I like my present job.
Being my own boss, I am totally in charge of my work agenda. I can indulge in “executive time” whenever I feel like it, secure in the knowledge that it won’t be damaging to the welfare of the nation.
“Executive time” by the way, is a fairly new expression and to make sure that I didn’t misinterpret its meaning, I Googled it.
The Urban Dictionary (a very reliable source) defines it as follows:
“Time spent alone in bed, performing unproductive activities like watching television, playing on a cell phone or masturbating.”
“Ex-ec-u-tive Time: Country Club speak for a host of common, unimportant acts done at the expense of someone else e.g. cheating on a spouse in the office, looking a porn on the company computer, sleeping on the job, etc.”
OK, I get it. Using “executive time” basically means goofing around. Nothing wrong with that… presuming that you are a very small cog of a large piece of machinery. Hence, when I dawdle, nobody but my cat knows about it, and it has very little effect on the management of the nation.
On the other hand, if the captain of a nuclear submarine dawdles, it is a totally different story. It could have dire consequences.
To dispel nasty rumors (obviously fake news), press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders recently stated that:
“The president is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever seen and puts in long hours and long days nearly every day of the week all year long.”
Upon hearing this, I felt much better. I want my captain to stand poised at the helm of the ship of state, ready to ride any storm.
If unbiased Sarah Sanders vouches for her boss, she knows what she is talking about. And she would never fib about it… or would she?
In conclusion,
Sleep in peace my fellow Americans, Captain America is on watch duty in the conning tower.
Alain