Category: Fourre-tout

“If you’re losing, just be a man; be a man and lose as a man.” Marat Safin

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Pétanque is a game that is usually played in formations of 2 or 3 players per team.
In “singles” events though, for better or for worse, you are on your own.
If you lose you have nobody to blame but yourself and you might discover (surprise) that you are not as hot as you thought you were.
For some, it can be a sobering experience.

But no matter what, Lady Luck has to smile on you.
If she is grumpy, boules will behave unpredictably. At the last second they might veer to the right or to the left and miss the intended target by a wide margin.
On the other hand, if the Bitch Lady fancies you, no matter how badly you play you will come ahead.

Mental preparation is very important.
Personally, before a big tournament I lay flowers, food and perfume on the Lady’s altar.
I also shave my head, burn incense and assume the Lotus Position.
It is said that it enhances concentration, increases motivation, boosts confidence and heightens sexual desire (do I need this before a game?). Never mind…
And then I intone a powerful mantra: “the pox on my opponents, the pox on my opponents…”
If I lose (perish the thought), I would like to think that I have done everything to win.

The biggest thing I learned from losing? Winning’s better. Ted Turner

But I am digressing…

In last Sunday’s tournament the men competitors were as follows:

1. Alain Efron, 2. Bee Moua, 3. Ed Porto, 4. Brendan Cohen, 5. Phominik Lee, 6. Yor Lee, 7. Henry Wessel, 8. Noel Marcovechio, 9. Kevin Evoy, 10. Patrick Vaslet, 11. Philippe Arnaud, 12. Paul Yang, 13. Wolfie Kurz, 14. Jean Claude Etallaz, 15. Mickey Coughlin, 16. Paul Moua, 17. Pao Ly, 18. Bleys Rose, 19. Louis Toulon, 20. Brian Williams, 21. Chan Xiong, 22. J.M. Poulnot, 23. Jer Thao, 24. Peter Mathis, 25. Alan Bauermeister.

On the women side we had:

1.Teri Sirico, 2. Holly Sammons, 3. Marie-Anne Curley, 4. Chia Vang, 5. Brigitte Moran, 6. Christine Cragg, 7. Shannon Bowman, 8. Sabine Mattei, 9. Carolina Jones, 10. Lisa Vaughn.

Three games were played in the morning to separate the hot shots from the small fry. The “hot shots” qualified for the Concours and the small fry played in the Consolante.

My personal tragedy odyssey: on my first game I was pounded to the ground 1/13 by Mickey Coughlin, the ogre of the Redwood Empire. Very inauspicious beginning.
On my second game I faced a friendly fellow named Paul Moua and I managed to win 13/4.
On my third game, I faced tenacious Bleys Rose and finally managed to subjugate(?) him 13/10.
I  managed to qualify for the Concours.

In the afternoon I came across Wolfie Kurz and it was a tight game until the end where he was leading 10/9.
At this time, the game could have swung both ways.
On my last hand, I pointed very poorly and Wolfie took advantage of me. He beat me 13/9.
I was out of the tournament.

It was time to put Sneaky Pete and Big bertha to work.

On the men side, in the semi-finals:
Paul Yang beat Mickey Coughlin 13/4
Louis Toulon beat Peter Mathis 13/8

In the men’s’ final, Louis Toulon faced Paul Yang.
It was a great match and the final score was in doubt until the very end of the set.

Louis Toulon (a veteran player) held his own against Paul, a gifted and very nice fellow.
Both players played extremely well and the crowd roared its approval.
Paul Yang finally won by a score of 13/11.

Great match. A pleasure to watch.

The women’s finals were also extremely exciting.
Holly Sammons faced Chia Vang (Paul’s wife) and the game was also extremely close.
Holly finally managed to clutch the title by a score of 13/11.

In the Concours:

1^st place: Paul Yang
2^nd place: Louis Toulon
3^rd place: Kevin Evoy

In the Consolante:

1^st place: Patrick Vaslet
2^nd place: Alan Bauermeister
3^rd place: Brendan Cohen

On the Women’s side:

Concours:

1^st place: Holly sammons
2^nd place Chia Vang
3^rd place: Carolina Jones

Consolante:

1^st place; Lisa Vaughn
2^nd place: Christine Cragg

It was a great day of pétanque. Those who didn’t show up missed a great tournament.

Enjoy the pictures.

Alain

PS: On a more serious note:

Fighting spam
Gmail is working very hard to fight spam.
To help keeping this junk off of the Internet, Gmail bounces back mail that they think is spam.
It is for this reason that I cannot anymore send messages to a large number of people at the same time.

Gmail urged me to create a special group (that I called “My Blog Faithful”) and ask each recipient to accept messages coming from me.
I have sent you (and I will send you again) a message (originating from My Blog Faithful) asking you to accept my mailing.

If you want to keep receiving new postings from me, you need to accept to be on my mailing list.
When you will receive this message, simply click on “Accept” and you will continue receiving my postings.

Thank you for your attention.

“First do no harm”

I have been at the Lake for a few days (I hope that you missed me), but I am back, full of piss and vinegar.

A few days ago, I was involved in a freakish little mishap.
While backing out of my carport, I hit (or was hit) by my neighbor who was also pulling out of her own parking area.
Since our cars are parked in a perpendicular manner, I didn’t see anything in my rearview mirror and she didn’t see me either.
There was just this sudden sickening sound of crunched metal plastic and the deafening sound of silence when we both stopped.
Whose fault was it? I don’t know.

What I do know though, is that (after seeing an appraiser) this innocent little fender bender will cost just about $3000.00 to fix.
I probably could buy a good used previously owned car for that price.

I called my insurance company and was promptly told that my premium would go up.
Foul! Double foul!

I have not had any accident for the last 30 years but the insurance company doesn’t want to hear that. It eagerly collected my money during all that time without a word of thanks and will continue to do so.
Now, at the first little mishap they have the audacity to penalize me by raising my premium.
I ask you ladies and gentlemen, is that fair? But I have not said my last word…

What is the definition of “insurance” anyway? Merriam-Webster, my faithful bedside companion says:

“A practice or arrangement by which a company or government agency provides a guarantee of compensation for specified loss, damage, illness, or death in return for payment of a premium.”

Not bad, but I found a better definition:

“Insurance – an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.” Ambrose Bierce

In other words, the game is rigged. And it is legal…
If you ask me, insurance is a big Ponzi scheme.

And what about medical insurance? Isn’t it a big rip-off?

“I basically believe the medical insurance industry should be nonprofit, not profit-making. There is no way a health reform plan will work when it is implemented by an industry that seeks to return money to shareholders instead of using that money to provide health care.”
Dianne Feinstein, California US Senator

 Right on Dianne! Exactly my feeling. Why do you think that I voted Democrat for all these years?

I am not a Socialist, but I believe that medical care should not be tied to profit. It is an unholy alliance that has a sulfurous smell.

The Hippocratic Oath says “First, do no harm” but charging an arm and a leg (and probably a kidney) for a medical procedure is doing great harm to the population at large.

Good healthcare should not be the sole prerogative of the wealthy.

But enough ranting for today.
My little problem as you well know, is nothing compared to the BIG gun problem facing America.

Alain

Today I purchased a new iPhone. The iPhone 6S that is. A gizmo that no metrosexual (a young, urban, heterosexual male with liberal political views, an interest in fashion, and a refined sense of taste) – I think that I closely match this description- can do without.
Not that I really need this gadget, but at my age I still want something to brag about.

I will celebrate this occasion by randomly calling a bunch of strangers to let them know the good news.
I will also try to reach the Pope. I have been told that he is a very understanding man and will talk to just about anybody. Why not me, even though I am a confirmed pagan?

The process of getting the new phone was extremely smooth.
About a week ago I made a reservation on line to get a new phone and Apple obliged me by setting a date and a time for our encounter.
My date was Friday, September 25^th at 2:00 pm.

I showed up to the Corte Madera store at 1:50 pm and after showing my credentials I was asked to wait a few minutes. I waited no longer than 5 minutes. Then a very knowledgeable young man took me in charge and started the sale and installation processes.
Apple also gave me a credit of $165.00 for my old 5S phone and 30 minutes later I was on my way home.
I was truly tickled pink red with the smoothness of the process.
Jolly good show Apple!

Everybody who is anybody has got to have a cell phone. Not the antique flip phone mind you, but a smartphone that will faithfully obey your every command.
Siri, bring me my slippers!
Yes master.
That’s what a call a smart phone.

Parents who want to keep up with the Joneses start providing cell phones to their offspring as early as kindergarten. It is for their protection they say.
No matter that Johnny barely remember where he lives.

I noticed that men and women carry their phones differently. Men usually keep them in a pocket but women carry their phones in the open, like protecting amulets.

If bothered by ruffians they point their phones in the direction of the intruder while saying loudly “Vade retro satana”.
It does not always work. Sometimes the criminal grabs the phone and run.
But then according to Apple, you can neutralize the device and render it useless by using the lethal Kill Switch.
Does the phone self destroy? I hope so.

Before I leave you, a little rib tickler:

“After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, “Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?” “I found the remote cell phone,” he mumbled.”

GGPBL (Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!)

Alain