Category: Fourre-tout

I suspect that this particular tournament (Home vs. Home) came to be when one Petalumian challenged a Marinite this way:

“Let’s step outside to have a man-to-man conversation.”

 That’s one of the reasons Petaluma met Marin in the arena last Sunday. It was a clash of titans giants gentlemen bad hombres with raging testosterones.

This encounter consisted of four (13 points) round-robin games, with accumulated wins and points determining the final outcome. The club with the most wins (and points) will take first prize.
La Pétanque Marinière fielded the following grunts:

1. Sandra Shirkey, Mark Shirkey, Noel Marcovecchio
2. Alain Efron, Francois Moser, Claudie Chourré
3. Henry Wessel, Calvert Barron, Marc Davantes
4. Brigitte Moran, Charlie Davantes, Liv Kraft

The Petaluma Valley Pétanque Club deployed the undernamed doughboys:

1. Bleys Rose, Dennis Casad, Dennis Zerbo
   2. Albert Woodbury, Caitlin Woodbury, Hans Kurz
   3. Ed Porto, Dougie Coleville, Stu Rabinowitz
   4. David Hale, Larry Brown, Joe La Torre

The weather was sunny, a little cool in the morning, but absolutely beautiful in the afternoon. Due to the recent rain, the field remained a little “spongy” and unpredictable

One game was played in the morning and three games after lunch.

The first game was a total disaster for our team. We faced Albert Woodbury, Caitlin Woodbury and Hans Kurz and they sent us packing in a few minutes with a 1/13 score. We left the field with our tails between our legs.

After lunch, we met Bleys Rose, Dennis Zerbo and Dennis Casad. We did not fare much better, losing 4/13 to the enemy. Bleys’ impressed me with his shooting ability and handling of his team. A cool dude that Bleys dude.

On our 3^rd game, we faced David Hale, Larry Brown and Joe La Torre. At this point, we were seething with pent-up outrage and we finally won our first game routing our opponents 13/1. It was a much-needed shot in the arm.

On our 4^th and last encounter, we came across Ed Porto, Dougie Coleville and Stu Rabinowitz. We started well, lost a little steam midway and finally, due to the superb pointing of Francois Moser and Claudie Chourré, we scored another win 13/6.

The Petaluma folks are experienced players. They played very well and won more games than the Marinites. At the end of the day, they had won 11 games, versus 5 wins for Marin.

In 3 weeks we will meet Petaluma again (on their own turf) and the total number of combined wins of these 2 encounters will determine what club will be entitled to bragging rights.

It was an excellent day, full of action and brotherly love. Due to the flu epidemic, we avoided embracing or kissing, but some people could not help themselves and oblivious to the marauding germs smooched heartily. Containing passion is always a difficult task.

Around 4:30 p.m. it was all over. Petaluma had decisively beat us, but as we say in French “on leur réserve a chien de notre chienne” (an interesting expression meaning something like “we will have our revenge”).

Alain

PS: I managed to take some interesting pictures. Have a look.

Last Sunday Francois Moser and I played a few rounds of pétanque against Mireille Di Maio and William Lavelle.

Mireille’s pointing accuracy was uncanny; most of her shots landed on or a few inches away from the cochonnet. Useless to say that they literally trounced us in the first game. We managed to win the second game and lost the third game on the finish line.

Coming from a young adult, I would find Mireille’s pointing perfection annoying but normal; but (with all due respect) she is an octogenarian. According to the laws of nature, she should not be playing that well anymore.
Granted, she has been practicing for a very long time, but it is not the experience that counts; it is the person’s natural ability, and Mireille has it. Kudos then to Mireille and her achievements, and wishing her many more years of great pétanque…
William by the way also played extremely well.

Now, as you might have noticed, I like to give credit to individuals when they deserved it. But sometimes I feel that I have to update my original assessment.

Last year I gave a ringing endorsement to Wyatt (as she likes to be called) and she deserved it. I still say that she was the MIP (Most Improved Player) of 2017, but in 2018 she is quickly accumulating points to snag the MAP award: the Most Annoying Player of the year.

We all realize that she is handicapped, but even a disabled person should pay close attention to the game and abide by its rules. Susan does not seem to think so. She is a strong-willed individual who aspires to play only by her own rules.

We all know that she is hard of hearing, but this should not prevent her from being attentive to a game. Unfortunately, once she has expended her boules, she retreats into isolation and turns “a deaf ear” to the rest of the game.

She might be a nice person, but she can be exasperatingly argumentative.
Somebody has to talk to her. She is slowly alienating a bunch of players and in the future, she might find herself in a deeper isolation that she presently is.

It is a very difficult task since it almost impossible to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her. How can we handle this problem and keep everybody happy? Any shrink in our flock?

 Alain

The cyber world thrives on updates, and as one of the earlier proponent of the Fist Bump, I now endorse its latest version, the Rump Bump.

Due to the flu outbreak, I recently proposed that instead of smooching (and transmitting germs) we bump fists. In my latest 2.0 update, I suggest that in lieu of bumping fists, we bump booties. It is more hygienic (no direct skin contact) and more fun.

In our ever-evolving culture, the “derrière” has become an important symbol of sex appeal and social advancement, and as the saying goes “people who have it like to flaunt it.”

I want women to be liberated and still be able to have a nice ass and shake it. Shirley MacLaine

So doing the Rump Bump will please hygienists and hedonists alike.

Of course, there is a right way and a wrong way to do the bump. Keep in mind that, like a handshake, it needs to be firm and friendly. There is nothing worse than a half-hearted greeting; so you want your bump to be solid and convey the pleasure of meeting a friend again.

Just like an appealing face, an appealing booty reinforces social ties.

“Elle était aussi bien de fesses que de face.” Raymond Queneau
“She looked equally well from the front and from the back.”

Regarding of its shape, you need to have a pleasant derriere to do a friendly Rump Bump. If you are unsure of your “derrière’s” appeal, “Buns of Steel” exercises are available almost everywhere.

Remember, in these highly contagious times, you need to do the right thing. Whenever you meet friends, relatives or lovers, for sake of hygiene do the Rump Bump! Everybody will thank you for that!

Emeritus Professor Alain