“When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” ― Dawn of the Dead
Well, Hell seems to be packed to the brim because I see zombies walking our streets daily. If you are not observant, you might not have noticed… but I am, and I know that zombies have infiltrated our society. They try to blend with us, but they don’t fool me. Next time you leave your house, pay attention… it might save your life.
For the time being, they look harmless, but you should not trust them. They are like a fifth column, and someday they will rise and feed on your flesh.
But what is a zombie, might you ask? Well, before putting anything on paper, I check my facts with the Internet, and this is what it says about them:
“A zombie is a person or reanimated corpse that has been turned into a creature capable of movement but not of rational thought, and which feeds on human flesh.”
All right, now you know. The next question is how do you recognize a zombie? First, you should know that zombies never look directly at you. They usually walk with their eyes cast down, averting your stare. They pretend that you don’t exist, because someday they will drink your blood, and you usually don’t befriend a person you intend to drain of its vital juices.
The second thing that you should be aware of, is that zombies continually talk (or mumble) to themselves. They never stop. They almost sound like have-been politicians.
The third thing (a dead giveaway) is that they usually use a special little box to communicate with the devil. It is not always apparent, but trust me, I have carefully observed them and have taken notes… even photographs. I know what I am talking about.
The frightening thing about this though, is that some of your friends or even family members already are, or slowly becoming zombies. It becomes difficult to communicate with them and they now barely acknowledge your existence.
Especially susceptible to this curse, are teenagers. But don’t despair. They can be cured… or detoxed. If you want to save them, here is what you need to do.
First, you should get a good mirror that you are going to use to avert their gaze. The second utensil that you need, is a solid wooden stake, preferably made of seasoned oak.
Then, one night, when the apprentice zombie is asleep, you seize his/her little devil box and vigorously hammer the rigid oak stick in its heart.
To the best of my knowledge, this is the best-proven way to “de-zombize” a friend or a person dear to you.
Don’t thank me. This is a public service announcement.
Alain
“This is the way the world ends; not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door.” ― Amanda Hocking