You are dead… but you can vote.

This is the message apparently communicated by the French penpushers to Jean-Claude Laprie, a retired man of 79 living in France’s Dordogne area.

This sounds oddly familiar. If I am not mistaken, this is the peccadillo that our former (thank God) commander-in-chief has been bellyaching about. A battalion of living dead staggering to the polls and stealing the rightfully-his elections from him.

Well, monsieur Laprie was not dead, but tarnation, his pension checks stopped coming. The French bureaucracy though was thoughtful enough to send him a new “carte électorale” (voting card). So, even though you are dead… you still can vote.

This is scary my friends. You might be dead, and as it happened to monsieur Jean-Claude Laprie, but you might not be aware of it.

A word of advice if I may… When you wake up, ask a reliable person to check your status. Many “Tamalous” might be in this predicament and live unaware of their condition.

How can you make sure that you are still alive? Ask yourself, am I still playful? Am I still joking? Am I still laughing? Do I have some close friends? If the answer to these questions is no, you might be a living dead.

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.” —Johnny Carson

Don’t laugh, some people are so attached to their smartphones that they want to be buried with them. Just in case… you never know when you will need that thing. Or maybe they want to tell us what’s happening in the Great Beyond. We are all curious, aren’t we?

Many people believe that some living dead have infiltrated our society and are planning a takeover. That’s what already happened in Russia. Citizens have been gagged, sedated, and forbidden to express their feelings. In short, they can live, but only as living dead.

But, miracle of miracles, even the living dead can sometimes come back to life. The cure is a good kick in the pants to awaken them and make them realize what happened to them.

Personally, I pray and hope that all the living dead in Russia wake up soon from their coma… and forcibly remove the brutish puppeteer that made them pariahs the world over.

“He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . . . provided, of course, that he really is dead.” —Voltaire (philosopher)

Debout les morts ! (Arise from the dead) Восстань из мертвых !

Alain