Do you (really) speak French?

Hello my American kindred spirits! Are you going planning to go to France soon? And if so, how is your vocabulary?

If you feel a little uncertain, let me do my bit for the holidays. I am offering you 10 common expressions that are sure to endear you to French natives. Memorize them and use them adequately carefully to impress your Gallic friends.

« Pisser dans un violon » (to piss in a violin)
  To waste time on something futile

« Péter plus haut que son cul » (to fart higher than his arse)
  Full of himself, pretentious

« Il ne faut pas pousser mémé dans les orties » (don’t shove grandma in the nettles)
  Don’t push it too far

“Pédaler dans la choucroute (to pedal in sauerkraut)
 Trying hard but achieving very little

« Les carottes sont cuites » (the carrots are cooked)
 The jig is up

“Avoir le cul bordé de nouilles (to have your ass lined with noodles)
  To be extremely lucky

« Pas piqué des hannetons” (Not spoiled by cockchafers)
  High-quality product

« Ça casse pas les briques » (it does not break the bricks)
  It is not very exciting

« Il me court sur le haricot» (he is running on my bean)
  He is bugging me

“J’ai la frite” (I have a French fry)
 I feel great

Got it? A vos marques… Prêts… Partez! You can thank me later.

Alain