“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”
How much do you know about your neighbor, your pétanque partner or poker sidekick? Probably very little. It is only after his passing that you discover in his obituary how interesting this fellow was. And you regret not having been better acquainted with him.
I don’t know if it is bashfulness or indifference, but most of us alas, know very little about the people we see on a regular basis. We (sometimes) know that they are married and that they have a pet. But this is just about it.
The irony is that a lot of these personal details are public knowledge. Just punch a name in your computer and you will come across a trove of information.
But sometimes for one reason or the other, we don’t click. We often judge a person by his personality and everybody’s assessment is different. This fellow might be a good player but you don’t feel any kinship. You would want to have him with you in a foxhole, but not as a confidante.
Human chemistry works in mysterious ways. You have to feel a certain empathy to get closer to a person. Occasionally you get to know a person better and sometimes you even become friends. When this happens, you are ready to overlook his/her flaws.
“Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway.”
But being friends with somebody does not mean necessarily that you know that person well.
After a certain time, and 3 or 4 children, your friend might decide to have a sex change. Did you have any inkling about that? Probably not or maybe either of you didn’t want to talk about it. Are you going to remain friends after this?
Chi lo sa?
The main thing is to be more observant and maybe less guarded because “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.”
Starting a friendship is like dating. It might not work on the first date but it might get better on the second. The main thing is to be patient and tolerant.
If you want to be my friend, don’t be bashful.
Send me 3 copies of a detailed application and after thorough vetting and a discreet call to ICE, I’ll get back to you.
It is not that hard, is it?
Hugs and kisses!
Alain ?