I am a Netflix subscriber and I will confess that I watch a fair amount of movies.
Because what else is there to do in the evening besides sex, pot and Scrabble?
But unfortunately the pickings for decent movies are slim.
After their release good flicks don’t appear in a Netflix lineup for months, even years, but unfortunately turkeys (like The Interview) show up right away.
Since I am a finicky viewer (I don’t like sci-fi, horror stuff, vampires, brainless teenagers stories, cowboys, action, sports), and since I don’t like listening to endless four-letter words, I have been in a bind.
Because of this unfortunate situation, I have sought solace in Bollywood movies.
That’s right, I hooked up with the Guys of Mumbai.
Conventional Indian movies are feel-good, entertaining yarns. And they always end well.
They are also very predictable.
It starts with a good-looking guy or a good-looking girl looking for (what else?) love.
These two people are handsome, likable, but inexplicably unable to find love.
Is that possible? But never mind…
Bollywood sagas are long, involved stories, with a lot of unexpected developments.
To make a story interesting you need conflict, and since in an Indian love story, the entire family is involved, we are never short of those.
The father is usually a dignified, upright gentleman, but it is his wife who runs the show.
Incidentally, in India women are often called “auntie”.
It is a term of endearment used mostly by children and teens for a female (not related to them) who is middle-aged or older.
In a Bollywood production, singing and dancing are a must.
Every so often the main protagonists will break into songs.
If they are sad, they will sing sad songs, if they are happy they will sing happy songs.
When they are very happy they dance.
In Indian movies (at least those I have seen), there is no sex and no kissing. Those disgusting practices are evidently left to decadent westerners.
The movie usually ends up with a wedding ceremony.
The bride is always covered with jewelry (with a ring in her nose) and the groom looks like a maharajah. And there is natürlich a lot of dancing.
If you were sick with the flu and in low spirits, what would you choose to watch: a Freddy Kruger movie or a Bollywood flick?
It’s a no brainer!
You will pick Bollywood over Hollywood.
After watching the rousing finale of a Bollywood pic, you will be cured and itching to get up and go dance.
Namaste!
Alain