Category: Fourre-tout

A little bit of everything

Will this insanity ever stop?

August 28, 2014
“A 9-year-old girl fatally shot a gun instructor with an Uzi this week at a shooting range in Arizona that caters to tourists. Charles Vacca, 39, was standing to the girl’s left when she lost control of the weapon. The girl’s parents were recording a cell phone video of the incident, which was turned over to the local sheriff’s department.”

uziPersonally I think that you have to be completely off your rocker to let a 9-year-old handle an Uzi, or any kind of firearm for that matter.

Almost daily somebody dies by gunshot in America.
Each time there is a shooting, people shed some (crocodile?) tears, hold a vigil, build an improvised shrine and put the entire incident out of their minds.
Even after mass shootings, few officials will talk about the need to curb the insane proliferation of firearms in America.

Life is becoming increasingly challenging and stressful. Those who don’t succeed often blame their coworkers for their failures.
Their grudges it seems can only be resolved by a blood bath.

There is nothing virile about toting a gun. As a matter of fact, it might be a lack of natural virility that pushes some people to ostentatiously carry a gun.

If you are so enamored of guns, there are plenty of conflicts around the world where you could fire your beloved gun to your heart’s content.
The only caveat is that the people you shoot at will shoot back in return.
This is not what gun-toting people want.

They want to intimidate without fear of retaliation.
And so far they are succeeding. And why is that?

Because thanks to the National Riffle Association and its pro-gun stand, it is so laughingly easy to purchase a gun in America.

According to Claire McCaskill, US senator from Missouri “The NRA grades senators and representatives based on their votes on gun issues – and even on issues that have little-to-nothing to do with guns.”

In other words, if you are an elected official with an anti-gun stand, the NRA will target you and pour money to defeat you in the next election.
If you are pro-gun, the NRA will embrace you and do everything necessary to have you re-elected.
It is a simple as that, and it is very effective.

With their career and livelihood at stake, few senators have the backbone to stand up to the NRA.

The only way to succeed would be to neutralize the influence of the gun lobby.
And the way to do this would be to “out” the names of the wealthy NRA donors and the amount of money they donated.

Popular outcry and public shame might be the only way to weaken the grip of the gun lobby and to prevent future bloodsheds.

Alain

 

The taming of the shrew

“Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners.”
Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

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I totally agree with you, milord! Loud laughter is boorish and betrays a substandard upbringing.

the-taming-of-the-shrewI am not misogynous but sometimes I feel like hitting some women on the head with a telephone book to stop them from making a spectacle on themselves in public places.
They screech and laugh so loudly that it sounds like Improvised Explosive Devices exploding in the room.
It is an embarrassment to everybody around, especially to servicemen who instinctively jumped under their table.

A high-pitched laugh is difficult to take, especially in the morning (when you are still in a slumbering haze) or in the evening, when you try to unwind.
What is it? Exhibitionism? A desperate cry for attention? Look at me, I just got a new haircut, a new dress, new boobs… Look at me!

Put four women together in a room and you have a very combustible situation. The tinniest spark could ignite an explosion.

Contrarily to what has been taught in many schools, it was not men who stormed the Bastille in 1789. I am pretty sure that 60% of the rioters were bored housewives.
They probably texted each other: let’s get together girls, have a drink, suck on a joint and have fun… I know a bistro near La Bastille…

And what do you think happened after a few drinks and a few puffs of Maui Wowie?

They all went crazy, hit a few taverns before joining some drunks hollering for more booze.
A drunken woman has the strength of half a dozen men. You can imagine what they did to the Swiss Guards and the fortress.

As I said before, I like women, but women who behave according to the rules of the Marquess of Queensberry.
No low blows, no head butting and no shrieking or screaming.

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
Groucho Marx

That’s what I often think when I see (and especially hear) women lapsing into hysterics.

Alain

PS: Excuse me ladies for kvetching, but after a rather painful incident I had to get it off my chest. No hard feelings.

Geese piece

“My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog.” Alex O’Loughlin

Some of my neighbors are geese. Canada (not Canadian) geese.
I first met them a few years ago in the Las Gallinas Valley Sanitary District. There were hundreds of them quietly resting on the water like a mighty armada.
I have visited them almost daily ever since.

IMG_6818In the molting season (June-July) geese lose their wing feathers and are unable to fly. During this time they loiter in a remote trail area, ready to take to the water if they feel threatened, and there are enough bird droppings on the ground to fertilize a football field.

When meeting them, I thread carefully though their ranks to continue my stroll. They eye me a little suspiciously, moving just at the last minute to let me through.

They are relatively unafraid of people but could become aggressive if they felt that their young were threatened.
To this day I still vividly remember when as a child I was terrorized by a big gander, and I have always kept a healthy respect for these elegant birds.

In August, after the molting interlude, geese are generally able to soar again and they often take to the air to practice flying.
They are excellent flyers, capable of going long distances without stopping.
“They can cover 1,500 miles (2,400 kilometers) in just 24 hours with a favorable wind, but typically travel at a much more leisurely rate.”
They travel in V formations to boost their range and efficiency, just as military planes learned to do.

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Geese are pretty vocal. Unlike ducks, they loudly debate what to do before taking off and continue talking while flying. You can hear them chattering from a great distance.
-Hey Gertrude, I am getting tired, can you take the lead?
-Sure Oscar. No worries.
-Thanks a bunch Gertie.
-Anytime Oscar.

IMG_6983Geese mate for life. They only chose another partner if their mate dies or is killed.
I didn’t know many of these things until I checked the Internet to verify a few facts.

What I vaguely remembered from my student days though, was that geese saved many Romans lives when the Gauls attacked them around B.C. 390.
“The tradition is that when the Gauls invaded Rome a detachment in single file clambered up the hill of the Capitol so silently that the foremost man reached the top without being challenged; but while he was striding over the rampart, some sacred geese, disturbed by the noise, began to cackle, and awoke the garrison.
Marcus Manlius rushed to the wall and hurled the fellow over the precipice. To commemorate this event, the Romans carried a golden goose in procession to the Capitol every year (B.C. 390).”

Geese can be loud but so what? Don’t you have neighbors (and relatives) like that?

Alain