Category: Fourre-tout

“Noise is a parasite. Anything noisy is poorly designed.” Raymond Loewy

Pollution is one of my greatest irritant, and if it were not for a few morons this plague could be kept in check .

Pollution is everywhere. We have Air Pollution, Water Pollution, Soil Pollution, Radioactive Pollution, Light Pollution, Thermal Pollution, Visual Pollution, Noise Pollution…
We also have pollution in space, on the Internet, and the famous Washington swamp is more toxic than ever.

Let’s never forget that Pollution is a man-made product that benefits a few but harms all of us.

One of the most irksome and most preventable pollutants is noise. Particularly noise produced by motor vehicles. Most of today’s cars are very quiet, especially electric cars; but many “modified” vehicles and Harley Davidson motorcycles owners in particular “choose to swap out the existing exhaust systems for straight pipes.” It then generates an extraordinarily loud and disturbing racket.

“The louder the noise the smaller the equipment. Let’s get one thing priapically straight: Men who ride extremely loud motorcycles have extremely small penises. The louder the bike, the smaller their naughty bit.” 

The revving of a Harley Davidson motorcycle is highly irritating. Its repeated artillery salvos are enough to wake up a cadaver.
It does not have to make so much noise. A BMW motorcycle in comparison purrs when a Harley Davidson bellows, and noisier never meant better.

I already hear some people saying, “it is a free country”, but these people might not know the true meaning of freedom. It is written that “One’s freedom stops where the freedom of others begins.”
The minute you step on somebody else’s “freedom” your own so-called “freedom” becomes a nuisance.

Consequently

If you absolutely must make noise, move to a deserted island or make your tumult productive and protest something worth protesting; something like pollution for instance.

Alain

“Survivor” is a word that has been misused, abused and squandered.

Call me picky, fastidious, punctilious, finicky, nitpicking or even a pain in the derrière, but accuracy is important to me. Misused words are like recurring four-lettered words: they bother me.

Lately, we have heard a lot about the sufferers of sexual abuse. I definitely feel compassion and empathy for their ordeals, but to be correct, these individuals are not “survivors”, they are “victims”.

The dictionary defines “survivor” as “a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.”

As far as I know, none of the plaintiffs have died. They have definitely been traumatized, and they were right to bring this issue to the fore, but nobody has died.

A cancer patient who is in remission or Elie Wiesel are survivors, a sexually abused person is not.

In the same vein, a horny teenage boy “assaulted” (déniaisé) by a libidinous woman is not a “survivor” but (in the eyes of many) a “lucky bastard”.

A robbery witness often describes what he saw as follows:
“The gentleman pulled a large caliber handgun and shot the cashier twice.”

Well, this man is no “gentleman’. According to a reliable dictionary again, a gentleman is “a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.”Anybody who robs and shoots another human being is definitely not an “honorable” person.

In addition, I intensely dislike the so-called French expression “double entendre”. A Frenchman would not understand the intended meaning of these words. The right French expression for “pun” is “un jeu de mots”.

Do not misuse words. If you do, you devalue them. Do not call Trumpland embezzlers “principled men”. There is nothing remotely honorable about crooked politicians who steal from their constituents.

And last but not least, please do not “assault” me for speaking what I believe. I am not exonerating the villains; I am simply correcting what I consider to be a linguistic error.

Thank you for your indulgence.

Alain

“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”

How much do you know about your neighbor, your pétanque partner or poker sidekick? Probably very little. It is only after his passing that you discover in his obituary how interesting this fellow was. And you regret not having been better acquainted with him.

I don’t know if it is bashfulness or indifference, but most of us alas, know very little about the people we see on a regular basis. We (sometimes) know that they are married and that they have a pet. But this is just about it.
The irony is that a lot of these personal details are public knowledge. Just punch a name in your computer and you will come across a trove of information.

But sometimes for one reason or the other, we don’t click. We often judge a person by his personality and everybody’s assessment is different. This fellow might be a good player but you don’t feel any kinship. You would want to have him with you in a foxhole, but not as a confidante.

Human chemistry works in mysterious ways. You have to feel a certain empathy to get closer to a person. Occasionally you get to know a person better and sometimes you even become friends. When this happens, you are ready to overlook his/her flaws.

“Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway.”

But being friends with somebody does not mean necessarily that you know that person well.
After a certain time, and 3 or 4 children, your friend might decide to have a sex change. Did you have any inkling about that? Probably not or maybe either of you didn’t want to talk about it. Are you going to remain friends after this?
Chi lo sa?

The main thing is to be more observant and maybe less guarded because “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.”

Starting a friendship is like dating. It might not work on the first date but it might get better on the second. The main thing is to be patient and tolerant.

If you want to be my friend, don’t be bashful.
Send me 3 copies of a detailed application and after thorough vetting and a discreet call to ICE, I’ll get back to you.

It is not that hard, is it?

Hugs and kisses!

Alain ?