Category: Fourre-tout

A little bit of everything

The delight of opening a new pursuit…

Consciously or not, every person longs for novelty; for something fresh and unfamiliar that will bring excitement into a monotonous existence. If that longing is not satisfied, dormant Boredom will awake and nag you.
It is a common ailment that can affect humans and animals alike. It silently creeps up on you and insidiously morphs people and animals into unhappy individuals.

Happiness is a dedicated leg warmer

Regardless how contented you are, some day soon you will feel bored, hankering for some novelty. It could be a new phone, a new car, a new job… a new surgery (ha ha ha) even a new relationship…
It does not mean that you don’t like your mate anymore. It simply means that you want to experience something different, something new to spice up an uneventful routine. This is the so-called mid-life crisis affecting mainly quadragenarians and described by the French as “le démon de midi” (middle-aged lust).

Novelty serves us for a kind of refreshment, and takes off from that satiety we are apt to complain of in our usual and ordinary entertainments. Joseph Addison

Just like children getting tired of their toys, grownups get bored with theirs. They need a steady stream of adrenaline shots to feel content. Some vacations can fill that void, but temporarily.

“Leave home, leave the country, leave the familiar. Only then can routine experience—buying bread, eating vegetables, even saying hello—become new all over again.” ― Anthony Doerr

Novelty is the antidote to boredom. One must acquire new toys on a regular basis to feel gratified and Amazon shrewdly tapped into that vein; it provides the perfect channel for that craving. You just have to click a button and kindly Uncle Amazon will oblige. No questions asked and it is much more efficient than Santa’s old routine. No letter to write and no anxious waiting period. You can satisfy your longing and play with your new toy within days.

The key to fend off Demon Boredom is planning ahead. One should always have something to look forward to. When I was skiing in France, I remember hearing French people already talking about their upcoming summer vacation.
That’s the way to do it. Plan your future like a D-Day operation. Every month storm a new beach… or a new restaurant.

If you are not careful, “le démon de midi” might creep into your home and wreck havoc with your quiet, happily boring life.

Alain

Keep the wind in your cell

No self-respecting teen would ever think of showing up in school without a cell phone; it would be too gauche, too weird, too embarrassing. A cell phone you should know is a must-have component of a teen on the go, and without it, you are nothing, nada, RIEN.

When you are deprived of mobility, staying in touch with your loved ones, your friends, even your creditors, is extremely important and the cell phone is the perfect implement to fulfill that function.

Since I left the hospital, I have been housebound and my only link with the outside world has been this remarkable gadget. Kate, my lady in waiting, is doing her best to coddle me but that’s not enough. She is a great caretaker, but like many pretty things, a little empty-headed. She can cuddle but she cannot cook or even fetch me my slippers.

When handicapped, you have no better friend than your cell phone and I am not embarrassed to say that when I go to sleep I cling to my iPhone like a pacifier. I am not sucking on it, but it is close.

I have become a newborn Christian teenager again and texting, sexting or messaging is now part of my regular routine. I can keep in touch with old partners in crime or plot new escapades from under my blanket. In the mean time, my spies in the field keep me aware of what’s going on outside my small Big House and are waiting for my instructions to proceed.

I could tweet some grandiose non-sense but I prefer not too. I entrust that role to our Tweeter-in-chief who is obviously more adept (?) than me at that.

The road to recovery goes through dark swamps and gloomy forests but my guiding light is the hope of walking unhampered and competing with you very soon.

Before I go, thank you again to all those people who have called, texted, tweeted, visited and made my life so much more pleasant by doing so.

Thank you brothers and sisters!

Ce n’est qu’un au revoir mes frères…

Alain

Fourteen steps

There are fourteen steps leading from my living room to the upper section of my condo. Even though I have lived here for a number of years, I was never fully aware of this fact… until now.

Down but not out.

Normally I probably climb those stairs 8 to 10 times a day. No big deal. Just a hop, a skip and a jump, all of this while yodeling. My cat often accompanies me and does this with irritating ease. But lately this trivial activity has morphed into something much more challenging. Since my back surgery, I have to pause almost on every step before trying to conquer the next one. I keep telling myself that this is just a temporary setback, but it hurts my self-esteem… without mentioning my back.

In today’s jargon, I am now what you call “mobility impaired”. I need to use a “walker” for moving from place to place. My own assessment is that it is much too early to pigeonhole me in this demeaning second-class status.
My only consolation is that I can now park in handicapped parking spots. But frankly, I would rather walk a few hundred steps rather than to use this dubious privilege.

A step is not much: in the US it is just 7 inches tall, but lately it seems to have grown taller overnight. It feels more like 9 inches than 7. Is it all these pills that I am popping up?

When I was growing up In Paris, we used to live on the 3rd floor of our building. This gave me ample opportunities to practice what is now called “competitive step climbing.” In those days, like most families, we didn’t have a phone and children were routinely used as unpaid laborers.
Alain, go and get a baguette… Alain get me a newspaper… Alain take the garbage down… Alain get some fresh milk for your brother…

I didn’t mind though. Any excuse was good for me to get out of the house and stretch my short-panted legs. I would rush down the stairs like an avalanche and woe be to anybody standing in my way. I was a real “galopin”.
Climbing back was no problem either. I would go up two steps at a time and I was up on the 3rd floor before you could finish any prayer to fend off the devil and his disciples.

So again, I am no stranger to stairs climbing. In my heydays I could challenge the best of them. You could even call me a visionary trendsetter.

Small steps are good for you. They keep you humble and levelheaded.
Remember Lao Tzu:

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

 Alain