Category: Fourre-tout

A little bit of everything

Computer Syntax

 

Treat your password like your toothbrush.  Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.  ~Clifford Stoll

? ????

A computer is like a good butler, but unlike its human counterpart it is extremely fastidious. It absolutely does not allow any error. If you have a poor penmanship and if on top of this you are a sloppy speller, you are bound to have a very difficult relationship with your manservant.

In computer language nothing is inconsequential. A period, a comma, a semi-colon, a forward slash, an uppercase… nothing, absolutely nothing can be overlooked, especially when it comes to passwords.
Like an ornery donkey, your computer will refuse to go anywhere if you cannot correctly provide the right carrot.

A little while ago I had to transfer my web-hosting outfit to another company. What looked like an easy task turned out to be an absolute nightmare. And I have (unfortunately) nobody to blame but myself.

During the migrating process I omitted to insert a semi-colon in some specific area and the computer obstinately refused to obey any of my commands.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there’s no law against whacking them around a little. ~Eric Porterfield

I was about to whack the beast, when I finally spotted the error. One added keystroke and the problem was resolved, but this incident clearly demonstrates the utmost importance of each character.

In this day and age your email address is your window to the world, and you cannot when asked for it, hurriedly scribble illegible characters on a piece of paper. You need to print everything very carefully and make sure that every symbol is unmistakably correct.

If you want to get along with your computer, treat it the way you want to be treated, with utmost respect.
Some people kneel and appeal to statues made of stone. I prefer to bow respectfully before my gentleman’s gentleman each time its services are required.

Alain ?

PS: Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.  

Of boobs and babes

 

“Girls have got balls. They’re just a little higher up, that’s all.” ― Joan Jett

? ????

The world of entertainment is extremely fond of award ceremonies. The last time I checked I counted 24 of them. Twenty-four a year, in America only. And I am not including Cannes, La Mostra di Venezia, the Nika Award and whatever is happening in Latin America.
That comes if I am not mistaken to about one ceremony every 15 days.

With awards hanging from just about every tree in Hollywood, if an actor doesn’t manage to snare a trophy within 2 or 3 years of his career, he/she better quit the business. He is not good enough or not whorish enough.

Each award ceremony showcases so-called “beautiful people” who all try to outdo each other.
During the awards presentation, men are now soulfully kissing each other and women… women are showing their boobs. Even if you are nobody, a good boob display (even a side boob view) will nevertheless put you in the limelight.
Each ceremony has essentially become a glorified Booborama.

I have nothing against breasts mind you and I am rather fond of them but it is the girls’ look of contrived innocence that bothers me.
My boobs are sticking out? Oh I didn’t notice…
You didn’t notice? With no bra and a blouse open to the navel?

I know that we are not supposed to stare, but what can you do when these things are poking you in the eye? Staring at a woman’s breasts, Seinfeld once said, “…is like looking at the sun. You’re supposed to just take one peek and then look away!”

But boobs, due to their wicked aura, still fascinate and the ingénues know it. It is undeniable that they are using their feminine wiles to attract attention.
But they have to be careful: not all boobs are born equal; if they are not up to snuff catty critics will suggest to keep those “assets” in their holster.

I might be speaking out of jealousy… Men cannot pull off such derring-do deeds. I don’t think that they could show up on the podium with an open shirt revealing a hairy chest, or going panty less…
Well you never know… Thinking about it, I suspect that many men go commando with just a thin layer of material protecting the public.

The purpose of showbiz is to captivate, and as long as society frowns on bare breasts, nymphets will do their wicked best to direct your stare to a hazardous area that might induce temporary blindness.

Alain 

“I’m in showbiz. I look at my boobs like they’re show horses or show dogs. You’ve got to keep them groomed.” Dolly Parton

Hooked atoms


“There can be little liking where there is no likeness.” Aesop

? ????

Have you ever heard the French expression « Avoir les atomes crochus »?
It could be loosely translated as, “to have hooked atoms” (to have a lot in common with somebody).

Well, it seems that my own atoms don’t easily hook with somebody else’s molecules.
I like animals. Furry or feathery, I like them all and I am pretty sure that they like me as well. We seem to have an affinity, a spontaneous, natural liking for each other.

The same mutual affection does not seem to equally apply to people. While I almost universally fancy horses, cows, pigs, cats, dogs, chickens, ducks, etc. I find myself far pickier when it comes to humans.

We often feel sympathy for someone because of shared characteristics such as language, culture, religion, politics, sports, cuisine, a wicked sense of humor. Before committing myself I need to sense that we share some common experiences. If this link is missing, it makes a relationship much more knottier.

“I generally find an affinity with a lot of the people I play and I suppose if I didn’t feel an affinity for them then they wouldn’t be particularly good performances.” Hugo Weaving

 I agree. If I am paired with someone for a tournament, and if I feel that we are not on the same wavelength, I won’t play my best game. Similarly, if I feel a lack of cordiality on the other side I won’t play well either. I think that I am we are at our best when we perform in a friendly environment.

Men often get along with men better than they fare with women, and vice versa. It is expected; they have more in common.
Couples very often (besides sexual attraction) don’t have anything in common and this type of relationship is doomed from the beginning.

With all the goodwill in the world, I couldn’t become closely acquainted with a person who sits on the floor, eats with his hands, speaks some foreign dialect and refers to God every three minutes. Sorry about that !
My atoms don’t like to be pushed around. In order to hook with yours, they need to feel some commonality.

If you could stop mispronouncing “déjà vu”, randomly pet dogs in the street and like oysters, “I think that this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.“

Alain ?