
Steven Jones, Ed Porto, Jim Johnson, Christine Jones, Nancy Jencks, Kathy Stone, Hans Kurz, Bleys Rose, Les Stone, Wolfie Kurz.

As I was told, 3 doublettes games were originally played and individual scores were kept for each player.

Then, the 3 highest scorers of each club were chosen to compete against the 3 highest scorers of the other clubs.

**********

In the semi-finals, San Rafael (Jean-Claude Etallaz, Calvert Barron and Antoine Lofaro) faced Petaluma (Hans Kurz, Wolfie Kurz and Bleys Rose).

The coin toss to choose the playing area was won by Petaluma; they shrewdly elected to compete in the most demanding surface of the field.
It is an area where previously stood a tall tree. The tree was removed and the resulting hole was filled with a mixture of sand and gravel. A dangerous sand trap for inexperienced players. But a serious advantage for Petaluma contestants whose field is essentially covered with sand and gravel.

Usually reliable pointer Calvert Barron struggled to place winning shots and her teammates were powerless to fill the gap.

At 3:37 p.m. Petaluma was leading 9/1
At 4:00 p.m. it was over.
La Pétanque Marinière lost to Petaluma with the dismal score of 13/3.

In the finals, Petaluma faced Sonoma (Peter Wellington, Holly Sammons, Frosty Sabo).

The game was played away from the sandpit, and with well-balanced teams on each side it felt more like the finals of a tournament.
Both teams had good pointers (Holly and Hans) and good shooters (Peter and Wolfie).

During the entire game, scores went back and forth between the two teams.

At 4:40 p.m. Petaluma was leading 8/2
At 5:00 Sonoma closed the gap with Petaluma only leading 10/9
At 5:13 Sonoma took the lead 12/10
At 5:30 Petaluma scored 3 points and won the game by the skin of their teeth with a final score of 13/12.

Heartbreaking for Sonoma but well deserved victory for a resilient Petaluma team.

Petaluma we hate you! Congratulations!

 Hans Kurz, Bleys Rose, Wolfie Kurz

Drinks and “amuse-gueules” were served after the tournament.

Alain

PS: If you wish to leave a comment about this little piece, double-click on the grey “speech bubble” located on the right of the title and leave your remarks in the designated area. Thank you.

 

I am not asking about your chronological age (measured from birth to present) but about your biological age.

“Your Biological Age is different from your Chronological age because it includes the speed at which a person is aging.”

I am wondering about this because the other day I went for my annual flu shot and I encountered more elderly citizens that day than I usually do in a six months period. The clinic looked like a geezer’s convention minus the “escort” girls.
I spent at least twenty uncomfortable minutes surrounded by a bunch of old (at least looking old) people and I started to reflect on that.
Do I look like them? Do I walk like them? Am I (shudder) one of them?

“O horror, horror, horror! Tongue nor heart
Cannot conceive nor name thee!” 

I am not afraid to say it; I am prejudiced. I am prejudiced (among many other things) against boring people, and unfortunately many older folks are.

It is when you lose touch with what’s happening around you that you become boring. Failing to keep interested in politics, finance, technology or sex will make you a dull, uninteresting person.
Then, in a conversation, what else could you talk about besides your blood pressure and your prescriptions drugs?

And you don’t have to be old to be that way.
Some people at 50 look older than some septuagenarians and they are of course excruciatingly boring. In other words, to be given a wide berth.

Ageing is due to many factors, but to slow down that process you need a fair amount of physical activity and mental gymnastic. You need to stimulate your neurons to keep them humming along.

And above all, you need a good sense of humor.

“It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.”  Robert Benchley

It is said that humorless people die young and it is a scientific fact that dead people seldom laugh.

Famed vaudevillian George Burns who lived to be 100 never lost it. He continued to work and be amusing until his demise.

The age you feel often determines your life’s outlook and your attitude.
If you feel old, you will act old.

But if there is a spring in your step, a bounce in your mind and if you still ogle the girls, you are on the right track.
You are not old; you are a valuable collector’s item.

Alain

PS: If you wish to leave a comment about this little piece, double-click on the grey “speech bubble” located to the right of the title and leave your remarks in the designated area.
Thank you.