Category: Fourre-tout

“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.” — Irish Proverb

? ????

Once upon a time, a curious mouse wandered into a house inhabited by a couple of bears. He then proceeded to explore the house from top to bottom. He went from room to room sniffing and examining everything within its reach.
He squeaked with delight when he came across some breadcrumbs left by Papa Bear and Mama Bear.
This looks like a good place to settle in, he thought in petto.

When she first saw the mouse, Mama Bear shrieked and hid behind the kitchen counter.
– Papa Bear she cried, there is a MO– USE in our house. Do something… chase him away.
– Have no fear, said Papa Bear, Bear Force One is here. He went to the broom closet, grabbed a fearful looking corn broom and went after the intruder.

The mouse, upon seeing mountainous Papa Bear exclaimed:

– You would not hit someone smaller than you, would you Monsieur Bear?
– Do you speak French? asked a startled Papa Bear.
– Mais naturellement Monsieur. I went to La Sorbonne in Paris, like all educated people.
– Oh excuse me said Papa Bear. I thought that you were a burglar.
– Not at all, said the mouse. I am an artist looking for a quiet place to perform my art.
– Do you have any money asked Papa Bear?
– Non Monsieur! We artists exchange art for food and lodging, just like Van Gogh, Vermeer, Cezanne did… Money means rien du tout to us. We live for and by art Monsieur.
-I see said Papa Bear scratching his head.

He then called Mama Bear and introduced her to the mouse.
–Enchanté, said the mouse.

Mama Bear blushed and curtsied.
-The pleasure is ours Monsieur.
– What is your name Monsieur asked Papa Bear?
– My name is Cyrano Federov, said the mouse bowing. A votre service.
– Federov you said?
– Yes, I have some Slavic blood flowing through my veins…
– So do we, said Papa Bear. By golly Cyrano, we could be related…
– Everything is possible, said the mouse.
– Well, said Papa Bear, I am a patron of the arts and since we are a blood relatives, we can offer food and lodging in exchange for a few of your creations. And by the way, what is it exactly that you create?
– I paint Monsieur and I sculpt. As a matter of fact, I would be very obliged to you if you would pose for me.
– Pose for you? What an honor Cyrano… But am I not too… fat…?
– Pas du tout Monsieur. Your broadness is a sign of dignified respectability. Henry VIII of England also had a respectable girth…
– Well then, said Papa Bear, since we are in total agreement, why don’t you stay for dinner?
– Vous êtes trop bon Monsieur Bear… I accept.

And that’s how Cyrano Federov became BFF with Papa Bear whose real name by the way was Biff Stroganoff.

Moral of the story: you can be friends with anybody, regardless of size, creed and weight.

Alain

 PS: If you feel like it, you can post a personal comment below by clicking on “Reply“.

 

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.”― George Carlin

 ? ????

 Be careful what you are praying for, you might get it… just like our last election.

After a prolonged drought, Californians were literally crying, praying, even dancing for rain. Following a seemingly endless drenching, they are now crying and praying again for it to stop.

The weather is like the government, always in the wrong.  Jerome K Jerome

Can too much of a good thing be bad? It looks like it. Too much of anything is not good for you. A slice of cake can be gratifying but gobbling the entire “gateau” will make you sick.

To the delight of the people, the prayed-for rain appeared like a Good Samaritan… but behaved like an invading force. It rampaged through the land raping and pillaging at will. It caused heavy flooding, washed hills away, knocked down venerable trees, destroyed roads, bridges, and left many communities without electric power.

When you witness this, can you still doubt climate change? Naysayers are always ready for a quick response, but on the sly they are adding stilts to their houses and buying flood insurance.

Excess of everything (wealth, food, weed, bowling, twitting) is bad for you.
“Excess” if you pay close attention, is a four-letter word in sheep’s clothing. If you are not careful, if will creep up on you and drag you down. It is the traditional monkey on your back (ego) that needs to be constantly fed and won’t let go.

April showers… OK. But a biblical deluge… my ark is not ready yet.

Just like King Midas, be careful what you pray for; you just might get it.

Alain

If you feel like it, you can post a personal comment below by clicking on “Reply“.

 

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” Henry Ward Beecher

? ????

I am not a believer but I totally agree with you on that Reverend.

Making friends, especially after a certain age, is an arduous pursuit. You are set in your ways and find it difficult to accept new people and new ideologies. Friendship is best started when young and open-minded. It gives you time to adjust to the idiosyncrasies of a would-be friend.

To gauge your degree of compatibility with someone, you need to take that person to a few different venues and observe his/her reactions. Is this person able to laugh at anything and most importantly at himself?

What I personally look for in a man or woman, is an easy smile AND a good sense of humor. Without this essential ingredient, regardless of any other qualities, a friendly relationship could not develop.

Making friends is almost like buying a new suit. You need to feel comfortable in it. You need to be able to bend in all directions without feeling constrained. If the suit feels uncomfortable, it is not meant for you.

“It’s very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.” Fran Lebowitz

It is true. A private jet is always a plus but it is not enough to win me over. I will settle for somebody with roller skates if he/she can make me laugh or laugh at my own jokes.

I am leery of puritanical folks who get easily offended. In my book I want to feel free to laugh at anybody or anything. When it comes to humor, nothing, absolutely nothing is off-limits as long as it is truly funny. Even dictatorships cannot stop people from laughing.
Off-color jokes by the way are not my cup of tea.

It is sometimes in stressful situations that you discover somebody’s sense of humor. When the Titanic hit the iceberg, somebody might have said:

“Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?”

Remember: laughter is a universal lubricant that reduces stress. If you feel moody, stressed and have high blood pressure, go to “laughter rehab” for a week or two.
It will help, I promise.

Alain ?

 PS: For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.