Category: Fourre-tout

As I have stated many times before, I am a doubting Thomas. I refuse to believe most everything without a direct personal experience.

In life I favor Cartesian logic, a philosophy rooted in mathematics. If things don’t add up properly, they are not credible.
It is as simple as this and that’s the way cold-blooded businessmen operate. They can pretend that they are devout individuals, but in business they will demand more concrete evidence than mere faith.

If I go to my banker and ask for a million dollar loan, he will undoubtedly ask me how I would repay it, or what kind of collateral I would use.
I don’t have any money, I would tell him, but God will provide.
If the banker didn’t laugh outright, he would certainly demand more proof of solvency.
I don’t have much, I would say, but you can use my life as collateral.
The banker would then point out that life is cheap (certainly not worth a million bucks) and that he very much doubts that the Almighty would help.

That’s why I am an atheist.
And that’s why I fail to understand why so many people blindly follow the worn out precepts of any religion.
How can you believe what nobody has ever been able to prove?
Miracles? Blind faith? Those are definitely not my cup of altar wine.

Anybody is entitled to think whatever they want, but I strenuously object to be imposed upon by any form of theocracy.
And that is the ultimate goal of any religious establishment: impose their biased, self-serving ways on everyone.

Nobody is infallible and no leader can ever claim to detain the absolute truth.
Personally, I claim the right to mock anybody I please without having to fear stoning, beheading or crucifixion.

About five centuries ago, the Spanish Inquisition started a reign of terror and tortured and put to death anybody who was not deemed a “true” Christian.
Now ISIS (the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria) is doing the same (even worse) to those who are not “true” Muslims.
What kind of barbarous charade is this?

To live harmoniously with our neighbors we don’t need “guardians of the faith”. We need social workers and technocrats (an elite of technical experts) not a bunch of self-important, retrograde, bloodthirsty ignoramuses.

 

If you desperately need help with your computer, I would recommend calling for technical assistance rather than imploring  divine providence.
It has proven to work much more expeditiously.

But again, to each his own.

Alain

My favorite debunker:

How is your hypothalamus?
“A region of the forebrain below the thalamus that coordinates both the autonomic nervous system and the activity of the pituitary, controlling body temperature, thirst, hunger, and other homeostatic systems, and involved in sleep and emotional activity.”

I am asking because my wife’s thermostat and mine are out of synch. I am cold when she is hot, and hot when she is cold.
«Bolshaya problema» as Putin (Tamara’s Godfather) would say.

It might have something to do with her inbred spirit of contradiction, but it could possibly be something else.
My research revealed that medication, illness, muscle mass and age can be big factors contributing to this adversarial condition.

OK, so how do you cope with this problem?

You can look fairly at your mate and offer constructive suggestions.
The problem is that she will undoubtedly do the same thing and when two people offer “helpful” solutions at the same time, it can lead to a sudden and calamitous drop of ambient temperature.

She insists on leaving windows (doors, drawers) open year round and I demand some sometimes stale but warm environment.
Let’s not forget that she was reared in St Petersburg, Russia, where the average temperature in winter is 20°Fahrenheit and where people like to frolic (sans bathing suit) in the Neva river.

I on the other hand grew up in Paris where the weather is usually milder and where the Seine is too polluted for a dip, even with a “hazmat” suit.

I am a cold-blooded creature (a reptilian?) depending on external energy sources while she is a mammalian (generating heat internally) with lava gushing through her veins.

I could argue that “hot flashes” might have something to do with her condition, but she would probably counter that I am going through another andropausal episode.

We could bicker forever, but I think that it is safe to say that this is no one’s particular problem.
We are both (shall I dare to say it) “deviants”.
Not much we can do about that.

In the meantime, if your mate complains about heat or cold, blame it on a faulty hypothalamus and apply for a refund.

Warmly,

Alain

PS: When my cat cooperates (sometimes she does) I love to use her as a foot warmer.

Many people are led to believe that the French motto is « Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité ».
I believed it myself for a long time. But I was wrong.

In reality, unbeknownst to many (and going back to 1936), the French motto actually is: Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Congés Payés (paid leave).
And you have Leon Blum and The Popular Front to thank for that.
Even Republicans, sworn enemies of Socialism have no qualms about taking advantage of Leon’s kindness.
Hypocrites!

Every year, rain or shine, the word “vacation” will pop up in a conversation and get everybody in a tizzy.
We should go there and do that! Fine.
But people have widely different ideas of what a vacation is.

When in doubt, I consult Siri, my devoted assistant. When queried, she said in her mellifluous voice: “Vacation, leisure time away from work devoted to rest or pleasure”.
Thank you doll. You are the best!
She is! I can always rely on her.

All right then, a vacation is a time to relax, to recharge one’s battery, most of the time in some sunny, exotic place.
Some people are happy to go to a resort and decompress for a week or two.
For others, a vacation cannot be anything else but a marathon akin to “Survivors” or the “Amazing Race”.

Every minute of the trip has got to be filled with excitement bordering on insane fear.
Bungee jumping, skydiving, high lining, rock climbing, hot air balloon rides…
Resting is for sissies. It is anathema to true vacation aficionados.

To me, a vacation is “an extended period of restful recreation”.
I don’t have to fill every minute of my time with daredevil stunts or shopping safaris. P & P (Pétanque and Pastis) and ogling lightly clad wenches is plenty stimulating for me.
No shop until I drop either.

Americans are real amateurs when it comes to vacations. They check with the State Department before venturing out of Ohio.
When talking to French friends, I am sometimes surprised to hear “in our last trip to St Helena Island, Nunavut or Ittoqqortoormiit …”

Because those crazy bastards will go anywhere; the more remote and exotic the better. Never mind hot spots. We are French; we cannot be bothered by your stupid tribal conflicts.
Very often though, they will end up chained in some dark dungeon and beg the French government to get them out.
And the French government will oblige and pay a hefty ransom to scumbags (and be severely criticized for it) to get them back.

To each his own of course, but if you are planning to visit seven countries in 2 days, count me out.
Old stones, underground caves and culinary delights yes, non-stop adrenaline kicks NIET!

Camarero, one more mojito, por favor!

Alain

https://youtu.be/Nf9gh5Of45s