Casting off is hard to do

I am pretty sure that most people have already been on a cruise ship, one of these large luxurious barges where the main entertainment is eating.
But not too many people are aware of the intricate technical ballet orchestrated by the bridge before the ship’s departure.

A modern cruise ship is a behemoth and it needs to complete complex maneuvers before it can get under way.
It is a delicate and a lengthy operation.

When my wife prepares to go to work, in many ways she reminds me of such an operation.
I am not implying (God forbids) that she is a behemoth, but she often acts like getting out of the house is akin to the casting off of the Queen Mary 2.

I know that I have broached this subject before, but I think that it is worth revisiting.

When I go somewhere, I quickly check the essentials (spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch) and off I go.
When I close the door behind me, it is the point of no return. Alea jacta est!
Damn the torpedoes! Full steam ahead!

With my consort it is a different story.
It seems that she have to go over an elaborate checklist before she can take off.

She has to check the weather, weigh herself, play with the cat, get dressed, pick some shoes, make a smoothie, tease the cat, change outfit, check the value of the rubble, change shoes again, check traffic on her computer, make a few phone calls, water some plants in the garden, have a drink of water and look at herself in the mirror once more.

And when she finally pulls up anchor, she often comes back to make double sure that she didn’t overlook anything.

But once underway, she is a (good) fearless driver. Evel Knievel reincarnated.
Get out of my way punks, make room for Babushka!

The fuzz has not yet stopped her, but her day of reckoning is coming closer every day.
That’s what I keep telling her and as you know, I am never wrong.

I am far from being perfect, but contrarily to the above-mentioned person, I can leave the house in thirty seconds flat!

Alain

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