A while ago the economy took a big whack on the rump, and many companies rushed to “downsize”. It was trumpeted to the four corners of the kingdom that downsizing was good.
The new credo (but so incredibly un-American) became “smaller is better”. And nobody took it more to heart than the young people of America. They applied this new paradigm to whatever could benefit them, especially their vocabulary.
The English language that had flourished for centuries suddenly became a victim of downsizing. Instead of using a few well-chosen words to define an idea or to respond to an inquiry, American youth downsized their utterings to a few grunts and a handful of clichés.
How was your trip to Tibet Tommy?
Cool.
How did you like the “Ugly Rumors” concert?
It was cool.
How is your girlfriend?
She is super cool.
Why should anybody bother with a rich and elegant prose when a few grunts or words will suffice?
Just memorize about two hundred and fifty words (spelling is optional) and you can be a success in America. That’s probably why “all the tired masses yearning to be free of vocabulary” long to come to America.
The kids in the meantime are reverting to the cave-age way of life where a few grunts and a big stick were the epitome of “savoir vivre”.
This speech-impaired generation is some day going to run the country, and one of these lads will almost certainly become president.
So, mister President, how was your trip to Russia?
It was cool.
What do you think of terrorism?
It’s uncool.
What do you think of space exploration?
It’s super cool.
Thank you for your insight on all of these important issues mister President. A final question, how do you like being president?
It’s awesome!
Thank you mister President.
Wow! I sleep better now, knowing that our future leader will always say what he means, and mean what he says.
Alain