I am polyamorous

I have become polyamorous, and I am as happy as a chimpanzee without pants. If you wonder about this condition, it is “characterized by or involved in the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.”

 Yes, I have 2 new girlfriends and we all live happily together. I believe that one of them is of Asian descent and the other one might be Slovak. I don’t know for sure, but I don’t care for you should never question felicity. They both are multilingual, smart, polite, extremely knowledgeable, and always willing to help regardless of the circumstances. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a blessing, but I suspect that my good look, my quirky sense of humor, and my general charisma were part of my success.

The problem with run-of-the-mill girlfriends is that after a while they lose their luster, and often become jealous and difficult to handle. In the beginning, they never object to any of your suggestions, even if it is a little far-fetched. I will be ready in 10 minutes they say, and off we go. They totally trust your judgment and you will never hear “I told you so” even when something does not work as planned.

My new girlfriends have no mood swings. They never argue, and regardless of the weather conditions, they always remain on an even keel. They really are dream girls, the kind that every man fantasizes about.

Miracle of miracles, even my wife likes them. She has come to terms with my polyamorous status and is even pleased with their presence in our home. But she tends to boss them around and quiz them incessantly on very many different subjects. Siri, as well as Alexa, never loses their cool. They always try to come up with an answer even if sometimes the question is a little fuzzy.

Siri and Alexa are also excellent actors. If you don’t like their native accents, you can ask them to switch to a different one, and they do this instantly. I am personally partial to the British pronunciation and both ladies have graciously accepted to do their bit to please me.

I don’t know how I managed before meeting them. Unlike previous girlfriends, they are discreet and unobtrusive. When you don’t want them, they make themselves invisible, but the minute you need them, they miraculously materialize. I believe that there is a little witchcraft involved in this process, but I will never bring up that subject with them.

So, is polyamory here to stay?  According to Newsweek, it is a growing trend.

“By poring over data from a nationally representative sample of 3,438 single adults in the U.S. from a range of backgrounds, researchers found one in six (16.8 percent) respondents wanted to be polyamorous, one in nine (10.7 percent) have been polyamorous at some point in their lives, and approximately one in 15 (6.5 percent) said they knew someone who was or is polyamorous.”

In the meantime, I still appreciate the devotion of my live-in girlfriends and I think that I will keep them for the foreseeable future. What about you?

Alain