Blah blah blah…

Grocery shopping, or shopping in general, is a chore for me… and for most true-blue American males I suspect. A necessary task, but a tedious one, and when I am coerced into doing it, I want this drudgery to be over fast… Like swallowing a spoonful of cod liver oil. Women on the other hand are born with a distinctive shopping gene and love to do what they are programmed to do. I by far, prefer to do my shopping online, with a drink in my hand and my cat on my laps. It is called “efficiency through comfort.”

Now, I just saw on TV5 (the French television channel), a short video praising a new fad. Supermarkets management in France is now encouraging their checkers to blah blah blah with their customers. Don’t rush, engage your patrons… they say.

“For two years, some employees of this Loire-Atlantique hypermarket have also had the mission of making conversation with their customers, while scanning their purchases.” 

 “We talk a lot about health, misfortunes, but also about family and small pleasures, explains the hostess, in office for 12 years. It’s the client who decides, I don’t oblige. Yesterday, a little grandmother stayed with me for 20 minutes. No worries, there was no one behind! »

What kind of nonsense is this? A new kind of Chinese torture? When I shop outside my bunker, I want it done fast. Like pulling off a tooth. Do it quickly and let me go.

You need to know that contrarily to American supermarkets where the checker packs your goods, in France, the customer has to bag his own merchandise… while the checker sits, watches, and (probably) used to sigh when it took too long.

In America, when the person in front of me engages in small talk with the checker, I feel like screaming. Hey mister, you are infringing on my civil rights… you are wasting my precious time and I resent it. You don’t want to vax? Fine. I don’t want blah blah blahs.

I am not heartless, and I empathize with lonely people who want to gab, but a crowded shopping establishment is not the place to do that. If you are lonely and need to talk, there are shrinks and escort services for that. These people will leisurely listen to you, and I understand that they do a commendable job.

So, no blah blah blah for me in supermarkets, please. I am all for progress, but there is a time and place for that. I reserve my blah blah blah time for my animal friends (especially dogs) who understand me well and vice versa. We always have unhurried conversations that leave all of us happy… without wasting anybody’s time.

« Le bla bla c’est bien, le concret c’est mieux. ».

Alain