A few days ago, somebody I knew fairly well passed away.
I learned about it through an e-mail from my ex-wife.
Oddly enough it left me cold. It left me unmoved because our old bond withered and broke a long time ago.
But such is the way of relationships. Just like living things they live and die. When properly nurtured, they thrive. When neglected, they shrivel and disintegrate.
Relationships are born out of a common desire to share and enjoy similar interests. It could be food, art, sport, sex, anything that two people take pleasure in doing together.
But relationships are eminently fragile and fraught with perils.
As the French say:
« En amour Il y a toujours celui qui embrasse et celui qui tend la joue » (in love there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek).
After many kisses, one gets tired of getting the cheek.
Because relationships, regardless how neatly packaged, are always a trade. And to be durable, the balance of payments should be even.
Subconsciously or not, one keeps track of shared experiences.
If it is perceived that the relationship is lopsided, ties will fray and break.
If when going go to a restaurant with a friend, you always end up with the tab, a few strands of the rope will break.
Relationships are like tango: it takes two to do it properly.
The minute one seems to lose interest, it is up to the other person to sense it and to rekindle the romance. If it is not mended on a timely basis, the relationship, like an old hemp rope, will unravel and break.
And that’s what happened to my old connection. It seems that neither of us were keen to pursue a limping partnership, so we parted ways.
It happened a long time ago.
Now, no crocodile tears shed, just the fading memory of things past.