“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag
The above quote is, or should be my wife’s personal motto.
Unlike mosquitos that seem to prefer masculine blood, the travel bug is more likely to bite women than men. And women, like willing victims, seem to enjoy its sting.
A woman is always ready to pack. It is in her genes. Just say the word, or even hint at it, and a suitcase magically appears.
It might have something to do with the not-so-distant past when a snarling male burst into a cave, grabbed a woman (any woman) by the hair and dragged her a few miles into his lair. It seems that since that time, regardless of the circumstances, women have been ready to go.
The destination is unimportant. The journey is.
Routine, a perfectly innocent word to men is absolutely unpalatable to women.
They know that routine, just like the Sargasso Sea, is to be avoided at all cost and she will go to any length to avoid the doldrums.
To combat that affliction, she might go into politics, priesthood, the military, or TRAVEL.
A woman needs adventure, excitement, foreign shores to thrive. A man’s needs are more prosaic: a keg of beer and a sports channel will suffice. Men have to be coerced -with promise of unlimited sex or a keg of beer (preferably beer)- to take a (foreign) vacation.
They equate a vacation with a military expedition. It has to be carefully planned and avoid unnecessary losses.
A woman is not concerned with such trivialities. Over the top is her method of operation. Oblivious to danger, she will attack foreign shopping bunkers with the élan of a bayonet charge.
A bayonet charge is always scary, but it is particularly frightening when executed by seemingly out of control Hausfrauen.
When traveling with a woman, men need a lot of patience and endurance.
A vacation is no walk in the park; for many men it feels more like an obstacle course.
And when you usually drive to go to grocery store around the corner, it can be challenging.
A woman regards a vacation as an overdue bonus. A benefit that will allow her to brag for months about her incredible adventures in the Old Continent.
A trip to the Scottish Highlands definitely beats Marge’s pitiful outing to Disneyland.
For a man, the time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking. George Ade
After the credit card charges have been paid out.
Alain