America is now going through the presidential primaries and I have never seen so much nastiness and mud slinging, especially on the GOP (Grand Old Partypoopers) side.
It seems that every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to be president. Have you ever paused to wonder why?
What motivates all these already spoiled politicos to run such a long, arduous, unforgiving steeplechase? Why are they so willing to suffer the slings and arrows of their detractors?Ego, power, fame, narcissism, masochism?
All of the above?
Frankly I was a little puzzled. Being unable to sleep at night because of this, I finally came up with what I believe are some good reasons why these people are running for the Number One spot in the land.
Let me share them with you.
I think that the main reason why all these guys want to be President is Air Force One and its little cousin Marine One.
Wouldn’t you also run for president if you could travel in such extraordinary luxury for 4 years or even 8 years in a row?
Barack Obama (codename Renegade), his wife Michelle (Renaissance), and their daughters Rosebud and Radiance definitely think so.
When you travel as a president you don’t have to go through all the indignities that the average Joe is routinely subjected to.
You don’t have to go through any security check at airports. You don’t have to remove your shoes, your belt or your padded bra.
Inside your private jet you have a very comfortable bed at your disposal and you can sleep through any trip. I could kill for that.
You can also take your wife along (including your pooch) and you will always take off and land on time.
When I reflect on all the miserable, cramped airplane trips I took these last few years, I think that this perk alone is worth putting up with pesky challengers and nosy journalists for more than a year.
The second main reason for running is that once in the place, you will have a staff working for you on hand and foot night and day. You’ll just snap your fingers and your every wish will come true.
Just imagine… being taken care of anytime… immediately…
Pinch me.
Then, what about always getting the best table at any restaurant? And never carrying a wallet?
What about being exempt from traffic and parking problems?
What about going to swell parties, hobnobbing with showbiz people, calling heads of states by their first names, watching new movies in exclusivity, getting a cheap haircut, not having to be home when the Comcast guy shows up?
And let’s not forget the money angle.
After leaving the White House the President gets a comfortable pension ($203,700 per year).
“By law, former presidents are entitled to a pension, staff and office expenses, medical care or health insurance, and Secret Service protection.”
After retiring the ex-president will then write a book (of course) and go on very lucrative speaking tours.
Don’t you think that those are very good reasons for getting into hand to hand combat with your opponents during the primaries?
I think so.
Is anybody by the way (besides a loopy Socialist) running to improve the living conditions of the American people?
Don’t be daft.
Alain